Clueless [h.s]

[56] Expunge

warning:

this chapter contains mature content as in triggering topics that people may be sensitive to. take this into your own interpretation. I in no way support or condone any of the behavior written in here. if you are not comfortable with reading these kinds of topics, do NOT read ahead. i REPEAT, do NOT read if you are sensitive to these topics because I in no way want to convince any of you that the behavior in this book is alright. I will also not tolerate any negative comments to the choices and thoughts of the characters because everything happens for a reason here. this is just a book, so please respect the characters choices and do not think that I support any of their behavior because I do NOT. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

and one last thing, we have just a few chapters left of clueless and it would mean the absolute world to me if we got this story to at least 50k reads before it ends or before the launching of Reliance :-) so share! share with your friends, your friends friends, your cousins, your dogs/cats, your Instagram followers, your Twitter followers, your tumblr followers, your wattpad readers, all kinds of social media, just share my friends ;) and if you do share please tell me because it would mean the world to me 💓 thank you so much x

AND if you do continue reading, enjoy! and feel my friends, feeeeeeel ;)

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expunge (verb): erase or remove completely.

Ariana.

Three months.

It has now been three months since Harry left me. Those three months had surely seemed to stretch on day by day and seemed like three years.

Every move I made seemed to ache my entire body, muscles, bones, and heart, everything. This has been the longest time Harry and I have not been in contact since the day we met. I had hoped Harry would someday knock on my door or call me but these thoughts were denied because Harry was not coming back until he was sure he was fine, until he was sure he would no longer hurt me. And I was willing to wait for him even if it took him years because my love for him was there, it lingered behind and sizzled through my veins all day long.

Never in my life could I remember feeling like this.

My mind couldn't be distracted from Harry only for a few seconds before the dark clouds came rolling back into my mind. There was nothing I could do to heal the wounds he had inflicted; worst of all, I wasn't sure if I wanted to feel better.

A part of me wanted to revel in the stinging burn of rejection he had left me. Maybe I deserved this pain for never helping him the way I was supposed to. Maybe I deserved losing him because I couldn't fix him while I had him.

With a heavy sigh, I pushed myself off my bed with as much strength I had left in me to walk to the restroom. I pushed the door open and switched the light on before I stared into the mirror and flinched at my reflection. It had been three months since I have really seen myself in the mirror. So I was obviously shocked when the tired looking figure stared back at me.

My eyes were dead and hollow as they stared back at me. My skin was ghostly pale and for a moment I was sure I was hallucinating, I have never seen myself like this before. Dark bags hung underneath them, contrasting shockingly with my pale skin.

My lips, too, were dry and cracked from my lack of facial care. My collarbones protruded further as well, making me look far too skinny and sick. Equally shocking was my hair, it dangled in tangled curls all around my face and stuck to my skin in large clumps. My hair looked the healthiest from my appearance.