Taron and Me Book Two

Reception

I went for tea at Matthew and Rosie's country estate. I have no idea how they find the time to cut all the grass as when I look out on their lawn, I see it is larger than most garden lawns. Mine and Taron's is a rather unruly mess. A bit like our relationship at the minute.

We sipped our tea on the lawn whilst bitching about our respective husbands.
"So why are you here again? You don't normally bring a suitcase." Said Rosie whilst reaching for a custard cream.
I sighed and took four pink wafers from the plate. This was a stressful story.

For the purpose of this book I shall give you an accurate reconstruction. You're welcome.
It was just after the events at the abandoned baked bean factory. I shook Taron awake and we managed to get back to the Ritz. I went and found Taron a sponge to mop up the blood on the back of his head.
"So Moriarty is out to get us!" Taron looked shocked.
"Yup." I got into bed and cocooned myself in the duvet, waiting for the little spoon to join me.
"Mollie I...." Taron turned away.
"What?" I deranged myself from the duvet.
"Nothing."
"No."
"Yes." Taron disappeared to the bathroom.
"What is it?!" I demanded getting out of the bed and my warm nest.
"Ok ok fine!" Taron came back in.
"Why did you leave me to die on the pavement?" Taron looked sad.
"Oh, I checked your pulse." I smiled.
"It could have gone and I could have died whilst you were away." Taron now looked cross.
"Don't be grouchy, I'm sorry Taron I genuinely thought you would be ok."
"I wish that were true." Taron looked at the wall.
"Wow Ok." I stormed over to where my phone lay on charge. I ripped it from the power source and thrust the phone infront of him in a rage of vicious lust.
"Look." I cried.
"How to make carrot soup?" Taron quizzed.
I quickly thumbled for the correct link.
"This one!"
"Taron and Richard carpool karaoke crack?" Taron looked at it for several seconds. "Oh."
"Yes oh. Are you having an affair with Richard Madden!" I was now upset.
Taron hesitated for a while.
"FUCK YOU TARON EGERTON!!!!!!"
Then I stormed out.

"Damn." Rosie said as she poured more tea into our empty cups.
"Yup." I sighed.
"Look don't worry, divorce is a pretty speedy process these days." Rosie patted my hand.
"How do you know?" I looked up.
"Just wikihow." Rosie looked away. I saw she was looking in the direction of the mysterious stable man Richard Brooke.
"He's a fitty isn't he?" I commented.
"Do you think so, I think he's pretty ugly." Rosie brushed some imaginary dust from her plate.

Richard came over to where we were having our garden tea party.
"Hello there ladies." He smiled, his accent thick with the quells of Irish sexiness.
"Hi." Said Rosie pulling out a chair. "Tea?"
"Lovely. May I?" He gestured at the plate of biscuits that was rather depleted after my story time.
"Of course." Said Rosie.
Richard took a custard cream from the plate and slowly brought it to his lips. He then carefully brought out his tongue and licked it, all the while he was staring intensely at Rosie. Gosh, I did not know where to look. Rosie seemed to really dig Richard's biscuit eating as she was also locked into a gaze that was set on him.
"Rosie my dear, where did we leave the carriage?" It was Matthew calling from afar. Rosie immediately looked away but the damage had been done. Matthew stared Richard down.
"I'll come and show you." Richard stood up quickly. "I've just seen it."

"Richard huh." I stood up and walked away to be dramatic.

Later I was strolling the grounds of the estate. Matthew was in his study, studying I presume. I was unsure where Rosie was. I was walking past the stable when I heard voices. I remembered my training from SPAM and went into stealth mode.
"I should stop buying custard creams." Rosie laughed nervously.
"You loved it really." Richard sounded like he was stood close to Rosie.
"Hmm."
"Rosie, I need to tell you something." Richard was shuffling his feet.
I noticed a convenient hole in the wall. Richard was dangerously close to Rosie. And they stood right in front of Mrs Darcy.
"What?" Rosie looked hot under the collar.
"You've got an eyelash just there." Richard brushed her face gently and backed away.
"Oh." Rosie relaxed and laughed.
"Why what did you think I was going to say?" Richard smirked.
"I thought you were gonna confess undying love to me." Rosie was hysterical now. Richard joined in. Then they suddenly stopped. In an instant they were locked in a passionate embrace. Kissing.

Good Heavens

I ran as fast as my feet would take me. Don't ever snoop on country estates. Where did Rosie keep her god damn drink? I needed something lethal to get over the drama. Although I would be lying if I said it wasn't rather exciting.

As I walked to the house I saw Matthew out of the corner of my eye. He was walking towards the stable. He was opening the door and turning the light on.

Bugger

"MATTHEW!!!" I cried. How could I distract him?
Alas it was too late.
"What in the name of-" Matthew looked on in horror.

I made my way over to see the action.

"Matthew, I...oh god I'm sorry." Rosie pushed Richard away.
"Deceit." Cried Matthew, gripping the door frame to steady himself.
"It was silly, I'm so sorry." Rosie went to take his hand.
"Really?" Richard looked offended.
"Not a word from you, you evil flea!" Matthew aggressively pointed at Richard.
"Fr-from me!" Richard looked shocked. "Look I can see your upset but, your wife's actions are entirely her own, I didn't tell her to be unhappy in her marriage."
"I'm no-" Rosie was interrupted by the deafening sound of Matthew head butting Richard.

What a glorious sight.

"Matthew!" Scolded Rosie. Although she did not go to help Richard I passed him a tissue because the sight of blood alarms me.
"Jesus." Richard tried to hold back the blood that was gushing from his nose.
"No fuck off you nasty little twat." Matthew snarled turning to leave.
"Little!" Richard looked angered. Matthew turned.
"That's right, you're a short ass." Matthew smirked devilishly. Wow.
"Take that back." I could swear I saw a brief look of glee in Richard's eyes.
"Ha no." Matthew turned to leave again.

Richard charged at Matthew, with surprising strength he tackled him to the floor. The pair struggled, pulling hair and spitting. I could not tell if Rosie was appalled or found it hot. I suspect both.
"Damn your eyes!!!!" Matthew cried.
"I'll give you short." Richard then took a bite into Matthew's shoulder.
"Ahhh, bastard." Matthew cried.

Then they were on their feet again, fist fighting. Yes, hot, hot, hot. They threw several punches back and forth. Then they began to wrestle. Both were beginning to look quite worse for wear.
"I think we need to end this." Rosie said to me, looking worried.
I opened my mouth to make a suggestion but then felt a breeze and saw lights overhead. A helicopter.

"THE GAME IS OVER JIM." A voice boomed above us. Jim?
"JAMES MORIARTY, WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED. SURRENDER YOURSELF IMMEDIATELY!"

Fuck.

"Oh Fuck." Said Rosie.
"Treason." Matthew cried, grabbing Jim by the hair.
"Ah, my best feature." Jim smirked.
"He's here officers!!!" Matthew called.
"Are you alright?" I said to Rosie who was stood rather still.
"Matthew, take him into the light." Said Rosie quietly.
"What?" Matthew strained to hear her. But then, Jim kicked him in the balls and ran. He yanked open a secret trap door in the corner and disappeared. Since when was that door there?
"Matthew I-" Rosie stopped.
"Look Rosie my de-....I'm going to bed." Matthew walked off looking sad.