Taron and Me Book Two

Damn my lack of self assurance.

I was not at all sure about this. What if she tried to eat me?

"Doll, please tell me you didn't give Richard the loaded gun?" Seb turned to Katelyn.
"Um......want some coke?" She smiled.
"Don't worry dearie, I always keep a loaded pistol in my girdle." Mrs Hudson stepped forward and aimed at Meryl, who was looking a little worse for wear.

Mrs Hudson pulled the trigger and some flowers popped out of the barrel of the gun.
"What?!" She exclaimed.
"Ah ya must have picked up ma magic gun. Me and Orsino use it for role play." Tyrone sniggered. Mrs Hudson dropped the gun very quickly and wiped her hands on Brandon's coat.
"Do you mind?" He snarled.
"I'm going to try and get this Bally car moving. Then we can just squish her." Announced Matthew.

"Come on Taron, what do we do?" I whispered.
"What do you mean?" He replied.
"Well I'm sure they'll do her in. There's loads of them and only one of her. We could just make a run for it now." I suggested.
"But....what about the bros?" Taron's bottom lip quivered.
"Never mind." I sighed.
"I'd love to runaway with you carrot, but I didn't think we'd live long on our own."

That was probably true.

"Hey, we could just bore her to death?" Suggested Seb.
"For the love of god Seb, she's already dead!" Sighed Rosie.
"Don't worry bestie, Seb can just whip his weapon out." Said Katelyn.
"I didn't know that's what we were cal-" Rosie was interrupted by Katelyn.
"I mean his knife for gods sake!" She snapped.
"Oh yeah, forgot I had this." Seb laughed. "Taron, come on bro let's finish her."

The two gingerly approached Meryl, she staggered towards them with her mouth open.
"I mean you did say Seb was a tasty snack." I said to Katelyn.

Then all of a sudden Meryl's head was chopped off.
"Um......WHAT THE FUCK." Screamed Taron. "Omg omg, ahhhh, Seb I think I'm gonna throw up.
"Take it easy man." Soothed Seb, though he also looked quite green.
It was Mycroft that had decapitated her. He had a hidden blade on the end of his umbrella.
"Aye. I never knew wee Mike was such a baddie." Chuckled Tyrone.
"A what?" Asked Greg, looking confused.

"Um....good friends." Called Matthew. "Someone is getting rather frisky in the boot."
"Orsino!" Cried Tyrone. He raced to the boot of the car, but Rosie stopped him from opening it.
"Think about it Tyrone." She said. "Do you really want your boyfriend to try and eat you?"
"I'm willing to take that chance. He is the wee love of my life." Tyrone wailed.
"Yeah, your life. Not your death." I pointed out.
"Let's just leave him in there for a bit and- OH SWEET JESUS!!" As Taron was speaking, the car had lurched forward and run over his foot.
"Oh no! Are you alright Raddish?" I asked.
"Yup.....yeah....d-doesn't even hurt that much." He stuttered, though his eyes had teared up.
"Oh sorry Taron." Called Matthew.

We all filed back into the car. This time, Taron sat on Seb's knee. He claimed he could patch Taron's foot up. I asked if he was a wizard and he said only in my dreams.
"I think I'm dying." Whimpered Taron.
"Don't worry bro." Seb looked at his foot as if he wanted to vomit.
"Do you want a custard cream?" I asked him.
"WHO BROUGHT THOSE WRETCHED SQUARES OF TORTURE WITH THEM?" Roared Matthew.
"They were just in the biscuit tin." I said defensively.
"Honestly it's not like I'm stuffing them in your face." I sighed.
"No but they are a symbol of a time I'd.....I'd rather forget." Matthew sounded emotional.
"Get a grip." Hissed Tyrone.

Then the car set on fire.

"Oh blast!" Muttered Matthew.
"What exactly have you done to this car?" Asked Mycroft.
"I got it to work!" Shouted Matthew. "Damn your sarcasm!"
"Well a good run won't do us any harm." Said Mrs Hudson joyfully.

We got about half a mile before I felt like collapsing.
"Why'd you buy a house in the back end of nowhere?" I wheezed at Rosie.
"It's a secluded sanctuary." She said.
"It's a pain!" Said Katelyn, although she was still jogging pretty effortlessly. "Here bestie, this will make you speed up." She handed me some of her nose candy.
"I don't know if I want to go on the sauce." I said.
"There's zombies out here qween, everyone knows zombies are on heroin. We need to be ready for them."

That made sense.

"Thanks for this Seb." Said Taron. Seb was giving him a piggy back.
"Don't worry man. I got you." Seb was also effortlessly jogging.
"What was that?" Gasped Rosie.

There was a rustle from a nearby bush.

"Oh god. It's not Richard Madden is it?" I groaned.
"Get lost ya wee twit! Did I ever say ya hair was like a wire scrubbing brush with gonorrhoea?" Tyrone screeched.
"If you are going to insult people, then at least use insults that make sense." Mycroft rolled his eyes. "Sebastian, do you have any more of those.....what did you call them? Was it a Curly Wurly?" He puzzled.
"Here you go Croftie." Seb handed him a curly wurly.

"Oh my god!" Exclaimed Rosie. "Thank god you're here!"
"Oh good lord no!" Matthew was looking over Rosie's shoulder. "Anyone but him!"