Taron and Me Book Two

Fermented Chicken

"We have a slight problem." Mycroft wiped the blood away from his mouth.
"Remind me never to get on tha wrong side of you?" Tyrone found it very funny.
"I do no do my own dirty work." Mycroft sniffed.
"What's with the massacre look then?" Greg looked concerned, but also quite attracted to blood soaked Mycroft.
"Well it appears that Jim Moriarty has sent out his henchmen to slaughter us all."
"Good grief!" Matthew shouted.
"Why though?" I still wasn't 100% sure who Jim Moriarty really was.
"This is what happens when you associate yourself with my little brother." Mycroft looked towards Brandon. We all turned to do the same and saw that he was picking his way through the buffet that Tyrone had laid out, occasionally he would slip something in his pocket.

"What about my wife!" Matthew was furious.
"Who?" Mycroft looked sinister.
"You know Ro-" Greg clamped his hand over Matthew's mouth.
"You're NOT married Matthew." Greg struggled to keep Matthew restrained.
"Yes you and Rosie divorced when she turned to life of crime, didn't you?" Mycroft prompted him.
"This little story you have concocted is despicable!!" Matthew shouted. "Me and Rosie are soulmates, she isn't a thug!"
"Do you want to be butchered ya wee idiot! Stick to tha story." Tyrone snapped.

Then Matthew pounced on Tyrone. He yanked his green hair and proceeded to repeatedly hit his head against the table. I held in a laugh.
"Get off him, someone do something." Taron shrieked.
Seb came up behind Matthew and picked him up. How did he do that? He chuckled him aside and stood between Tyrone and Matthew.
"Who's the 'thug', as you so eloquently put it, now?" Mycroft glared disapprovingly at Matthew.
"Terribly sorry for my outburst good sir." Matthew muttered to Tyrone.
"It's fine ya wee drama queen, just avoid the hair next time."
"There won't be a next time, you're coming with me." Mycroft pointed at Matthew.

Late that night I was asleep in me and Taron's trailer. I had such fond memories of the first time I came to Texas and was convinced he was dead. Then my phone rang.
"Egerton residence, Mollie speaking." I said blearily.
"It's me."
"Who?" I couldn't cope with guessing games at this ungodly hour.
"Buster Moon." I was immediately reminded of the code names we had selected for each other just before Rosie left to kill people. It was Rosie.
"Ah yes, Mrs Crawley here." I said.
"Just checking in." Said Rosie.
"Ah I see, killed anyone yet?" I asked.
"One or two, just for show though and I'm pretty sure they deserved it."
"Cool. You spoken with Crystal yet?" Our code word for the evil flea.
"A few times, I think he's more convinced now that I'm a wanted criminal."
"I think Fitzwilliam is in the shit." I said, using our code name for Matthew.
"Why?" Rosie sighed.
"He beat Tea man up and now umbrella man is shouting at him." I could still hear Mycroft's lecture 4 hours after it had began.
"My poor soldier." Rosie said sadly.
"Yeah."
"How's Clay Calloway?" Katelyn.
"Bossy." I replied.
"Tell her to call me on this number." Rosie then read out a number.
"Okie dokie." Taron began to stir beside me.
"Tell then we don't need any life insurance." He muttered.
"It's Buster." I mouthed.
"What?" He looked confused.
"Never mind." I put the phone back to my ear but Rosie had gone.

"Pssst, over here bestie." I was on my break and walking over to the Tea shack when Katelyn summoned me from in a bush.
"What are you doing?" I went over and stood next to the bush.
"Be discreet!" She rolled her eyes. So I joined her in the bush.
"Had a call from Buster, now I've called an urgent SPAM meeting."
"In a bush?" I was confused.
"No qween don't be stupid. I wasn't exactly going to broadcast a secret meeting was I?" Katelyn sighed.
"Babe, what are you doing in a bush." It was Seb.
"Oh so you just gonna call me 'babe' now? Can't remember my real name?" Katelyn turned to glare at Seb.
"I'm sorry about that!" Seb helped Katelyn out the bush.
"I know I just love you too much for you to be a dick."
"It's a good job I'm not then."
Katelyn and Seb then seemingly began to eat the face off of each other.
I sunk further into the bush.

We were huddled around an alarmingly small table at Pedro's Pub. The SPAM meeting had begun.
"Firstly, we would like to thank Matthew for accepting the request to go on an anger management course." Announced John. Why was he even here? We all applauded anyway.
"Now the most pressing matter." Greg sipped his pint. "Jimmy Crystal."
"We don't have to use the code name at an official meeting." I pointed out as I gestured to the empty Pub.
"Better to be safe than sorry."
"What do we do about him?" Katelyn said. Bucky (the dog) was on her knee. She had to keep moving her gin so he would not try to drink it. Katelyn and Bucky were similar in many ways.
"I've instructed Rosie to kill him." Mycroft announced.
"Are you mad!" Matthew thumped the table.
"Quite the opposite."
"But what about the dangerous people he sent to kill us." They seemed to be forgetting this.
"Ah, that's where you come in." Mycroft smiled.
"What." I nervously drank my lemonade. Alcohol makes me need the loo so I gave it a swerve today.
"I'm going to put you and Katelyn in charge of slaughter duty. In simple terms....what was the phrase you used Sebastian?" Mycroft turned to Seb.
"Shooty shooty stabby stabby. Pretty simple really."
"Yes, that. We'll supply you with weapons in due course." Mycroft got up to leave.
"Just a minute." Taron said. "What about me?" He looked offended.
"What about you?" Mycroft sighed.
"What's my job?"
"Try not to get your head cut off by a psychotic hooligan that has been instructed to make you into mincemeat." The Mycroft left.
"I hope they give me something explosive." Katelyn giggled. "Oh my god bestie we could call ourselves the communist crusaders."

I was wondering how much gin Katelyn had consumed, when Mrs Darcy trotted into the bar.
"Good lord!" Matthew jumped up and ran over to the horse. They stood for a moment in an embrace. Or at least Matthew hugged her.
"There is a note attached to her saddle." Matthew exclaimed. "Dearest Matthew, here is the first step of the mission complete. Love BM xxxx"
"BM? What in the holy hooligan is that?" Tyrone said.
"My dear." Matthew whispered.