Taron and Me Book Two

French stripper.

So here we all were, stood in a bar, wallowing in self pity. We had been since 4 o'clock.
"Another gin?" Katelyn slurred as she stumbled her way to the bar.
"Make that four." I held up five fingers.
"Aye and one for ma massive ego." Tyrone cackled at his joke. As did I once Rosie had explained it to me.

She was more pissed than all of us combined.

After the events at her and Matthew's country estate, Matthew declared he needed space and went off to shoot a film in Nepal. Rosie decided she could not cope with the guilt and went off to find a nunnery. She quickly returned when she was told the word 'DILF' was not an appropriate description of someone.

Katelyn was another matter. One day she came flying into 221b. I happened to be there, politely listening to Tyrone drone on about haircare products.
"I've come to stay for the weekend." She declared. No one knows why.

That was two weeks ago.

I however am the biggest sinner of all the sinners there ever was. I have just cheated on Taron Egerton.

Finan the agile came to give me a lift home from the country estate. I had rung Taron but he was ignoring my calls.
"Hi there." Finan smiled devilishly. As would Katelyn would say: Yummy.
"Thanks for this." I got in and slammed the door, not realising that my hair had caught in the door.
"Are you ok? You seemed upset when you called."
"I'm ok. But my marriage is in bits. So I suppose, no, I'm not ok." I began to sob uncontrollably in his car.
"Oh, oh gosh crying." Finan looked flustered.

We sat for a while, me sobbing and him desperately looking around for something to aid the anguish.
"You know." He eventually said. "Taron may not like you at the moment, but I do." He smiled. Wow, smooth.
"But Taron has every reason to hate me! I'm a traitor." I sobbed again.
"So is he." Finan said.
"But he's not! I phoned Richard (Madden) and he swore nothing happened. He hates me, he'd do anything to spite me so it must be true."
"Oh." Finan shuffled uncomfortably.
"I told him I was sorry!" I used Finan's sleeve to wipe my eyes. "Sorry."
"It's only cashmere."
"Oh, that's ok then." I brushed at the damp patch on his sleeve.

Just then my phone pinged. It was a text from Greg.

Hi, seen this?? BTW, thanks for the heads up about Mike ;)

Greg had sent me a photo from a CCTV camera. Was it legal to spy on people like this? At that moment in time I did not care. The photo showed Taron in a camper van. He was brushing the hair from someone's face. I knew that face. It was his co-star in Katelyn's film. I never brought her up because she seemed irrelevant. She wasn't now. Now she was smiling, staring intensely at MY man.

"What the fuck? How dare he?." I was raging. Finan looked over my shoulder at the photo.
"Damn she's hot." He said. I glared at him. "But totally a bitch, not as hot as you." He said that last bit rather genuinely.
"Oh thanks Finan the Agile." I smiled despite my pain. He laughed. "What?" I said.
"You always use my full title."
"Is that a problem?" I simpered.
"Not to me, I find it quite attractive." Finan blushed.

There was a long pause, then we both began to lean in.
"Argh Bugger!!" I cried, my hand went to my scalp which was now in intense pain. I reached for the car door and yanked my hair free. All the while Finan chuckled.
"It's not funny!" But I too saw it as amusing.

This should have been my warning. I should have seen this as a sign to stop. But no, emotional Mollie decided to be a pleb and pick up where I left off.

Sigh.

Finan put a hand to my head and slowly moved in. I sped the process up and went for a passionate snog. Thinking back, my main focus was his muscular frame. I envisioned someone trying to body slam him to the ground but instead crumpling on his wash board abs. Nice.

I won't go into anymore detail but I can most definitely say that our clothes stayed on. My apologies to all the erotic book fans out there. Yes I am taking to you Katelyn.

"Ya wee saucy minx." Tyrone giggled as I told the fateful tale at the bar.
"I am taking about your nephew." I reminded him.
"Aye but it sounds as though he's just as fruitful." Tyrone nudged me.
"What did you say this bar was called?" Katelyn quizzed us when she came back with another gin.
"Whips and Woah's." Said Tyrone, about to eat the lime from his drink.
"Oooo kInkY." Slurred Rosie. She was alternating between laughter and sobbing. I knew the feeling.
"Aye well I have brought us to a wee strip club." Tyrone smirked.
"WHAT!!" I cried.

Before anyone else could speak a man skirted over to us. He was dressed as a cowboy.
"NO." Shrieked Rosie. "You remind me of my husband too much!"
"They all say that." Replied the stripper.
"Ewww." Rosie returned to her sex on the beach.

After he had gone we were approached by many other strippers. One midwife was very disappointed that Tyrone was gay.
Then we were approached by a stripper policeman. I had had rather a lot to drink at this point.
"Wooo lock me up officer." I laughed and threw myself at him.
"It's tempting." His voice was serious, I looked up  at him. Greg.
"Oh sugar, sorry Greg." Embarrassment consumed me.
"We'll if it isn't wee Greg. PC plonker." Tyrone chuckled.
"I came to find you, we need to talk." Greg murmured to Tyrone.
"If ya have something to say, ya can say it to ma wee chums too." He glanced at us. "Aye where's Katelyn?"

I looked around. She had disappeared. Perhaps it was good that fewer people had seen me flirt with Greg.
"There she is." Tyrone pointed to a dark booth in the corner. Katelyn was sat, murmuring intensely at someone. Then all of a sudden she stood up and threw a drink over them. They stood, it was Seb.
"HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY FILM!!!" Katelyn screamed.
"I WAS JUST SAYING IT HAS NO STAR POTENTIAL!!!" Seb shrieked back.
"THAT IS INSULTING IT." Katelyn stormed off to the loo, she took a bottle of vodka with her. Seb stormed out.
"Well nelly that was tense. Come on Greg, let's chat." Tyrone winked and got up to follow him out.

Later Katelyn came back with Tom, why was he there?
"Why are you here?" Asked one of him. My vision was now a blur of Tom Holland's.
"Spidey senses." He replied.
Katelyn and Tom spent a while talking. Me and Rosie spent a while drinking and being depressed.

Later I was washing my hands when I heard people come in. I don't know what possessed me to hide but I did, in one of the cubicles.
"Tom, I'm glad you came to cheer me up." Katelyn said.
"Pleasures all mine." Tom said, probably smiling.
"He's such a rat." Katelyn said angrily. I could almost here the angry peace sign.
"The rattiest." Tom agreed.
"I miss him though, he's not normally like this." Katelyn sighed.
"Look Katelyn I care about you, I can't bare to see you upset like this." Tom said.

Then they kissed, I know this because I opened the cubicle door and saw them.
"I suppose we've made it a hat trick." I said before waking out.

When I got back to the table, Rosie was white as a sheet.
"Look." She passed me her phone.

An east wind has blown, now it's back to obliterate. 🥳🥳🥳
Best wishes,
Evil Flea xxxxx