Secret Love (Carisi/Rollins Fanfiction)

Chapter 42

"You know you can't leave until you're off of suicide watch, Mr. Carisi." He nods sadly.
"I'll stay with you." Amanda says.
"You can't stay because he's on suicide watch." Her face sinks.
"Okay. Can you give us a minute?" The doctor walks out. She puts her hands on his face.
"I love you, and never forget that. Never try to commit suicide again. It was a mistake when I did it, but you're actually loved and trusted. Don't do it." He nods with tears almost coming down his face. She's pushed out of the room for the night. She gets into Liv's awaiting car.
"Thanks for waiting all night with me." She nods.
"Do you want to go to your hotel?"
"Please." They drive in silence all the way back to the room.
"Thanks, Liv." She nods. She pulls a hundred out of her box and walks across the street to the liquor store. She buys what her hundred can get her and walks back. She starts to drink slowly. She hears a knock on her door. She hides the bottles under the bed. The squad.
"We just wanted to check in on you."
"T-thanks guys." She says, her speech slurred.
"Are you okay?" Liv asks.
"I-I'm perfectly f-fine."
"Why are you stuttering and slurring your words so much?"
"I'm t-t-tired."
"We'll leave you alone then."
"Thank-k-s" they all leave except Barba.
"You may have fooled them, but being a district attorney, you can't fool me. You've been drinking."
"I-I-how did you know?"
"You're clearly drunk, your room smells of alcohol-"
"F-fine. I drank a little bit?" She says sarcastically.
"You miss Sonny, don't you?" She nods.
"A lot, really."
"You didn't slur those words.
"Because I really care about you understanding t-that. I drink because all I am is a w-worthless piece of shit." He sits down on the bed next to her.
"We all care about you. Nick and Fin may not trust you as much as they used to, but we're all here for you." She nods and pulls the bottles out from underneath the bed. "You call that a little?! That's three bottles gone." She sighs.
"I just need- t-to drown out my pain."
"Is Sonny driving your pain?"
"H-he is."
"Come on, we need to get you some water and crackers, or you'll be throwing up all night." He slowly helps her up, and she stumbles out the door. They go down to the general store of the hotel and buy Amanda a bottle of water and a box of crackers. They walk upstairs once again.
"Thanks for a-actually caring about m-m-me." He puts his hand on her shoulder.
"Of course. I fought for you in court, and I'll fight for you outside of court too." They both smile as Amanda bites into a cracker and takes a swig of water. "That's so much better than alcohol, Rollins. Don't drink so much." She smiles at him once again, and puts her crackers down. He slowly leans in to meet her.
"Barba, I-"
"Shhh, ninã bonita." She smiles and forgets her need for Sonny, and they gently start to kiss, the passion growing between them.