Hannah

12

Hannah couldn't sleep the whole night. She tossed and turned; tangling herself in the sheets. She felt on edge, anxious and like something important was being forgot. Hannah was so bothered she even called her father's nursing home, asking the nurse to just confirm that her dad was alright. "Sleeping peacefully Hannah, is everything alright with you?"

"Oh," said Hannah half surprised. Not that she wanted anything to be wrong with her father, but with him ok, there was no logical explanation for how she felt. "Yes, I'm ok, sorry to have bothered you, I just had a strange feeling." Rushing to politely say goodbye to the night duty nurse. Feeling stupid and still bothered.

Hannah lay back on the pillow, staring at the ceiling. The faces of the two men she had slept with and the third unknown man who joined them at the table. All running through her mind on repeat. She felt so frustrated by her inability to sleep and the strange feeling that she was nearly ready to scream out loud. Something was wrong and she couldn't figure out what it was. This wasn't the first weekend she had enjoyed multiple hook ups. She had never felt like this any of those times.

Looking at the clock, Hannah had close to an hour before the alarm on her phone would go off. The signal that it was time to get ready to work the first flight out of the day. With a resigned sigh. Hannah got out of bed. Heading to the bathroom. If she couldn't sleep she was going to relax in the bath before getting ready.

Reading on her phone as the tub filled with hot water. When it was finally deep enough to be worth it, Hannah took off her satin nightgown slip, folding it neatly and  sank into the water, letting the nearly scalding water fill up around her.

Since she had a lot of extra time after her bath, Hannah used it to put some extra effort into her look for today. Styling her hair in a sleek French twist. Taking her time putting on her makeup for the day. When she was finished, Hannah thought she looked pretty today. Her makeup skills had managed to cover up most of the tell tale signs she hadn't slept a wink.

Getting dressed in the stiff flight attendant uniform. Putting on the company issued, sturdy heels Hannah once again packed up her suitcase. Wheeling herself out of the hotel. One she wouldn't ever return to. That bed and and the linens on it had been terrible. Still feeling like something was wrong the entire time. Taking a cab across town Hannah still had some extra time before she had to report for duty and decided she would treat herself to an overpriced breakfast at the airport. Try and ensure she was doing everything to start her day off on the best foot possible. She needed to take care of herself. The private party was paying premium for multiple performances, followed by several hours of schmoozing on the floor with patrons.

Really, she decided breakfast was a necessary expense to ensure she made it through her day as the continental breakfast buffet hadn't even been set up when she left the low quality hotel. She needed to make sure she was well fed, rested, and in a good head space to pretend to care about international business men and their feelings for several hours. 

While also pretending to have a wonderful time doing it. A particular chore. But, no matter how she felt about them, she couldn't help but do a happy dance when floor socialising time was booked. By the half hour. No bulk discounts. Every time one was booked it was like someone just handed her money for standing in a room smiling and drinking a drink or two. Plus trying any snacks on offer. Usually a miserable experience overall once everything was factored in, in Hannah's experience. Only made worth it for the pay cheque at the end.

As Hannah sat down at the airport cafe, a waitress took her order for a full old-fashioned breakfast platter, a coffee and a glass of orange juice. The moment she was settled, reading on her phone through the news. Doing her best to still pay attention to the wider world outside of her own personal problems. The anxious feeling suddenly disappeared, only to be replaced by a sense of determination that made even less sense to her than being anxious had. 

It was like she was feeling someone else's feelings. She had always been prone to random bouts of anxiety, started after her mother died and hadn't ever gone away. That was a feeling she knew, had practised routines and personal reminders to help her manage those kinds of thoughts and feelings. Anxiety, that made sense. Hannah understood anxiety.

Random bouts of feeling fiercely determined, that had never happened before. It was strange, but at least her belly wasn't in knots. Just as her meal arrived. Excellent timing. Hannah smiled, and thanked the server, who started work even before she did. An impressive feat considering the early hour.  Hannah respected hard work, and the dedication needed to get up so early. 

The server smiled in return, leaving an oversized oval platter with french toast, berries, sausage, bacon, two over easy eggs, and perfect fried breakfast potatoes with a side of sour cream, just like she had ordered. Grabbing her fork and knife to dive in, Hannah was startled as the three extra seats at her table were pulled out in unison, Holland, the blond god from Friday night and the younger man who had joined both last night all sitting down, boxing her into her corner seat. With no way to get around them. Hannah was trapped, she didn't know if she should be scared or glad.