Time skip
"I fucking hate you ,you know that right."he said holding my hand."I know I hate you too.",I said as I kissed him.I did really hate him though,but I loved him more if that made sense.He was everything I wanted but I didn't deserve him but I wanted him now he was such a poison that I craved one sip and you get hooked for life they said I didn't care though I look back now and I regret it.
I shouldn't have tasted him I don't want to now anyway."I don't love you but I love that you love me."he whispered in the kiss."I know."I said as the tears fell ,my heart broke.He couldn't love me he was a weapon ,a tool he couldn't love me,it hurt so much but I couldn't stop."I have to go."he said pulling away always leaving just giving me a taste to keep me sated but never enough to satisfy that ache,he wasn't mine no matter how much I wanted him to be.I was patheic really,"hurry back."I said kissing him one last time hoping he would come back.
Sighing I closed the book, I loved reading romantic books I craved them like air I was a hopless romantic.I got that from my mother she was a romantic also,it was weird really I love reading romantic stories but sometimes I'm afraid of it like what does it mean to give your heart to someone.
I know what you're thinking didn't you love Noah,I did ,I do but I always had this fear especially when someone breaks down walls I've set around me.I'm afraid to get hurt ,I sometimes push away people because of it .Sometimes I just say fuck everybody to the world ,I hate it here sometimes.I hate you ,always whispering in my ear giving me doubts insecurites.you know how much I hate you right,I know.
maybe I'm thinking too much,I always do anyway.I swear I'm bipolar sometimes, yesterday I was so happy I was at peace now I'm being my normal moody self,yahhhh!!
As I stared at the blank page trying to solve the equation I realised something it was nearing summerbreak I didn't really have anything much planned for the summer ohh wait I actually did I wanted to actually visit my grandparents in Jamaica.I know you're wondering "grandparents" ,I've never mentioned them before. You see when my mom was younger she moved abroad to work where she met my dad and she never really went back much to visit.
My aunt is her half sister different mothers by the way, she always told me she wanted to go back there we were actually going to plan a trip together we never got to.I want to go there for her I haven't talked to my grandparents in a while I needed to get in touch with them.
For this summer I would get a job and save I mean I'm legal now I know if I talk to my aunt she will allow me to go,This trip would be good for me,I would get to know my grandparents more last time I saw them was at the funeral we talked I guess I don't really remember I was crying alot.I didn't really feel like a talker at the time every one kept saying sorry for your loss,I tuned out most of the voices.I hated that my mum wouldn't be there with me though it sucked but I was going to go for her.Plus vacation would be really good, I mean to just unwind maybe get out of my head for a few days.Shake some ass and drink away my problems yeah that sounds about right
"hey aunty I was wondering if you have a number for Grandma."I said as my aunt answered the phone."Yes I have it in my phone,do you want me to send you."she said."yes ,please I actaully wanted to visit them this summer its been so long."I said."ohh thats great I know they would love to see you,I'll send it now we can go together,I'll buy the tickets and set everything up."she replied.
"no I was actually going to try to get a job this summer and save."I said hastily."ok lets do this,I'll put half and you put the rest."she proposed."alright we can do that,thank you aunty I'll let you get back to work."I said."bye dear."she said hanging up.Now the only thing I had to worry about is passing these final exams now thats the big problem.
I was failing maths chemistry and physics,the three worst subjects for me anyway,I really need a tutor I wonder who could I ask to help me.Maybe I could ask Noah I mean he was practically perfect,I'm sure he could help me. Alright its settled I'll ask him but if he can't thats total understandable I mean he is kindof a busy person or maybe I should ask jordan or maybe I could ask lucas.I haven't talked to him in a minute it feels like everytime we got closer we just got futher apart.Maybe I should call him or not I'm not sure.would he want me to call him,would he want me to want to call him.I think way too much perks of being a virgo I guess.
"hey can we talk."I said as actually called him."I can't actually talk right now I'm busy maybe some othertime."he said,his background sounded noisy was he at a party."but I.."I said before I was cut off by him hanging up the phone.
Urghh he's such a jerk sometimes you know screw him I won't call him again matter fact I won't talk to him again.Maybe I'm overreacting ,I just wont think about anymore I'll focus on the maths problem atleast that I can try to solve.
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fire on ice💞💓💗💖😎😆😊
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Fire on Ice(On Hiatus)
Romance"I love you "I said looking into his eyes." no you don't, you love my brother that's who you should be with."he said. "I love you more. "I said as tears came to my eyes."you don't mean that." he said turning away. "but I"I said looking at him with t...
