Secret Love (Carisi/Rollins Fanfiction)

Chapter 20

Amanda groggily opens her eyes, lying in Sonny's arms. She swallows, her tongue swollen in her mouth and her throat dry. She looks up to see Sonny's dark ceiling and his worried face.
"S-Sonny?" She stutters.
"Amanda!" He strokes her cheeks.
"I can't move-" he pulls her up to sit in his lap. Her head falls onto his shoulder. He rests his head against her cheek.
"Liv and the squad on their way. Just keep calm." She starts to breathe heavily and tears spill from her eyes. She closes her eyes and rests. She soon hears banging on the door.
"Sonny-"
"It's unlocked." They come through with medical services.
Amanda starts to tremble.
"I hate hospitals. I refuse to go to one." Sonny lifts her up and puts her on the gurney. "Sonny, don't leave me-"
"I'll be with you the whole time." They take her out to the ambulance, Sonny following close behind in a wheelchair. She's hoisted up into the large vehicle and tied down. Sonny sits next to her.
"We'll be following." Olivia says as they shut the door. She starts to shake again, and Sonny reaches over for her hand. He grasps it firmly and lightly strokes her hand with his thumb.
"You'll be okay." The vehicle comes to a stop and the doors are opened, with the awaiting squad outside. She's wheeled out into the hospital, and put in a room immediately. They all sit down with her in the room. A doctor comes in.
"We don't know if we want to officially admit her as a psychiatric patient or a normal hospital patient." Amanda feels a tear fall down her face. "We're thinking of holding back psychiatry." They all nod as the doctor leaves.
"Rollins? What made you-"
"I did it, sarge. It was my fault." Sonny says,
"Sonny, don't take the blame." Amanda says.
"I said to leave me alone while I was depressed. You got upset and I didn't expect it to end like this."
"You were sexually assaulted, Sonny. You had a reason to be depressed-"
"So were you. I should have done something to help you."
"I was fine." Amanda grumbles.
"Obviously not." Fin pipes in. She starts to regain feeling in her arms and hands.
"Come here, Sonny." He's wheeled over to her and she hugs him. "I think we both need this." He hugs her back. They break away and he kisses her gently.
"Never do that again. Ever."
"I won't. It was a dumb mistake."
"Well, it's three in the morning, work awaits us all tomorrow. Thanks for calling me, Carisi." Liv says. He nods.
"You need sleep, Sonny. Go back home."
"You'll be fine without me?" She nods. He's wheeled out. Amanda's eyelids grow heavy and she falls asleep within minutes.

She's awaken by her door opening. It's the squad.
"Sonny said he had something important to tell us. So we're here." She nods as Sonny comes in. They all take a seat.
"I've loved working here more than anything. But I've decided to leave Manhattan SVU and move back to Staten Island." They all start asking questions and yelling statements.
"Why, Sonny?" Liv asks.
"Since I've been kidnapped and sexually assaulted, having it happen to me, I can't handle seeing it happen to others."
"Sonny, you can't leave." Amanda says.
"I have to. I'm too hurt to continue, emotionally and physically. I know you all will be great without me."
"Sonny!" He turns around to face Amanda.
"If you leave, does that mean we can't be in a relationship anymore?" She asks, somewhat afraid of the answer.
"I'm afraid so. Staten Island is so far from Manhattan, it would be easier on us both." Amanda's heart shatters into a million pieces.
"Please stay. I can't live without you-"
"You'll have to learn. Be the Amanda Rollins that was afraid to love me at first. Be as strong and independent as that Amanda Rollins."