Taron and Me Book Two

Crunchy

"ORSINO!!" Wailed Tyrone.
"It's-It's just a sc-scratch." Orsino was shaking.
"That's Bally awful old friend." Matthew gasped.

Seb shot the zombie with much force.

"Wooo hot." Katelyn kissed him.
"Thanks doll." He winked and brushed the sweat from his eyes like he was a waterfall.
"Well it was good knowing you Orsino, but I guess this is where we leave you." I smiled and began to tug Taron away.
"We can't just leave him!" Cried Tyrone.
"No babe, you must go on without me. I'll only get worse and zombies, well they lack retention." Orsino smiled sadly.
"Listen man, that's total bullshit." Seb ruffled his hair.
"Yeah if one of us dies we all die." Taron said. I discreetly pinched him. "Or maybe a few of us." He added quickly.
"I think I should take this." Rosie took the machine gun from Matthew and handed him the picnic basket.

"Rosie my dear, if worse come to worse you take Katelyn and Mollie and Mrs Hudson over here and just run." Matthew said heroically.
"Don't be sexist dear." Said Mrs Hudson as she crunched a severed hand under her heel.
"No it's just-" Katelyn interrupted him.
"Look bestie, maybe it would be best if you just ran. You're not fuelled up on coke like me." She smiled and skipped ahead.

Then some glass smashed.

"What was that?" Taron clinged to Seb.
"I have got this, don't worry." Matthew now looked a bit wild. He had pulled the sleeves off of his shirt, so his modest biceps were now roaming free. He had rubbed dirt in his hair. (He claimed it was already there but I saw him running it in before we left the flat). And he had war paint on. Similar to Taron's but it was in lilac instead of green.
"You don't have a gun." Scoffed Rosie, who strode forward and fired bullets mercilessly at the corner shop that the sound had come from.
"WOAH STOP, JESUS I'M NOT DEAD!!" Cried a voice from within.
And who came out? Yup, Richard Madden.

"Oh god not you." Sighed Orsino. He was now very pale and kept stumbling into Tyrone.
"Aye, though I nearly was part of the walking dead." Richard said as he brushed off some plaster from the ceiling.
"You're fine!" Spat Rosie. "I've run out of bullets though."
"Nice one." Greg rolled his eyes.
"Sorry, who was the one trying to save us all?" She turned to glare at him.
"I have a better idea." I announced. To my annoyance, everyone seemed quite shocked. The cheek of them! I was a very decisive and active character in the story of my life.
"Care to share?" Sneered Mycroft.
"Care to shut up."
"He's barely spoken all day." Puzzled Taron.
"I'm asserting my authority." I snarled.
"What's this plan?" Snapped Seb.
"Oh I was just gonna say we should take that car over there." I sulked.
"Ok." Shrugged Rosie.

We were worried about being in such close proximity to Orsino, who seemed to now be drooling over the sight of Matthew's fingers. I mean I suppose they are fleshy.
"The boot." Suggested Seb.

"Sorry about this old pal." Said Matthew, as he slammed the boot.
"The blasted thing won't shut!" Yelled Matthew, who opened and closed it repeatedly to little effect.
"Dude you keep catching his fingers." Seb ushered Matthew out of the way and chucked Orsino's hand in.

Then we all piled into the car.

"Sorry Richard, no room for you." Taron shut the door.
"Oi." Richard slammed his hand on the window. Then Matthew locked the doors with a satisfying click.
"Aye, feck off ya wee rascal." Tyrone pointed and Richard and had his finger and his thumb in the shape of an L on his forehead.
"You can't just leave me to get eaten!" Richard wailed.
"Watch us". I cried.
"As a law enforcer I don't think I'm allowed to just leave him to die." Sighed Greg.
"Ah, what does it matter?" Called Tyrone from the footwell in the front passenger seat. (We were rather short of space).
"Fine." Katelyn pouted. She snatched a gun from Seb and opened the window a tad and hauled it out.
"That should fend them off for a bit." She called.

Then we flew off at the speed of lightening. If lightening was 95 and had arthritis in both knees.
"Can't you go any faster?" I pleaded with Rosie who was driving.
"I could if we didn't have about sixty people in the car." She snapped.
"We could always get rid of the man eating zombie in the back?" I suggested.
"Or we could chuck your annoying behind out of that wee door!" Shouted Tyrone.
"Point taken." I withdrew to the backseat where I was at on Taron's knee. So was Mrs Hudson.
"Don't worry dearie, we'll get there eventually." She then offered me a ginger snap.

"BRAKE!!!" Roared Matthew just as Rosie slammed her foot on it.
We skidded along the country lane and hit something.
"OH MY GOD IVE HIT SOMEONE!!!!" Yelled Rosie.
"Don't worry I won't arrest you." Gasped Greg.
"Are guys all ok." Seb looked around in concern.
"Yup." Said Katelyn for under the driver seat.
"Where's John?" I asked.
"We stowed him in the glove box for extra room." Brandon said, not looking up from texting.

Then whatever we hit, smacked the windscreen. I jumped and accidentally hit Taron in the face.
"Oh sorry carrot."
"It's ok."

"Meryl Streep!" Gasped Mycroft.
"She's dead Mike." Scoffed Greg.
"I know that Gregory." Sighed Mycroft. "That is the definition of a zombie."
"Ergh she's a wee ugly bitch." Remarked Tyrone.
"You would be if someone had stuck an axe in your head." I shouted.
"Step on it my dear." Said a panicked Matthew.

But when Rosie went to start the car it wouldn't go.
"Bugger." She shrieked.
"What now?" Quibbled Taron.
"We'll have to kill her." Said Seb, mucking up his hair and getting a knife from his trousers. "Again."

We piled out of the car and got ready to kill. It was thrilling.