𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗠𝗢𝗗𝗘 | 𝗡𝗖𝗧 𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠

Self-Harm | Dream Reaction #1 (maknae line)

Reaction: When they find out their gf self-harms (maknae line)

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Mention of mental health issues, self-harm, dark thoughts

Word Count: 2396

Author's Note: Surprisingly, I finished the part for the maknae-line today. These were a lot more emotional than I had envisioned them to be. I want to warn you that the stories I wrote for Jaemin and Jisung are particularly dark. Please don't read this if you feel uncomfortable. Thank you for the support I got from my previous post!

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JAEMIN

He didn't know for a long time. The boy had been so distracted by his adoration with you. So when he finally found out you were intentionally hurting yourself...he was devastated.

Jaemin happened to be walking by the bathroom when he heard someone crying. Immediately he was concerned when he recognized that it was you. He felt a lump in his throat as your heartbroken sobs flooded his ears. Not wanting to alarm you by abruptly barging in, Jaemin cautiously knocked on the door.

"(Y/n)-ah." Only your name left his lips, unsure of what the appropriate thing was to say. He didn't want to ask you if you were okay when it was clear that you weren't.

The crying stopped in an instant. A stifling silence filled the void. Only when Jaemin pressed his ear to the door did he hear your panicked breaths. Hesitantly, he placed a hand on the doorknob.

"Jagiya. I'm going to come in, okay?"

He paused for a few seconds, before proceeding to open the bathroom door. His eyes widened when he saw you, sitting against the wall with a razor blade. The shiny knife was clean. But there were dark red splotches that covered your left hand.

His eyes met your watery ones with a faint redness below the lashline. Jaemin could recall one other time when he had seen you cry. It had been when he had given you a custom-made photo album with all the photos he had taken of you and him together. You tried to hold it in. But as you continued to look through the pages filled with photos and cute notes here and there, tears slowly streamed down your cheeks.

Though the situation was different from now, Jaemin still couldn't help but think that you looked beautiful even when crying. It probably wasn't the best thought to have, and he certainly hated seeing you cry just as much as he admired it. But it was a rare show of emotion that you chose to show to him. With that in mind, he remembered falling for you harder.

Once Jaemin saw what was going on, he calmly took out the first aid kit and sat down in front of you to clean your self-inflicted wounds. You watched him with an empty gaze. More than anything, you hated that Jaemin had to see you at your worst. But you were too tired and broken to fight back or say anything.

He gently placed your arm on his lap after he had finished bandaging it. With a sigh, he looked at you once again.

"How long?"

Avoiding his gaze you replied, "Since before we met."

"Can you..." Jaemin struggled with his words, "Can you please tell me why?"

It took you a few minutes to gather yourself together, and determine whether being honest was the best decision. Of course, you should. You hid such a terrible secret from your boyfriend, who you've been dating for almost a year now. He deserved to know the reason.

"It's not because of you," You spoke quietly. You needed to make sure he understood that before you said anything else.

Slowly, you explained to him your history with self-harm, and how you became like this. The fact that you were telling him all this left an unsettling feeling of terror in your stomach. But Jaemin listened patiently and carefully throughout the whole thing.