Secret Love (Carisi/Rollins Fanfiction)

Chapter 23

After Amanda regains herself, she dials Olivia.
"Hey Sarge. Sorry to bother you so late."
"It's alright, what do you need?"
"Someone to talk to. I was hoping you'd listen."
"Of course. I could listen through the phone or-"
"Can you come over to my apartment? I need support."
"Definitely. Be there soon." Amanda puts her laptop and phone down on the table next to her, and looks down at Frannie.
"Men suck." She laughs to herself. There is a knock on the door.
"It's unlocked." Benson walks in.
"You look so miserable. What happened?"
"Sonny video chatted with me."
"I'm guessing things didn't go too well?" Liv asks sympathetically.
"Not at all."
"What happened?"
"We yelled at each other, we talked about running away from our problems." She closes her eyes to pull herself together. "And another woman walked in."
"Amanda, I'm so sorry."
"That wasn't even the worst part. He said he met and started dating the woman when he moved to Manhattan."
"So he cheated on her, with you?" Amanda wipes away a tear from her eye.
"Yes. And when he told me that I was the only reason he was living-" she puts her head into her hands.
"Amanda, breakups can be hard. He has no reason to be upset with you."
"I called his girlfriend a bitch."
"They're probably arguing right now too. Do you want him again? She asks.
"I do. But I hate myself for it."
"Call him and talk."
"He said it was over. But I just want him to hold me and tell me everything is going to be fine."
"Tell him that. I'll be right here." She opens up her laptop and calls him, but he doesn't answer.
"He's probably asleep. It's one in the morning."
"You should be sleeping too, Amanda."
"Thanks for coming to talk to me, Sarge. See you at work tomorrow."
"Take tomorrow off. You need time to recover." She nods and gets a blanket from the side of the couch.
"Goodnight Ms Frannie." She closes her eyes and tries to fall asleep, but Sonny's words haunt her. She rolls around on the couch a little bit before getting dizzy. A cold sweat drips down her forehead. She hears a faint knocking on the door. She stands up shakily to go answer it. She opens the door and sees Sonny standing in the doorway. Tears fall down her cheeks almost immediately. He sighs and steps in, closing the door behind him. He pulls her into a passionate hug. She cries into his shoulder. Sonny walks them over to the couch and they both sit down, tears of Amanda's still falling. He puts his arm around Amanda's body, and she puts her head on his shoulder.
"What compelled you to come back?"
"Liv called me. She said you were a mess and she wanted me to video chat you. But I decided to come in person." "I don't want to get hurt anymore by you." She stands up and wipes tears off of her face.
"I know you had a hard time letting me go. I know I acted like an asshole on Skype." She sits down again. "I didn't start dating that bitch when I moved to Manhattan-"
"Oh, so you lied to me, Sonny?!" Amanda bursts out.
"Yes, Amanda. I did. But it was for a good reason." Sonny says.
"What would that be?"
"I wanted to get you to hate me so that you wouldn't miss me as much while I was gone. I figured if you didn't want to be around me," he pauses. "I wouldn't have to deal with the heartache I had from losing you." Amanda feels like she almost has to give in to loving him again. He offers Amanda his hand, and she almost willingly takes it.
"Being with you, I found out what true love felt like. I felt whole for once." Sonny looks her in the eyes, his big, beautiful eyes staring straight into hers. And they start to kiss. Slowly at first, but slowly building up the passion and love that was present before he left. In that moment, Amanda found herself falling head-0ver-heels for Sonny Carisi once again.