𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗠𝗢𝗗𝗘 | 𝗡𝗖𝗧 𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠

Relapse | Jeno Imagine #6

Title: Relapse

Genre: Angst, slight fluff

Warnings: mentions of self-harm and anxiety!

Word Count: 640

Author's Note: So uh I may not have gone a little crazy recently. And I kind of just wrote this on the fly. I'm not trying to encourage hurting yourself, seriously, don't do it. But I find myself being comforted when I imagine people like Jeno being there for me during difficult times. Though I wrote this mostly for my comfort, I hope those who might also be having a hard time can feel better. Hang in there!

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °𐐪𐑂 ♡

 𐐪𐑂He was coming out of the shower after a long dance practice when he pulled out his phone to text you. Checking up on you at least once a day became a part of his daily routine. Though you often said he didn't need to with a pout, Jeno knew you secretly appreciate this gesture of his.

You usually texted him back right away. The more time passed without a response from you left Jeno uneasy. Maybe he was overreacting. But he thought there wasn't any harm in going to your place to make sure you were okay.

All the lights were turned off in your apartment when he let himself in. Your shoes were at the doorstep though, so you had to be home. As he neared the hallway, he could hear shallow breaths from your bedroom.

Jeno peeked through the doorway and saw you sitting at your desk, head in your hands. Every part of your body was trembling. You looked as if you could shatter in mere seconds.

Despite feeling slightly afraid, Jeno stepped into the room and slowly approached your withdrawn figure. The dim light from your desk lamp allowed him to see the razor blade lying on the desk. His eyes fell on your red hand and the several lines on your arms that dripped with fresh blood.

"(Y/n)-ah," He said softly, praying for his voice not to break when doing so.

When you glanced up to see him, new tears of guilt and frustration spilled from your eyes. You heard a sad sigh before a pair of arms wrapped securely around you. He rested his chin on your head as he gently rubbed your back.

"I'm—I'm sorry Jeno-ssi," You sobbed into his hoodie. Hating yourself for letting him see you like this.

"It's okay. You're okay," he murmured into your hair.

Four months. Four months have passed since you resorted to self-harm. You were doing so well. You were handling your anxiety with Jeno's help. You were smiling more and trying to enjoy life. But it only took one thing to bring you back down to the place you were before.

Once you calmed down a bit, Jeno would bring you to the bathroom to take care of your cuts. Tears couldn't help but prick his eyes as he cleaned the blood off your arm.

Jeno has witnessed you in this state many times. Though it's been a while since you've had a mental breakdown, seeing you like this still broke him.

"I'm sorry for not coming sooner," He'd say with a heavy heart.

You stared at him for a moment before cupping the side of his face in your hand.

"I should be the one apologizing. For disappointing you."

The boy shook his head. "I'm not disappointed. I—just wish you had told me you were having a hard time before..."

Your mouth opened to say something, but Jeno closed it with a short kiss.

"Enough with saying sorry. We're going to lay down and you can talk to me if you want," He said affirmatively. "I'll be here to listen whenever you're ready."

And that's exactly what you did. Jeno held you close to him the entire night, repeatedly saying how much he loved you. He may not be able to get rid of the monsters that terrorized you. But he could fight them with you. No matter how many times the dark thoughts got the best of you, he would be there to remind you of how precious you were.

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂