Clueless [h.s]

[53] Dark

warning: these next few chapters will have triggering topics that people may be sensitive to. if you are not comfortable reading that kind of stuff I am truly sorry but these next few chapters will be based off those topics. read at your own risk. take this chapter and these next few chapters in your own interpretation because explanation ruins everything.

once again, if you are not comfortable with these triggering topics do not read because it is not any of my intentions to make any of you all upset. take this into your own interpretation and if you do proceed to read...

as always, enjoy xx

Harry.

My feet tapped against the cold hard tiled floor of this damned office I was pulled into the second time this week. My hands rested on my lap but my thumbs played endlessly with the sleeves of my sweater that were hiding my hands. My breathing was uneven and came out in heavy pants, I was actually anxious to what Kissinger had to say to me. I knew she would never scold me or put me into shame for what I am but whenever she would call me in a little earlier than I expected, there was always some sort of curiously set on her features every time she's seen me.

So I stayed put in the uncomfortable spinning chair, silently waiting until Kissinger was ready to see me. I was actually nervous if she would ask me how she was doing, since she was clueless to the things I have done to her. Even thinking about her sent a white-hot spear straight through my being, my chest practically caved in at the thought of her and how bad she is taking my sudden separation from her.

Now that I have finally took action into the decisions I have been thinking about for months, our second separation was definitely not what I was expecting it to be. Ever since the night I showed her how much I loved her, I have not caught a single glimpse at her in between classes or even our ironic encounters in the elevator at our apartment complex. I have not heard her soft voice since that night and that voice was exactly what dragged me into this office.

I could barely hear the door knob rattling because although there was no other noise but my heavy breathing, my thoughts were very loud. My hands ran over my face before I sat up straight and saw Ms.Kissinger walk through the door before shutting it behind her and dropping the smile from her face. She sits down, hunches over her desk, and fixes her eyes on me like I'm a suspect she needs to crack.

"What is bothering you, Styles?" Kissinger asks as her arms crossed over her chest before she leaned back in her chair.

"I-I... nothing." I lied.

"Don't come to me with that bullshit." Kissinger announced. A quiet gasp pushed past my lips at her frustrated tone, I knew she was always determined to crack me and make me spill anything that I had bottled up, but I was never used to the way she would talk to me as if I were her friend rather than her client. "Now, would you rather just tell me or have it bottled up inside you for a few more years?"

The thing I liked about Kissinger is that not only is she predictable, she gets to the point.

I stayed quiet, my ears drowning out her words and harsh tone as my mind came back into the usual clouded and dark thoughts. I was not intentionally ignoring her, my mind just could seem to concentrate on anything anymore. I wanted to talk to Kissinger, I wanted to tell her what happened between Ariana and I because I knew she would listen. I wanted to tell her what I think and what I felt every night, I wanted to tell her about the excessive amount of pills I would take every day; but I couldn't. I could never put myself to tell her these things because she was merely a stranger but I definitely was not a stranger to her. She knew almost everything Ariana knew about me, and that scared me. I would have never thought that a stranger would know so much about me yet I knew nothing about them.