Jennie POV
"I like you."
Shit.
"This is not a good time for jokes, Jisoo."
Silence. Shit.
"I wish I was joking, Jennie," she said wearing a weak smile. Staring at her, words struck me in my chest, my mind raced trying to make sense of the words she just said. Did she really mean what I thought she meant?
I'm waiting for her to take them back, and say that she was just joking, but it never came. The car went silent. I don't know what to say. Jisoo's confession of her feelings caught me completely off guard.
"Told you I'm certain, one hundred percent," she said breaking the silence between us, still focused on the road ahead. Her soft smile did not fade, but her eyes, those kind eyes, glistened with held-back tears.
"I-uh..." I stammered, completely at a loss for words. I didn't see this coming. I tried to find the right words to let her know that my feelings didn't match hers, but the thought of hurting her was making my chest feel so heavy. I can't breathe.
"I-uh, I-I'm sorry," I mumbled, looking down and nervously fiddling with my fingers. Jisoo might have felt my uneasiness, she reached out to caress my head gently, still wearing that fragile smile looking straight ahead. Her touch brought a sense of comfort, but also a pang of guilt.
"I'm sorry..." I whispered again. I don't feel the same way.
Jisoo pulled the car over to the side of the road. "I'd be lying if I'm going say I'm not hurting right now. But then again, you don't need to say sorry for not liking me back. You didn't ask me to like you, Jen..." she said, her voice cracking slightly and her hand now gently caressing my head.
"I just did what you advised me to do." she snickered but there was a hint of sadness to it. "I confessed without expecting anything from her because I knew from the start that she likes my best friend," she continued, looking at me with her tear-filled eyes. My heart aches to see her like this, especially knowing that it's because of me.
"Since when?" I asked. My voice trembled, eyes avoiding hers as I clenched my fists on top of my legs. Please take it back. Please take those words back, Jisoo.
"It started the first time I saw you in the hallway, and then it grew as time went on," she admitted, leaning her head back against her seat. "I tried to ignore it and push these feelings away because I knew it would only complicate our friendship and me with... her."
"I'm sorry... I have no idea that... I never seen you in that way, Jisoo," I whispered, tears welling up in my own eyes.
"Hey... don't be sorry. I know my place," Jisoo said softly reaching my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.
"What can I do to make you feel less hurt?" I asked, tears now freely flowing down my cheeks. I'm used to rejecting people, but this is different - she's a friend who means a lot to me. I don't want to lose her as a friend. Why did I not see this coming? I should've known.
"Nothing..." she muttered. "Forget what I said earlier. Don't change, that's all. I've already accepted it," she sighed heavily with her eyes brimming with unshed tears.
"I'm really sorry, Jisoo. I like you... but not in that way," I sobbed telling her the painful truth. If I could only choose to feel the same, I would. It'd be easier for both of us but I just can't force myself to feel something that isn't there. I clenched my eyes shut, trying to stop the tears, but they seemed endless. It really felt like breaking up with a friend.
"Shhh," she whispered, her thumb gently wiping away my tears. "Don't make this harder for me, Jennie. Please, stop crying. I should be the only one crying here," she said, cupping my face, and chuckling softly.
YOU ARE READING
What if? - Jenlisa
Fanfiction"Rejection is way better than what-ifs Jennie," I said and glance at her. "You need to, try it first at least," she muttered. "You think? Even if I know that it'll hurt me in the process?" I asked chuckling. "There are things better left unsaid" I a...
