"hi"Alexander said as he opened the door.It was the next day and my aunt had contacted Alex , I was serious when I said I wanted to hear his side of the story and I was also serious about not wanted him to be in my life.
"Hello,come in."I said leading him to the living room,My aunt was in the living room already I knew my aunt didn't want me to talk to him but he was right it was my decision.
"Im so happy you called hazel I want to be in your life."he said.I didn't say anything just gave my aunt a knowing look."The reason I wanted you here was to hear your side of the story."I said, sitting down.
"ok,I loved your mother very much hazel we met in highschool I admit I wasn't the best person back then but for some reason your mother stood by my side she loved me and I realize now I didn't deserve that love.
We were going to get married then we had you everything was going great we were happy,It was my fault things ended like it did.Im not going to lie to you,hazel I started drinking even then your mother tried to help me.
I came home one night drunk and high and got in to an argument with your mother she was threatening to leave me if I didn't change I got angry and smashed my drink in the wall.
I didn't see you and some of it caught in your hand.After that your mom left,I was stupid I didn't try to stop her I was too busy getting high.I almost died one night you know, I drunk driving when I collided into a tree.
I almost died that night,It was a wakeup call for me although your mother leaving made me realize I needed to change.I went to rehab,it was hard but I wanted to get better for her.
when I got out I talked to your aunt ,I tried finding your mother I never stopped.It killed me when I found out she ..passed away.I almost relapsed but I couldn't do it ,I knew she would've wanted me to take care of you to love you like deserved.
Im so sorry hazel, I'm sorry I was a shitty father,but im here now and I know I don't deserve it but I want to be in your life so bad.But if you say no, I'll understand."he said tears streaming down his face.
I looked at him,he was far from the father I dreamed about the one that would hold me in his arms telling me he loved me,the one I longed for so why was I crying.
"are you alright darling."my aunt said touching my arms,I didn't know what to say his story wasn't different from what my aunt told me I wasn't shocked or surprised I knew what was to come.
"yeah I'm okay."I said hoarsely cleared my throat."I should go, I'm not pressuring you nor do I want you to do this out of sympathy.I'll give you time ,you have my number if you want to talk I'm here for you."he said getting up and leaving.
I was grateful for that, I was overwhelmed and needed time to think."I'll see you out."my aunt said following him.In that moment I wanted to talk to my bestfriend and thats what I did,I called sam.
"wow"sam said after I finished telling her everything including the bit about me and noah."I know right, so what should I do."I said,
"do what feels right ,do whatever you want hazel its up nobody is going to make this decision for you its up to you."she said,that wasn't what I wanted to hear.
"samm ,what would you do if you were in my situation."I groaned,"hazel,you know me if it were me in this situation you would be giving me the same advice.on another note im happy for noah and you he sounds great I'm so jealous and so happy for you.but what about lucas."she said.
"first of all thank you and next,what about lucas."I said smiling,"you don't like him anymore."she said teasingly."I didn't say I like him,I like noah.Anyways sam I've got to go,some of us have school."I said.
"you know I got school bitch,I love you hazel."she said laughing.
"I love you sam."I said,hanging up.well that didn't really help I was still conflicted on what to do.Maybe I should ask noah and jordan ,yeah I'm sure they've better advice than sam.
"you ready to go hazel."my aunt said she was going to drive me to school."yeah."I said, getting my bag.
"so what do you think I should do auntie."I said ,we were in the car.
"do what you want to do not what others want you to do.do what feels right to you,its your decision darling.""my aunt said."ughhh your just like sam."I said whining,trowing my hands up in exaggeration.
"well sam is right."she said,I sighed my aunt was no help but I knew she didn't want me to have alex in her life I expected her to tell me that.now she choosing to be switzerland not cool auntie.
"so alex is your dad."jordan whispered,we were in our usual spot(the library)."yes thats what I said."I said,I was telling him everything that happened." and your aunt knew."he said.
"yeah,so what do you think I should do."I said puting my head in my hands."honestly I don't know on what hand I would probably want to give him a chance and get to know him and the other hand what if he hasn't changed and what if you open your heart to him and he just changes his mind about wanting to be in your life.
I don't know girl do you I guess what does your gut say."jordan said.
"I don't know jordan and it scares me so much."I said looking up at him.I wished my mom was here she would know what to do but deep down I knew she would want me to listen to my heart,she would want me to do what feels right for me.
whay did my life have to be so complicated why couldn't I have a normal life with a normal family and a normal love life a normal everything .
"I love you hazel and I'm here for you no matter your decision."jordan said squeezing my hand."I love you too jordan."I said hugging him.I needed this,I should really tell noah.
"that reminds me I have to go tell my boyfriend talk to you later,love."I said taking up my things.
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Fire on Ice(On Hiatus)
Romance"I love you "I said looking into his eyes." no you don't, you love my brother that's who you should be with."he said. "I love you more. "I said as tears came to my eyes."you don't mean that." he said turning away. "but I"I said looking at him with t...
