let me down slowly - wilbur soot

chapter 57- talking to myself

"*mwah*"

rewind.

"*mwah*"

rewind.

"*mwah*"

rewind.

i'm not entirely sure how long this went on for, but let's just say it's longer than i'd care to admit.

i sigh as i close the vod, put the phone down, then fall backwards and lay on my couch. i close my eyes as i envision the moment again. a smile subconsciously creeps onto my face.

i wonder if aubrey's thinking about this as much as i am...

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aubrey's pov

i can't believe i did that!

i kissed him! i kissed wilbur!

well, not really. it was in minecraft. but still!

i lay down fully on my couch and cover my beet red face with my hands.

why did i do it? i'm so conflicted with my emotions, i can't tell if i like wilbur as just a close friend or as more... it's all so complicated it makes me wanna-

i grab the nearest pillow, press it roughly against my face, and scream.

yeah. that's what i needed right now.

i sit up and stare at the wall for a while.

do i regret it? no.

would i do it again? probably.

so that means i like him, right?

no, not right. you recently got out of a relationship. you're emotionally vulnerable right now and you're looking for someone to bring you comfort, and wilbur just so happens to be that person.

"that's not true!" i say out loud to my subconscious. thank god no one is here to witness me talking to myself.

desiring comfort and having romantic feelings for someone are two totally different things.

"well, yeah, i know that, but-"

so why do you think you have romantic feelings for wilbur?

"that's just the thing! i don't know!" i bury my face in my hands and groan. i can't believe i'm arguing with my own thoughts right now.

of course you don't know. you suck at this type of stuff.

i scoff as i shoot my head back up.

"seriously? you ARE me. you suck too!"

that's fair i guess... but you know who doesn't suck?

i think for a couple of seconds before my eyes light up.

"niki."

i snatch my phone up and scroll through my contacts quickly, and my finger hovers over niki's call button.

"i can't do this," i tell myself. "i feel like i only ever call her because i need advice."

wow. you can't discern between feelings AND you're a shitty friend!

"will you SHUT UP?"

i stop fighting myself for a minute when i feel my phone vibrating in my hand. i look down at the caller.

incoming call: niki nihachu <3

a gasp gets stuck in my throat.

how did she know?

of course i immediately answer and raise the phone to my ear.

"hey, niki!" i say cheerfully, as if i haven't been talking to myself and having a quarter-life crisis over a boy. "how have you been?"

"i'm well! and you?" niki says, her soft, sweet voice immediately easing my nerves.

"i'm also doing well."

"are you really?"

i think for a moment, then smile softly.

"yeah. i actually am."

"you moved on pretty quickly. which is good, but is there any reason?"

"no! no. not at all."

i scratch the back of my neck as i attempt to cover myself up.

"well that's great news! you deserve to be happy."

i smile widely at her kind words.

"thank you... that means a lot after all this. thanks for being there for me, too. i don't know if i ever really expressed how grateful i am."

"of course! us girls have to look out for each other, right?"

"right."

i can hear niki softly laugh from the other side of the phone, before she lets out a quick "oh!"

"hm?" i egg on.

"i actually called you for a reason."

"what reason?"

"i'm currently in london! i got there earlier today for work stuff, but all that's done now. so i was wondering if you'd maybe want to hang out either today or tomorrow and officially meet up?"

my face lights up as soon as she mentions this.

"you're here?! oh my god, yes i'd love to meet up! are you free tonight for dinner?"

"yes! where should i meet you?"

"there's this really cute cafe near my apartment... i'm sending the address right now."

"that sounds perfect! what time should we meet?"

"does 6:30 work for you?" i glance at the clock and it's currently 3:51 pm.

"yup, that works out great. i'm so excited!"

"as am i! i'll see you soon!"

"can't wait!"

niki hangs up and i squeal in delight. then i realize how stupid that squeal must've sounded and clear my throat.

that settles it, then. i'll talk to niki tonight, and i'll finally come to a consensus about my feelings.

i inhale and exhale slowly as i wipe my sweaty palms on my sweater sleeves. i better start getting ready now.

(A/N we've seen wilbur go crazy over aubrey, now it's aubrey's turn to go crazy over wilbur >:) i think you guys are really gonna enjoy the next few chapters [i've said that before but literally... it's gonna get good... trust the process]. ANYWAYYY yeah yeah please vote, comment, share, reading lists... you know the drill! thank you so much for reading and supporting me, it means the world to me :') i love you so much always and forever please never forget that xoxo <3)