Clueless [h.s]

[50] Need

It was the end of class and I had ironically bumped into Harry and Niall on my way back home, since we were all heading the same direction we had made an agreement to walk together.

Now that it had been days since Harry and I first saw each other after that short while, he had returned to square one. He would barely even talk to me or anyone else. I had always wondered what went through his mind. What kept him so quiet? So distant? So disconnected?

All the countless nights that I would sleep alone at my apartment were spent longing for Harry's warmth and security. My mind would drift off into endless theories and predictions on what was on Harry's mind all the time and why he was so isolated when all I wanted to do was help him. This would go on repeat for an endless amount of nights until I built enough courage to knock on his door at two in the morning and sleep with him for just that one night. Because sleeping with Harry was as if all your problems and worries were completely wiped away for those few hours of sleep. His arms and legs and draped over mine represented security, it felt as if I could never be hurt just as long as I was wrapped up into Harry's arms. And I had missed that.

I reached out for his hand but he would quickly jerk it away or hold it in his for a few seconds before he let go. He would purposely avoid me and I hope he knew that it was killing me.

"Hey, Harry, are you alright?" Niall asked as he glanced over at Harry, hands shoved deeply into his pockets and eyes staring down at his feet as he walked.

"I'm fine." Harry quickly responded, his tone not very convincing from the way he sounded a bit irritated.

"Are you sure? You've-" Niall continued but Harry rudely cut him off.

"I said I was fine, didn't I?" He snapped, his eyes flickering from his feet to Niall who was slightly shocked from Harry's harsh tone.

"Geez, I was just asking. You don't have to be so rude, bro." Niall deeply sighed, rolling his eyes at Harry's sour attitude.

"Well I said I was fine, didn't I? You don't have to ask so damn much." Harry mumbled as we continued to walk down the streets.

"You don't have to be such a dick. I care about you, you selfless asshole! That's why I asked you if you're alright; because you've been so quiet and you look like shit on a daily basis now." Niall shot back. We had all stopped walking now and I could tell that the tension was slowly rising by the way Harry stared at Niall with absolutely no emotion on his face. "Look bro, you have changed over these past few weeks. You rarely even talk to me and Ariana, you don't talk at all sometimes, you never fucking eat when we go out, you look different, you talk different, you are just so different now and it's worrying me. And by the way Ariana is always so quiet I can tell she is worried too, but you stay isolated and you shut us out!"

Harry heavily sighed and ran his hand over his tired-looking face. "I have a lot on my plate right now, Niall."

"I know you do, and that's why we are trying to help you, but you won't let us in." Niall huffed, arms crossing over his chest as stared at Harry, waiting for his response.

"I have trust issues, I can't talk to people so easily!" Harry raised his voice, arms thrown up into midair like a maniac.

"I know you do, Harry! But come on, Ariana is your girlfriend and I am your best friend! You have to trust us both. After all these years I think I deserve to know what is bothering you." Niall pleaded, eyes full of curiosity of what was bothering Harry. If I knew what was bothering Harry I would have told him by now to shut him up, but unfortunately I didn't know myself.

That's when Harry did something I didn't expect him to do, with one last heavy sigh, he walked past us both and continued his walk back home. Niall flashed me a what-the-hell-is-his-problem-look before he began to run after him. I followed in pursuit and walked quickly behind them both, silently praying that nothing bad would happen between them both.