Regret | Mark Imagine #1

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Title: Regret

Genre: Angst (with a happy ending though)

Warnings: Mentions of arguing, and depression

Word Count: 1231k

Author's Note: This was also a request from my Tumblr blog. I've really been wanting to write more imagines for the Dream members. So I am grateful for this opportunity! Just a side note, it was a little hard at first for me to visualize Mark reacting impulsively. He's such a sweet and considerate person. I still hope this was okay. Thank you for reading ^-^

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Lately, the company was just not giving Mark a break. His schedules were so tightly packed with rehearsals, interviews, recordings, and stages. As a result, he's been quite stressed because of it all. He was so busy that he had to cancel dates with you, and hasn't been able to answer your texts.

It wasn't like you texted him 24/7, just to occasionally check up on him. You never took it too personally if he left you on read, knowing he was probably occupied with work. But one day, Jaehyun asked if you could come to the company building. He said that Mark's been overworking himself, and was concerned for his mental health.

You were in your apartment, studying late in the evening when his member called. But you didn't hesitate to leave your things to go see your boyfriend. Since most restaurants were closed, you stopped by the convenience store to get some snacks and drinks for the guys.

By the time you got to the practice room, the group was just finishing up the dance routine to the song that was playing. Immediately you were overwhelmed when the members came over to greet you. They were especially pleased when you didn't come empty-handed.

"Wah, that's so kind of you (Y/n)-ah. Thank you!" Taeyong exclaimed and took the grocery bags for you.

You smiled and turned to find Mark. He barely acknowledged you when he came over. But you chose to brush it off, taking it as him just being tired from practice. However, his behavior didn't change as time passed on. You tried to catch his eyes now and then, as the guys conversed with each other. After a while, you worked up the courage to say something to him.

You gently nudged his knee. "Babe, are you alright? You haven't eaten anything."

"I'm not hungry," Mark muttered, causing you to feel only more worried.

He never responded to you so coldly before. Still not wanting to give up so fast, you picked up one of the snacks and reached for him to take it.

"Are you sure? I got the chips you liked—" You started to say before Mark slammed the chip bag down on the floor. His actions caused you to flinch and gained attention from the other members.

He sighed in frustration, "Can you just stop? Seriously, just because I've been busy, it doesn't mean you can just come in during our dance practices like this. You don't need to be so clingy."

The room fell silent, as they stared at the boy in slight shock. Surely none of them, including you, had expected him to lash out like this. Immediately you felt a lump in the back of your throat. You were both hurt by his words and embarrassed that this had to happen in front of his members.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you felt that way," You mumbled, slowly getting up on your feet.

Quickly realizing what he just said, Mark and some of the other members called your name as you left. But you couldn't look back, too afraid to let them see you cry. You never expected Mark to speak so harshly toward you. Usually, he was so sweet and gentle with his words.

His words kept replaying through your head, during the bus ride and when you returned home. Maybe you were clingy and didn't notice until now. Regardless, Mark was clearly annoyed by you. You laid in your bed, angrily wiping away the tears that continued to fall.

Mark had accidentally brought you back down into a spiral of dark thoughts and insecurities. It's been a long time since you've had a depressive episode, and you've nearly forgotten what it was like. But from experience, you knew this was only the beginning of a breakdown.

~ ~ ~

"Dude, that wasn't okay," Johnny called him out. He was the first one to speak up after you had left. Mark had his head in his hands, hating himself.

"I know Hyung, I messed up."

This was now he had wanted things to go. He had been trying to keep all his feelings to himself, though he knew he could withstand his stress for only so long. Truly, he hadn't meant to take his frustrations out on you.

Mark texted you and tried calling, but you didn't pick up. Sighing to himself, he decided to let it go for now. Maybe you were asleep and would respond tomorrow. But you didn't reply the next day or the day after that.

As the days passed by, Mark felt more anxious. He could tell you were distancing yourself away from him. You guys rarely fought, so he wasn't sure what to do. The members had never seen the rapper in such a gloomy mood. They were concerned for both of you.

"I just saw (Y/n) at the store," said Haechan one day.

Mark sprang up from his seat, "Really? Did she say anything to you?"

"Nothing much. But she didn't look too good, Hyung." The maknae went to sit beside him. "It's been a week already. You should talk to her."

"I don't know, Haechan-ah." Mark started to shake his head. "I don't want to hurt her more than I already have."

Haechan sighed, "Just apologize to her. You need her right now, and she needs you."

After some contemplating, Mark decided to go see you as Haechan suggested. When you went to answer the door, he quickly noticed the change in you. You looked as if you hadn't slept in days, and appeared to have lost some weight too. Mark hated to see you like this, knowing he was the cause.

"Mark? What are you doing here?" You asked. He nearly broke down, when he heard how weak your voice sounded.

Trying to hold himself together, "(Y/n)-ah, can we talk?"

He saw the brief hesitation in your expression before you stepped away from the door.

"Come in."

The two of you awkwardly settled in the living room. You had grabbed a yellow cat plushie that Mark had won for you at an arcade. You held the stuffed animal close, unsure of what to expect.

Just apologize to her, Mark remembered Haechan's words. That was what he needed to start with.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, (Y/n)-ah," He breathed. "I didn't mean what I said to you the other day. I was just tired and wasn't thinking properly."

A small smile formed on your lips as you shook your head. "No, I understand. You've been so stressed with work. I can hardly blame you for getting upset."

"But that doesn't excuse how I treated you," Mark said. "You've been nothing but supportive and understanding. While I've only caused you pain."

He hung his head low, afraid to make eye contact with you. He was taken aback when you placed your hand on top of his.

"I forgive you, Mark," You spoke softly. "Just try not to bottle all your stress anymore. I'm your girlfriend for a reason, you know."

"I know. I'll come to you from now on, I promise."

Your heart broke when you saw the tears in his eyes. You didn't have a second thought before engulfing the boy in a much-needed embrace. Mark smiled, as your chin rested on his shoulder. He missed this.

You felt him place a kiss on your temple before he held you closer and whispered,

"We're going to be okay."

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