Secret Love (Carisi/Rollins Fanfiction)

Chapter 31

Sonny sits on those apartment stairs, holding Amanda in his arms, feeling her tremble.
"I'm such a terrible person. Terrible." She says, sighing and trying to distance herself from him.
"You're not a terrible person. Not at all."
"I sold drugs, almost shot you-" he reaches over and turns her towards him. He gently strokes her cheeks.
"I know it's been a long and hard journey for you."
"I don't need to hear this again." She stands up, holds her gun in her hand, and walks the rest of the way up towards her apartment. She fumbles with the key in her bare, numb hands. Sonny comes up behind her and takes the key.
"I can help you, Amanda." She sighs and gives in.
"Fine." He opens the door and sits down on the couch.
"I know you've had some times of trouble. I would say it's going to get easier, but I know even if it doesn't, you'll be pushing through it with that stunning smile. No matter what you do, I'll always love you, unconditionally."
"You loved me even when you totally just dumped me and left me to die?"
"That was a rough patch. You know that I'll do any and everything for you." Her door is cracked open. Liv pops in.
"Sonny, you said you needed to talk." He nods. Amanda watches him walk out, and then quietly goes to rest her ear against the door.
"You need to help her." Sonny desperately says.
"There's nothing we can do."
"Please, Sarge. Please." Liv sighs.
"I'll try my best." Amanda smiles to herself. "The squad and I need to talk to Amanda." She runs back to the couch as the door is opened. They all file in.
"What?" Amanda asks.
"I know you're a victim, and I know you've had some complications. But that doesn't make up for what you've done." Amanda's heart drops. "You've lost my trust, Amanda." Liv walks out, obviously pained at what she just said. Amanda looks over at Nick. "And you, Carisi, if you choose to continue trusting her, you can say goodbye to your job." Nick nods and follows Liv. She finally looks at Fin, tears in her eyes.
"You were such a great detective. But you've lost my trust too." He shakes his head in shame and follows the other two. She turns her head towards Sonny.
"Your job is more important. You've never trusted me anyway." He sits down across from her and takes her hands.
"I've trusted you through everything. And I know that this isn't the Amanda that I know." She looks into his eyes. "The Amanda I know is still in there, beneath all of this untrustworthiness." She nods. "And I'll have to go with my instincts and put my full trust in you until that old, beautiful Amanda is back with me."