Fire on Ice(On Hiatus)

Chapter 46

"he doesn't deserve you."jordan has we lied side by side on his bed."I want to hate him." I said staring at the ceiling wondering where did I go wrong, when did it start hurting,how did I end up here."he's a idiot if he doesn't realize what he lost, you're amazing hazel."he said."yeah."I said,I didn't really believe him,I wanted to believe that I was worth that I meant something to somebody.I hated feeling like this cause in my heart I knew I was worth it ,I was amazing and I deserved the love I craved.

It's the voice that disagrees that makes me doubt,"Do want watch YOU."jordan said breaking the silence."sure."I said non-enthusiastically, don't get me wrong I love me some Joe Goldberg but not even his toxic self, cute face and sexy voice couldn't take my mind off him."maybe after we are finished we can watch good girls."jordan said smiling.Sigh maybe Rio could distract me from the heartbreak and pain I felt inside."definitely."I said as I tried to sound more enthusiastic.

"even though Joe like falls in love with his characters and becomes obssessed over them then kills them in the end,I still really think he's totally hot."jordan said grinning.

"well he is, the whole killing part is kind of scary,I don't think I would want him to be in love with me cause he'd probably end up killing me.It's a really sick show if you think about it ,we are basically idolizing a murderer."I said."wow, who hurt you, I'm sorry but you were totally ruining the vibe."Jordan said.I sighed I'll just keep my opinions to myself I guess nobody wants to hear them anyway.

We were watching good girls since we finished You and I was totally in love with rio, why do girls like badboys well not all girls anyway .But why do we like badguys, why do we get all hot and bothered over them,its weird actually.

Maybe I'm thinking too much I do that alot nowadays,I'm too tired for this shit."Are you going to sleep hazel."jordan said looking at me."no."I said drowsily. I was really tired but I strained my eyes willing them to stay open but sadly I falied. They came crashing down as a wave of sleepiness hit me hard I was out like a light after that and for the first time in a long time I slept peacefully unbothered by dreams that didn't make sense.

Time skip(1 week)

I came out the exam room feeling like a weight was lifted off my shoulders ,I felt lighter for some reason.I was smiling,when was the last time I did that,smile genuinely not a fake one or forced one.It felt good though, to be happy I wanted to be like this all the time was it possible.

"thank God we're done ,I swear these exams were just too stressful.I need to relax and party of this stress."jordan said as we made out the building."yeah,I need to shake my ass on a yatch right about now."I said jokingly."you and me both girl."he agreed laughing.

My day was going great, that was untill I saw him he was standing beside his car in a grey jacket with a white tee and black pants.He looked good,I stood there staring ,snap out of it hazel.I pushed myself to move counting my steps I didn't want to talk to him so I hoped he didn't call to me.

I sighed I made it to the car, and I didn't have to talk to him,"is that lucas."jordan said suddenly ,I looked up from my phone.There he was standing before us ,I was tempted to grab the wheel and run him over .Did that make me crazy, "can we talk."he shouted,"you don't have to."jordan said.I didn't want to but I deserved some sort explanation. "no I want to hear what he has to say,this won't take long but if you want to go that's alright"I said,"no I'll wait."he said."ok."I said getting out the car.

"hi ,how you've been."he said his hands in his pockets,"Are you serious."I said incrediously. After all I've been through all he's put me through he wants to ask me that."I'm sorry hazel you deserve an explanation.I used to do street fighting thats where all the bruises came from.I didn't do it for the money,when my parents died it was my escape.I couldn't stop it when the pain got too much I would use it.

Anyways I worked for this guy we call him scarecrow, he also operates a local gang he wanted me to join I was going to but then I met you and I didn't want to anymore. long story short scarecrow was not happy he thought it was because of you he was going to hurt you.I didn't want that to happen so I ended it,I told scarecrow at first he wasn't letting me go but then he said he could leave I just had to fight one last match.

I know I don't deserve you but I want you to know if I don't survive tonight ,I love you cupcake.It took me awhile to realize it but I do, I've never felt like this and its so scary I don't want to loose you but I love you too much to not let you go."he said.Was I hearing right did he say he loves me,I wanted to say it back ,say something but I didn't I stood there."say something,anything yell at me if you want to."he said desperately.

"I don't know what to say lucas you hurt me lucas I don't think I can trust you, trust what you say right now.I want to believe you when you say you love me but I don't,I need time and you need help I just don't think we're good for each other right now.Its weird but even though I don't trust you I think I love you."I said."you love me."he said dumbfoundedly.

"was that all you heard ,listen I have to go."I said."wait hazel I love you and I'm so happy right now to hear  taht you love me too and I promise I'll earn your trust back.Just give me one more chance don't give up on us."he said taking my hand.I stared at our hands one last time before pulling away,I couldn't bear to satnd there without wanting to fall hopelessly in his arms.

"Are you alright."Jordan said as I got in the car.I told him what happened,I was still confused and torn about the whole thing.My heart wanted to forgive him but my brain warned me against it.I was conflicted ,this wasn't how I imagined my day going.

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