The next day I felt much better I no longer had an headache or high fever.For some unknown reason I woke up feeling sad,I couldn't explain this feeling.
As I sat in class thoughout the course of the day this feeling never left me.It stuck to me like a piece of gum under the the desk or a bad memeory you couldn't get rid of no matter how you fucking hard you tried.
All I wanted to do was go home and sleep and pray this feeling of depression would leave me.I didn't want to talk to anybody to explain to them what I was feeling because honestly I didn't know either.
The bell rang signalling lunchtime I headed straight to the library,I just wanted to be alone.Was I being a bad person or friend for ghosting everyone;for wanted to deal with my misery and feeling of dread alone but who cares who gives a fuck anyway.
Everyone can suck ass cause if I want to be alone I'll goddam be alone.It's my life I have control over it well sometimes anyways.I didnt ask for this you know to loose my mother, to loose my bestfriend, to cheat on my boyfriend to fall for his brother to meet my drunk of a father who is now surprisingly sober and has become a father to my brother.
Maybe I'm ungrateful and don't realise the things I have maybe I'm just a selfish bitch who thinks way too much.I put in my earphones and turned up the volume as I listened to sad songs and imagined the life I want to live.well too bad thats all I could do imagine and I hated that fact.
Maybe it's because I'm on my period I'm behaving like this or maybe its because I'm tired ,tired of life,tired of fucking everything sometimes I hate everyone around me sometimes I hate muself.Always stuck on my headspace stuck in my head.
Take away the pain wishing you'll never cry again.It scared me how fast my moods could change,maybe I could talk to someome maybe that would help.Or maybe I'll stay here slilently crying for help.
why did it feel like I was reciting a poem.The day dragged on untill finally it reached the end I sighed in relief as I heard the final bell."hazel."someone called me as I walked down the halls.
"hey."I said,it was jordan.ofcouse it was him,"are you avoiding me agin,wait why do you look like that."He said as he came up to me."I'm just not feeling like myself I'll talk to you later ok ,my dads picking me up."I said walking away.
I knew I could have handled that better but I was just tired and those pills I took are starting to wear off.My cramps were coming back."hi darling are you ok"my dad said as I entered the car."hi,I'm ok."I said but we both know I wasn't true but I didn't want to talk and I'm glad he respected that fact and not try to ask me questions.
The rest of the ride was spent in silence my cramps got even worse on the way home and I was starting to feel carsick.I sometimes would get painful cramps when I'm seeing my period but this felt really bad.
"could you open the window."I croaked out feeling nauseous. "What is it are you alright,should I take you to the hospital."my dad said as he opened the windows and turned off the AC.
"no."I said as I leaned me head back on the seat.soon we reached home I rushed upstairs to the bathroom where I trew up,when I was finished I brushed my teeth took a pill and headed staraight to bed.
My dad was downstairs probably talking to my aunt,I didn't want her to worry about me but I knew she would anyway.I fell asleep awhile after that, my dad had asked if I wanted tea but I denied I just wanted to sleep.I was sick yesterday now this, can't a girl catch a break.
As I was sleeping I dreamt of that girl again that looled like me.we were in a field filled with beautiful flowers lying beside eachother staring into the sky. "Aren't you going to ask why I'm here."I said."I knew you would come back."She said nonchalantly."who are you."I said looking at the sky what a weird dream this was.
"I told you I'm you from another dimension. "She said."who are you really whats your name."I said,it was clear I didn't believe the whole another dimension bullshit."call me Iris,princess. "She said smiling.
"Alright iris why are you in my dream what does this mean. "I said getting up,I needed answers."I can't tell you that hazel its up to you to decide your destiny." She said."Stop saying that just tell me whats going on."I said suddenly it felt like I was being pulled back into reality out of this weird dream.
nooo,I need to figure this out of what did these mysterious dreams mean.I sighed as I slept on my bed too tired to get up, to tired fight ,sleep consumed me as thoughts of the dream and iris plagued my mind.
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This book was originally suppose to be a supernatural book,but as you can see we're getting a little bit of that in hazel's dreams.what do they mean though .stick around to find out.
Yours truly
Fire on ice
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Fire on Ice(On Hiatus)
Romance"I love you "I said looking into his eyes." no you don't, you love my brother that's who you should be with."he said. "I love you more. "I said as tears came to my eyes."you don't mean that." he said turning away. "but I"I said looking at him with t...
