Hannah

62

After only a couple minutes of cruising down the highway that Hannah was intimately familiar with she finally broke her silence. "It doesn't feel like I am going home this time." Hannah's voice was low. Her brow furrowed, the small town they were heading to had been the only place she had ever known to call home. It just didn't feel the same anymore to her.

"Home is where your heart is happy, Hannah." Holland had said, the words easily leaving his lips.

"I think I am starting to remember that." Hannah said. The swirling drowning tides of her emotions calming down a little bit. "I did like living here. Mom and dad had grown up in Smith Falls too. It was nice to be in a community who knew me." Hannah said, thinking of all the support she had growing up. Aunts who weren't really her aunts but had watched and loved her just the same. A close knit community. 

Hannah turned almost her entire body towards Holland as he continued to drive down the relatively small highway. "Your siblings keep getting you in trouble, Daddy." Holland shivered at the way she said daddy. Hannah must have made up her mind to not be mad at him. Thank goddess and any other deity available for that. He could feel that Hannah was feeling playful, she wasn't mad. She was complicated, but not mad. Holland found himself hopeful that this brief solo trip with Hannah might have some bright spots still ahead for them.

At the exit for Hannah's home town, she turned off the sat-nav app in the dash console. Instead direction Holland to take a long, circuitous path around the town that had raised her. Going past her elementary, junior high, and high schools, places she had worked part time jobs. The first gym she had trained at. Random residential side streets that only meant something to Hannah. Eventually directing Holland to a heritage apartment building. It had once been the city hall; over a century before.

Hannah's apartment turned out to be a quirky one bedroom townhouse style apartment. Spread over three small floors, the ground level was the kitchen and living space, second floor was a large luxurious fully equipped washroom and landings for the stairs to the ground and top floors, the top floor was a spacious master bedroom with a walk in closet, lots of windows and skylights, and even a fire place that matched the one on the ground floor.

The space overall was old while also well maintained, the stairs were original to the building. Holland appreciated that someone must have hand carved every single trim detail that he could see. Knowing Max had an affinity for wood working, had suddenly made Holland more aware of the art of well worked wood around him. It was a perfect blend of modern luxury and history.

The walls were painted white, the elegant and intricate woodwork had also been painted white. The wall that connected her apartment to the rest of the building was exposed, original, hand pressed and set brick. It was a rather stylish and attractive apartment, if small considering how the living space was spread over three floors.

"I liked that it felt old, but had all the new stuff I wanted. Comforting and modern" Hannah said as she snuck up on Holland as he looked down over the railing from the top floor. She also liked the look of the stairs swirling down over three floors. Her apartment had once been more or less just a stairwell for the rest of the building.

Right on schedule, there was a knock on the door just an instant before the smart doorbell dinged. "It's the boxes and moving pod I ordered, just a moment baby girl." Holland said, kissing Hannah on the cheek before near running down the hall for the delivery. It was time for Hannah to pack up her personal effects. She was moving out.

Hannah ordered her last pizza from her favourite home town spot for lunch and snacks as Holland helped her pack up her life into boxes, moving the packed cardboard boxes into the moving pod in the yard for her every single time she filled one.

Tears were shed, memories brought up, embarrassing photos. All of it. Hannah was glad she had Holland here with her as she packed up her life. She did wish she had Max, Caspian, and Aspen her with her as well. She missed them all terribly. It must be because of them being her mates, Hannah hadn't ever felt this clingy about any other relationship.

Holland wouldn't let her throw anything personal out. If she had kept it, it was worth keeping longer was his reasoning. Hannah felt bad knowing there were going to pay for weight when her pod was finally packed and ready to ship. "Don't worry about money anymore Hannah, your mates are going to take care of you." Holland told her, confused as she felt more tense at his words instead of more relaxed.

"I don't want to just be taken care of, Holland." Hannah said, her thoughts and feelings getting tangled again as she went to grab the last personal effect of hers in the apartment. An elegant light blue heavy urn sat on the mantle of the actually functional fireplace in the small living room.

Hannah picked it up, "This is my mother's ashes, I don't think I can put her in the moving pod." Hannah's voice nearly cracking as she held back tears that she didn't understand why they were coming. She was happy with Holland, Caspian, Max and Aspen, they were going to have a real home and family all together. This had just been the apartment where he kept her things, to have a home base near her dad after his accident. This had never felt like home.

Holland took the urn from Hannah carefully putting it back on the mantle. Wrapping her up in his arms letting her tears fall into his chest. "It's ok Hannah, let it out." Holland held her and comforted Hannah, running his palm over her back until the burst of emotions passed. "We will take the urn with us, she won't go in the pod." Holland gently wiped away the last tear with his thumb. Leaning down to softly kiss Hannah's lips, tasting the salt of her tears.

Holland grabbed one last box and set the urn inside, using an abundance of packing material to ensure the urn would be safe as they travelled. A suitcase of clothes shoes and toiletries and the urn were moved to their rental SUV. The cleaners arrived just as they finished one last walk through of the apartment.

Hannah was quiet as Holland let the cleaning team know what needed to be done and where they were to deposit the keys when they were finished so his nephew could pick them up to hand over to the building manager. The moving company would be by soon to collect the now packed and locked pod from the driveway to deliver it to Golden Green.

Hannah sat in the SUV still feeling strangely over emotional. Holland prowled to the SUV when he was done doling out instructions letting Hannah know they would check into their hotel and be just in time to have a late dinner date together.

Hannah kept her eyes locked on her apartment building, her head twisting to look as long as possible as Holland drove them back out of town. Back towards the airport. It had only taken a single afternoon for Hannah to pack up her life and leave her hometown. She felt strange not knowing if she would ever be back. She also felt strangely nauseated in the SUV as they drove down the highway, Hannah never got motion sick. She chalked it up to too many feelings in one day and did her best to manage how queasy she was feeling, not wanting to worry Holland as he drove them back over the highway.