Secret Love (Carisi/Rollins Fanfiction)

Chapter 32

Amanda sits in her therapist's room, quietly playing with her fingers. Her therapist is talking to Sonny. She can faintly hear them.
"I can't prescribe her to anything. Nothing would help at this point." Amanda sighs. She hears Sonny talk softly.
"Do you need help too? I can definitely help you too without her knowing." She strains to hear.
"She can know. I'm just facing a really big decision right now and it's weighing down on my shoulders and depressing me."
"Who's making you depressed?" Sonny starts to whisper, so she blocks out the rest of their conversation. Amanda opens up her jacket to her concealed gun. Her therapist opens up the door.
"See you next week. Call me if you need anything." She nods and runs out of there.
"Where do you want to go?" He asks.
"My apartment. I need to talk to you." They drive in silence, and soon pull up to her apartment. She lets them both in and they sit down.
"I heard what you said. I need you to talk to me. I can help you." He sighs.
"I don't know, nothing's really wrong-"
"Sonny, please. Now isn't the time to lock up and tell me that nothing's wrong. He sighs again.
"I'm angry and upset and just want you to feel better."
"We're not worried about me. You're who we're worrying about. Who made you feel less than absolutely perfect?" He closes his eyes.
"Nick. It was one night at work, we had an argument about you and my job."
"He doesn't want you to trust me?" She asks.
"He knows I'm better than to be trusting you and spending my life with you." She sighs.
"I've always hated Nick. Hated everything he did-" Sonny reaches for Amanda's hand and strokes it gently.
"Calm down. I'm fine. Nick has his own problems." Amanda fumes.
"He argued with you that you weren't good enough to deserve my love?" She closes her eyes and takes deep breaths.
"I have to go. I need to go talk to Nick." "Amanda, don't." She nods and walks out of her apartment, tears spilling out of her eyes. She gets in her car and drives to Nick's house. She knocks on his door furiously.
"Nick Amaro, open up your door right now." He opens the door.
"Amanda, what do you want?" He scowls at her and looks back at his wife in the house. Amanda slowly reaches Into her jacket and pulls out her gun. She lines it up with his shoulder as she puts her finger on the trigger, and starts to cry again.
"You contributed to making Sonny feel like shit!" She yells at him, closing her eyes and finally pushing down on the trigger. She opens her eyes, and she sees Nick lying at her feet. She drops the gun and runs to her car. She gets in, not even bothering to put on a seatbelt. She drives mindlessly, not even bothering to look where she's going.
"I have to get away from here. I have to get away." She puts her head on the steering wheel for a second, and continues to drive forward. She hits the gas, and sees car coming straight at her. She closes her eyes and slams on the breaks, but is smashed into anyway. She's thrown through the glass of the windshield onto the ground, and the world slowly drifts away.