𝚒 𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚏 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞 || yeongyu

𝖙𝖊𝖓

!use of drugs! & also double update ?? let's gooo

yeonjun hadnt gone home after detention, but instead he went to the beach. it wasn't far from where he lived, and it was even closer to the school.

now he was laid out on the sand as the sun began to fall down the sky, slowly settling the bright day into dusk.

he pulled a vape from his bag and took a long pull from it, letting the violent fumes burn his chest from the inside out.

he hadnt bothered to clean off his blood, nor clean his nicks and small cuts beomgyu had inflicted.

he simply didn't care enough.

he took 7 more hits before stuffing the pen back into his bag, leaning his head onto the bag as a makeshift pillow. yeonjun stared up at the shifting sky in a daze, feeling the effects of the marijuana overtake his senses.

soon enough he had no clue as to where he was, what day it was, or what time it was. the music he had playing had seemed like it had been on for an eternity, but he was only 30 seconds into the song.

not that he cared.

yeonjun just continued to lay in the sand, allowing the warmth from the day to seep into his bruised skin.

the rhythmic crash of the waves barely seemed to ground him, and instead just pushed him further past consciousness.

his body felt like it refused to move, and at one point it felt like rain was pounding against his skin from the inside.

he seemed to stare in an unending trance, focused on the tiniest things that he could sense.

yeonjun laid there for hours, until the fall of darkness and the cold lap of the waves brought him to.

"fuck.." he groaned, quickly standing up and being disgusted by his wet shoes. he shook his head and felt the lingering effects of the weed, but he was sober enough to get home.

maybe.

it was as if he teleported, because yeonjun now found himself stripping off his sandy clothes to climb into his lonely bed. in his lonely, quiet apartment.

the apartment he had scrounged up enough money to get when his parents kicked him out at 17, which was only a year ago.

-

"yeonjun! you're such a disgrace to this family. your father and i are both so disappointed that you let that little beomgyu kid beat you at dancing!" yeonjun's mother spat, her harsh glare boring holes into 14 year old yeonjun.

"i-im sorry eomma, i'll do better next time.."

-

"you're no good for anything! all you do is sit around and mope like a little fucking depressed kid! what is there to be depressed about, huh?? the fact that that beomgyu kid can beat you at something you're 'so' passionate about??" yeonjun's father yelled, causing 15 year old yeonjun to wince as he prepared himself for more harsh words.

"'m sorry.." yeonjun whispered, but he didn't mean for it to be so quiet.

"and stop mumbling! speak up!" his father growled out, angrily awaiting the boy to say something.

"im sorry sir.."

"that's better. now go do you and your brother's chores."

"yes sir."

-

"eomma!! i won first place at the dance competition!!" 16 year old yeonjun exclaimed, excitement practically bursting out of every pore in his body.

his mother didn't take her eyes off of her phone, humming a small noise to acknowledge him.

"mhm yeah.. great job." she muttered, unaware of what yeonjun had really just said. this brought his happy demeanor down, but he quickly shook it off as his mother being busy. so he bounced to his father, who was watching tv alone.

"i won first place in the dance competition! i beat beomgyu!" yeonjun chided happily, eyes sparkling with excitement as he awaited appreciation from his father.

yet he was met with a cold glare that seemed to shatter his heart.

"about fucking time, you're pretty much useless for anything else." his father spat, flicking his eyes back to the television.

yeonjun could almost feel his heart break in his chest, little pieces of it crumbling down into his stomach as a pit formed there.

without another word, he disappeared to his room, unable to keep the tears at bay any longer.

he shut his door as quietly as possible, tears already sliding down his face before he could make his way to his bed. he flicked off every light in his room, submerging it into the darkness that he felt deep inside his chest.

yeonjun slid under his covers and laid down, hot tears flowing out of his eyes, as if they were ready to burst rain clouds.

and they didn't stop, they didn't let up once.

his body shook with each breath, his silent tears now turning into wracking sobs that shook him violently.

yeonjun brought his hand to cover his mouth to stifle the sobs the best he could, but he knew they would just break through no matter what he did.

the pain he felt in his heart was worse than anything he had ever experienced.

it hurt more to know that beomgyu's parents had probably reassured him about 2nd place, and that he'd do better next time. that beomgyu didn't have to constantly worry about his parents hating him so much that he seemed like an intruder to them.

yeonjun didn't sleep at all that night, as the wracking sobs refused to quit. so he let them stay, because that was the only comfort he would get close to having.

he would never realize beomgyu had to sneak out of his house to attend his dance competitions, afraid of the disappointment he would face if his parents figured it out.

-

yeonjun laid in his lonely bed, painstakingly reliving the events that led him to be alone.

maybe, just maybe, if beomgyu didn't exist, his parents would still want to claim him as their own. which began his hatred for the brown haired boy, one that he was unaware was wrongfully formed.

this actually made me so sad to write
don't forget to read chapter 9 !