What if? - Jenlisa

Chapter 20 - Leap of Faith

Lisa POV

Who's the other girl?

"It's Irene" I plainly said which instantly made her jaw drop.

"For real?" she said with her eyes wide.

I know that she will ask this question, should I avoid this by outsmarting her? Technically, the who's the other girl question is her sixth question if I will count it again but I'm sure that she will ask that again tomorrow, so what's the sense of avoiding it?

"That's your 7th question for today, so it's null and void," I said as I cockily smiled at her. I was planning to tell her but what came out of my mouth is the opposite.

"You're unbelievable," she said shaking her head with a tight smile. I can read it in her eyes, she's disappointed, might be thinking that I don't trust her that much.

"It's not Irene, I'm kidding," I said as I turn to look at the view again and rest my hands on top of the railings. I don't know what's with her, I can't say no to her.

I heard her scoff.

"To tell you honestly, I'm hesitating to tell you the story about her. Those are the days that I'm at my worst." I said as I gripped the top of the railings on her balcony.

"I'm a jerk back then, an asshole, a... bad person," I said and exhaled sharply.

"There is no such thing as a bad person, Lisa," she said as she leaned her back on the railings with both of her elbows on top of it.

"Look, we're all just people who sometimes do bad things. No one is exclusively bad or good. Even villains have their good sides and reasons why they end up being on the other side." she always knows what to say to make me feel good even if I feel bad about myself. She invariably sees the good in me, she sees me.

This is why she's different.

"We'll never know unless we walk in their shoes."

"I'm here ready to wear that shoes of yours. So tell me...who's that girl? What happened? What makes you think you're a bad person?" she said while looking at me with an encouraging smile. The look that comforts me constantly without even touching me.

"Wow, now you're bombarding me with questions, huh" I playfully said.

"I won't force you if you don't want to share it but expect me that I'll ask you that question again," she said as she chuckled.

"I know you would, but yeah, she's our friend. We knew her since grade school."

"Well, she's one of my crying shoulders after Somi passed, until one day something happened between us... you know we crossed the line, I crossed the line." I said and leaned over the railings and let my arms dangle while staring at the horizon.

She scoffs again.

"Let me guess, you felt guilty because you became intimate, so you made her your girlfriend to compromise, am I right?" she said and tucked her hair under her ear as the wind ruffled her hair lightly.

"Exactly, and I used her. I took advantage of the situation thinking that the pain will eventually stop when I'm with her. We were happy at first, I like her but in a different way."

"And I'm not aware that I am draining her, it should be a give and take relationship but what I did is just take, I never give anything in return. I even use sex to escape and then that's it. We call ourselves girlfriends but technically we're just fuck buddies. She loves me, I don't. I just can't. I forgot how to."

Jennie turns around and leans her arms on the railings. "Just like us," she said followed by a deep sigh.

"Hey, excuse me! Have I fuck you? I haven't right? So it's different. We are different, way, way different Jennie! And I don't even think of fucking you," I snapped.