Taron and Me Book Two

Philosophy now xoxo

I did miss Katelyn but my eardrums certainly did not. We had gone five whole days without the megaphone. Although I had also gone five whole days with Seb being all menacing. And I did really hope Katelyn wasn't dead. 

"Ros-....I mean um Buster Moon, it's Fitzwilliam here. Where are you, is evil flea dead? Are you dead? Are you with him. I miss you multitudes my dear, come back to me." Matthew sobbed into the phone. I handed him a custard cream. "An insult." He shrieked, chucking the custard cream into a nearby bush.
"Argh, what in the name of mercy was that." Tyrone emerged from the bush.
"A custard cream." I said.
"I canny be bothered to even comment." Tyrone bent down and retrieved the custard cream before lodging it in his hairband.
"What on earth!" Matthew exclaimed.
"Saving it for later." Tyrone shrugged.
"WHY ARE YOU ALL JUST STANDING HERE!!" Seb shouted through the megaphone. I thought I had hidden it well.
"Calm down laddie, we're just having a wee tea break. Fire up ye olde tea shack if ya please lassie." Tyrone snapped his fingers at me.
"MY GIRL IS MISSING YOU FUCKWITS WE NEED TO GET HER BACK."
"When were you planning to undertake this mission?" Taron slung an arm around my shoulder and I was fighting the urge to rip his clothes off.
"YESTERDAY SO GET A FUCKING MOVE ON." Seb appeared to have violent tendencies. I believe this is why he and Katelyn went so well together.

We held an emergency SPAM meeting. We seemed to hold a lot of them these days. We had invited Mycroft but he never responded to our invitation.
"What a jackass." Taron stated. I needed to get him out of America. Or just keep him away from Americans.

"So as the leader of our wee group I propose that we start with a summary of actions to date." Tyrone rubbed his hands together.
"Fuck that! We haven't got fucking time to mess around. The love of my fucking life has been fucking kidnapped!" Seb shouted.
"Are you fucking finished?" I asked.
"Yeah Seb quit swearing." Taron stated.
"Our main priority is getting Katelyn back safely!" Seb cried.
"And Rosie." Added Matthew.
"But mainly Katelyn." Replied Seb.
"What is your problem sir?!" Bellowed Matthew.
"Jim Moriarty hasn't nicked your wife!" Seb got up in Matthew's face.
"He's practically eaten her face off before though! The man is in love with her. I don't blame him but I still despise him and fear for my dears welfare." Matthew was red from shouting but a tear slid down his cheek. Seb also began to cry.
"We need our girls back. Bring it in man." Seb and Matthew embraced in a bro hug.
Several seconds later Taron joined them and the three swayed in the spot, clinging to one another.

Sick bucket please.

"I've got a text!" Cried Tyrone.
"This isn't love island." I said.
"Aye but it's from ya wee serial murderer man."
"Jim!" Seb dropped Matthew and Taron and raced towards Tyrone.
"Read it out." Called Taron from the floor.
"Ah yeah, wee Seb, ya need to meet in some wee dark alley at midnight and ya need to go alone or Katherine's gonna get her wee neck snapped."
"Katherine?" I questioned.
"Oh he's sent another message. Tiny error there, he means Katelyn."
"Oh my God, I'm coming doll don't worry!!!" Seb cried.