🎶Play Love Die Young by Eric Nam🎶
Lisa POV
It's been two years, yet these relentless questions continue to haunt me.
What if I stayed?
What if that night did not end in an argument?
What if she had never discovered my application to Stanford?
What if she did not go to where I am?
What if I'm with you that night?
I should've stayed...
If I only stayed...
I wouldn't be... blaming myself.
Flashback...
"Lisa," Somi called.
"Yes, love?" I glanced at her with a smile on my lips.
"How long are you going to keep this from me?" Somi held up the acceptance letter from Stanford University.
"What's the point? I won't accept it anyway," I replied, walking towards her.
"Why not? Lisa, this is Stanford we are talking about. Don't miss this opportunity," Somi urged, handing me the letter.
"Love, you know that if I accept, I'll have to be away for years, and I can't bear leaving you here alone," I said, gently caressing her cheek, hoping she'd understand.
"Lisa, this is too much. This is your dream. Don't sacrifice it for me. You need to live your life and make choices for yourself," Somi implored, her eyes welling up with tears.
"It's too late; I've already made up my mind. I won't take it, and I'll stay here," I stated firmly as I returned to my seat.
"You made this decision without me? Did you even consider asking me? I thought we're a team. You're once again making choices based on what's best for me, but what about you?" she asked, pressing her fingers to her temples in frustration.
"Love, aren't you happy that we can continue our college days together?" I asked, furrowing my brow, uneasy about the direction of our conversation.
"Why are you doing this to me? You're putting so much pressure on me," she said, her tears finally falling as she covered her face in anguish.
"I'm pressuring you? What did I do? I'm sorry if I made you feel that way but I don't understand, Somi. I'm staying with you, and you're mad at me?" I sighed, walking back towards her.
"That's precisely my point. You're sacrificing everything for me, giving up nearly everything. Do you ever think about your own happiness? Have you ever made a decision for yourself? Did you even bother to ask me if I'm okay with it?" she said, looking away from me while wiping her tears away.
"Love, we have plans, remember? We've been doing this every year, and Stanford doesn't fit into that," I said, massaging her shoulders, trying to soothe her.
"Lisa, those are my dreams, my plans. What about yours?" she countered, shrugging my hands off her shoulders.
"Somi, you're my dream, my happiness, my life. My plan is to be with you every step of the way," I said, sincerity lacing my words as I held her gently by the sides, turning her to face me.
"I can't do this anymore, Lisa. This is too much," she said, making my heart race with anxiety but I quickly shook it off.
"That's a bad joke, Love," I forced a chuckle and wrapped my arms around her, tight. "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like I was pressuring you or sacrificing my dreams for you. I am not going to Stanford because I don't want to, not because I feel obligated to stay with you."
YOU ARE READING
What if? - Jenlisa
Fanfiction"Rejection is way better than what-ifs Jennie," I said and glance at her. "You need to, try it first at least," she muttered. "You think? Even if I know that it'll hurt me in the process?" I asked chuckling. "There are things better left unsaid" I a...
