Secret Love (Carisi/Rollins Fanfiction)

Chapter 29

Sonny walks into Amanda's apartment after a hard day at work. A warm, inviting smell trickles to his nostrils.
"Hello, my love." He says, walking in and wrapping his arms around Amanda.
"Hello. How was work?" She asks, turning around from the pot she stands over.
"It was a hard day." Amanda nods. "Everyone is a bit shaken up without you in the squad."
"Well there's no way I'm getting my job back." Sonny quirks an eyebrow and walks away from her.
"Sonny!" She squeals with excitement.
"Okay, fine. I talked to Liv about getting your job back after your twelve weeks of therapy." Her eyes light up with excitement.
"What are you making?" He asks, taking another whiff of the incredible smell.
"Chicken dumpling soup. I know how much you love it on a cold day." She takes the pot off of the stove and pours it into two bowls. They both sit down. She plays with it for a bit before putting her spoon down.
"Amanda," she looks up. "Whats going on?"
"Oh. Nothing." She picks up her spoon again and brings it to her mouth, eating the soup fast so she can get away from the table.
"Are you ready for your therapy tomorrow morning?" He asks her. A tear drips down her cheek and she stands up suddenly and walks to her room. Sonny follows her.
"I know it's going to be hard, Amanda." She leans up against the side of her bed, letting the tears take her. He sits next to her.
"I can't tell someone about my assault. I can't." She says, putting her head gently on his shoulder.
"It will help you." She rolls her eyes.
"I don't need help." She says quietly.
"You sold drugs to get home. You do need help."
"Stop reminding me." She stands up again and walks to the kitchen, clearing out all of the dishes.
"I'm going to sleep." She says, walking away from Sonny.
"Goodnight." He says, standing there in the kitchen.
"Come with me, silly." She says, holding out her hand. He strips off his jacket and dress shirt for the day, and climbs into bed with Amanda.
"Tomorrow may be hard. Yes. But I'll be there with you every single step of the way. Understood?" He asks her. She rolls over onto his warm chest.
"I understand. Goodnight."

She's shaken awake by Sonny the next morning.
"It's time for your therapy." She groans and rolls over.
"Amanda, you need to do this. It'll benefit you." She gets up as Sonny leaves. She puts on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt.
"Let's go." The drive to the therapist is eerily quiet. They pull up, the frigid New York air hitting them as soon as they get out of the car. They walk in, hand-in-hand." They're greeted warmly.
"You must be Amanda. I'm Jessica, I'll be helping you out for the next twelve weeks." She tenses up and holds tighter to Sonny's hand. "You can trust me, dear. I promise I won't hurt you. When you're ready, meet me in that office right over there." She leaves them alone.
"I can take it from here, Sonny." She says to him, releasing his hand.
"Are you sure?" She nods.
"I can trust Jessica."
"That's my girl. See you in an hour." She smiles and walks to the office, once again feeling the nervousness and anxiety. She sits down on a chair.
"I heard about your assault. I know it can be hard." Amanda nods.
"We'll just jump right off the deep end with this one. I'm going to try this technique of easing pain of sexual assault called EMDR. Are you familiar?" Jessica asks kindly.
"Yes. We sit in on a lot of rape victims having it done."
"Perfect. Sit up straight for me, please." Amanda starts the therapy, and soon temporarily forgets about how depressed and anxious she was.
"You're done. You might feel tired for a few hours. But it will wear off. See you next week!" She walks out to Sonny.
"How was it?"
"Easier than I thought it would be." Sonny smiles as they both get in the car to drive home.
"The whole squad is meeting for lunch in thirty minutes, do you want to go?" She nods as they drive back to Amanda's apartment. She throws on a trench coat and mittens.
"Lets go." Sonny smiles as he drives her to the restaurant they're meeting. They walk in and they all watch Sonny and Amanda with hopeful eyes.
"Carisi, you said there was something important you had to ask one of us?" Liv says, intrigued, but seeming like she knows something Amanda doesn't. He nods.
"Amanda. I know your life has been tough. You told me I'm your only clarity once. And I'm glad to forever be your clarity, even though we've had a fight or two. I love you, and I want you to be mine forever." He kneels down and pulls a box out of his pocket.
"Amanda Rollins, will you marry me?"