Rosie POV
She passed out. Finally!
I lie to my side facing her with my head leaning on my hand. Trying my hardest not to touch her face, her skin, or her disheveled hair. I watch her chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm. I have The Sleeping Beauty sleeping peacefully right beside me with her cute and soft snore.
"You really love her, don't you?" I whispered while staring at her.
"Alright, just the hair." Then I gently tuck her hair under her ear.
Sigh. You're a mess, do you know that? Tss.
"You had your chance but you let her slip. If you just let her know earlier than Lisa, you could've won her heart. Because why not?"
"You're a catch, you know? But not mine to catch tho."
"Okay, I know you will not remember this tomorrow, because look at you. You're snoring like a cute little girl who fell asleep from crying."
"You got me there earlier, caught me right from my mouth," I said as I lay beside her staring straight at the ceiling.
"And damn, you are unbelievably persistent," I chuckle as if I'm talking to her. Well yeah, I am. The thing is she can't reply, since she's in sort of a whisky coma right now.
"But thank you, for all the things you've said earlier. That means a lot to me."
Sigh
"Why am I even doing this? You should hear all that I'm saying right now but I know that you will just push further and I'm not ready for that kind of conversation, yet. I hope you understand." I said and glanced at her. I placed my hand on top of my belly and intertwined them while fidgeting my thumbs contemplating if I'm going to say it.
"Three years, it's been 3 years. I tried to play around, you know? Especially when you're around, that's my easiest way of hiding this from you, from them." And I ended up saying it. So I continue, this won't make any harm anyway, she's sound asleep.
"It was hard at first but I found my way to get the hang of it. And it gets easy as time passes by, we don't have any reason to talk about Somi and Lisa because of what happened 2 years ago, so we kinda chose our paths to be somehow apart. You let me do my thing to Lisa while you do yours with her."
"And it's flowing smoothly. I thought that I finally got over it until I found you crying over her."
Sigh
"In an instant, I'm back to square one. I still care, damn it. What can I do? You're stuck in here." I lie again to my side to face her and pointed my finger at my chest.
"I want to hate you for doing this, but it's not even your fault. And I can't just push you away while feeling that way. I just... can't. I don't have the strength to be away from you in times like this."
"I know you so well, in their eyes you are the strong one, that's why you're not allowing them to see you vulnerable. You are helping to fix them and almost forget about fixing yourself. You're not being fair, do you know that? Stupid, coward, stubborn asshole!"
"Well, I guess we're the same. Coward."
"I don't want to hide this, I know you guys can accept and welcome me with flying colors."
"But..."
"... I don't know if I can accept me. I don't know if I will be able to handle it well."
"No, it's more on... how are the other people..."
YOU ARE READING
What if? - Jenlisa
Fanfiction"Rejection is way better than what-ifs Jennie," I said and glance at her. "You need to, try it first at least," she muttered. "You think? Even if I know that it'll hurt me in the process?" I asked chuckling. "There are things better left unsaid" I a...
