Fifty-five.

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My life had changed ever since I met Katerina Hayes

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My life had changed ever since I met Katerina Hayes. Everything changed. Things about me, the way I saw life, the way I felt about who I was. All of it changed the day I met her. I lived my entire life in the dark, with no intention of stepping into the light. Until her.

It was fucking strange to think of our lives, and everything that happened to us in the space of a few months. It was crazy to think that I loved someone so much. That it was actually humanly possible to love another human being more than you ever thought you could.

My life is dangerous. It's filled with things that make it abnormal. It's filled with all the things that you'd would want to run away from. But not Katerina. She knew it all. And even if she wanted to run, I wouldn't let her. Because I need her more than she needs me.

She could ask me for anything. In that soft, sweet voice of hers. I'll do anything for her. She asks me to build her a castle? How high? Buy a shopping mall? How many? I didn't know a man like me could be controlled. Rather, tamed. But she made it happen.

I was certain when I met her, that I'd do whatever necessary to make her mine. It was a burning desire that I had for her. One that would put the brightest star in the constellation to shame. It was an urge for her that I couldn't explain. And generally, once you satisfy your need for something, the hunger for it dissipates. But this was the exact and polar opposite, because even after sleeping with her, I craved her more than I ever thought fucking possible.

I had grown into her routine. The way she'd welcome me every night when I came back from work in a different colored silk night dress, and the way it'd always end up thrown on the kitchen floor. On the weekends, how she'd made sure we did something new. Last week she took me to a painting class. A Don, sitting in a fucking painting class.

I grew accustomed to looking at her in the mornings as she slept. As the peacefulness took over her body. The way that she radiated it and made sure that everywhere she went, she filled every inch of the room with her welcoming presence. She made everyone feel welcome in our home. Even the fucking gardener was using our downstairs bathroom.

Her hair falls a lot. And I found strands of her long, dark black wisps all over the seats in my car. I remember seeing a strand of her hair on my shirt sleeve when I rammed my fist into someone's face at the bar. It stopped me dead in my tracks, stilled me. Even that, I'd gotten used to. I don't think I can go another day in my life without smelling the perfume she wears on my clothes, in my cars. I've gotten so addicted to her, and to every little thing about her.

Slowly, little by little, Katerina infiltrated my life. She intertwined them, unknowingly of course. And she made it impossible for me to imagine a world that she's not in. A life that she's not in. And anything that she's not part of, isn't something I want to be a part of. Because Katerina became my everything the day I realized I loved her. And whether or not she felt it back, I knew I loved her enough for the both of us.

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