Secret Love (Carisi/Rollins Fanfiction)

Chapter 11

"You need sleep, Carisi." Benson pipes in, seeing Carisi lying on the seat with his eyes closed
"I won't sleep until Amanda is safe."
"It's an order. Go to sleep while we three find where she is."
"Yes, Sarge." He closes his eyes and Amanda haunts his closed eyes. Once he opens them, she'll be with him, happily smiling and knowing nothing ever happened. Sleep takes him over slowly, his eyelids growing heavy.

A few hours later, he's being shaken awake by Fin.
"Get up, sleepy. We found the place Amanda is being held." Sonny jumps up and out of the car.
"Get in there. Look for her." He runs inside.
"Help!" He hears screams coming from downstairs.
"Downstairs! Move." Benson orders everyone. Sonny closes his eyes and points his gun towards the door. Someone comes after him and busts it open. He's holding her to a mattress. She's dressed in torn jeans and a white, ripped bra, glass sticking out of her back and sides.
"Let her go. He grips his gun in fear, and soon opens his eyes.
"Don't move." The man says, holding chains binding Amanda. "Every move you make, she gets squeezed tighter." He points his gun at the man.
"Shoot me! I dare you goddammit! Shoot me." Sonny's palms start to sweat. He could never shoot anyone else. He closes his eyes and hears gunfire behind him. He feels a body drop to the ground. They all run over to Amanda. Her face is battered, and she is covered in blood. They all take her out of the chains.
"Can you walk?" She shakes her head. He takes off his Police jacket and puts it on her, and picks her up gently
"You're safe now. You're safe." She wraps her arms around his neck.
"I thought you'd never come."
"Of course we'd come." She sighs and closes her eyes. Sonny notices bruises on her ribs and sides.
"How'd you get the bruises?" He asks.
"Boot stomping." Sonny shivers. How could anyone do that to his perfect girl? He gets in the car gently, taking caution of Amanda.
"Take me home." They drive back off to Brooklyn. Sonny looks down at Amanda, lying quietly in his lap.
"You're safe now, my love."
"Rollins, your apartment." She gets up.
"Sonny, come with me."
"Amanda, you know I can't-"
"Carisi," Benson pipes in. "She needs you." He gets out of the car with her, softly picking her up off of the ground. He remembers when she first told him she was assaulted. The way her alluring blue eyes showed the pain she was in. Right now reminded him of that time. He lies her down on her bed.
"My back hurts." She says, rolling over.
"You still have glass in it, don't you?" She moans in pain, as Sonny gently pulls glass out of her back and sides. He sits her back up, gently setting the glass aside. She runs her tongue along dry lips. Sonny looks into her eyes once again, and sees frustration and anger instead of pain.
"Are you okay?" He asks her.
"Do I look like I'm okay?" She runs her fingers through matted hair. He sighs and pulls her into a tight embrace. Amanda breaks out of his arms.
"I'm sorry, Sonny. I really am. It was my fault."
"You think your rape was your fault?" She nods. "I led him on and I feel like a slut." Tears roll down her battered face. He holds her head in his hands.
"Did he make you think that way?"
"Maybe. I'm still trying to figure it out." He rubs his thumbs along her soft cheeks.
"Your rape wasn't your fault. He may have told you that you were a slut, but never believe him. You were assaulted once and you definitely wouldn't do it again on purpose."
"I remember when I was assaulted the first time I tried to commit suicide. Maybe I should do that, it would end the agony I'm in." She looks out the window, distraught. Sonny's heart beats loud.
"W-why would you do that?"
"I'm hurting, Sonny. Can't you tell?" She hisses at him. He pulls her into his chest.
"Shh, I can tell. It's painful for me to watch you hurt." She climbs into his lap and gently rests her head against his chest. He closes his eyes. He'd kill to redo this whole week, and never leave her alone. She wouldn't be as hurt now if he hadn't.
"Maybe it is my fault." He whispers to himself.
"Why would it be your fault?" Amanda sympathetically says.
"I left you alone. I should have waited for you."
"I wish we could redo this whole week." Amanda says.
"Me too." Sonny agrees.