It All Started With a Diary

family

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"No matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief." - Faraaz Kazi

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Chapter 85
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I barely heard the soft knock on my door through my sniffles. I didn't move; I just wanted to be left alone.

Just a little bit longer, I told myself. I knew it was a lie but I would continue to use it until I couldn't any longer.

"Kim."

I squeezed my eyes shut, tightening my grip around the blanket at my brothers' voice. He was the last person I wanted to see.

My family pieced it together after a couple of days. Every one of them attempted to talk to me, but I wouldn't allow it. I didn't want anymore bullshit; I didn't want anything.

When I would leave my room, they would attempt small talk, but there was no use. I was gone.

I felt the bed dip from under me, then a hand drop on my shoulder. I steadied my body to feign sleep, stilling my chest.

"Kimberly, I know you're awake," he mumbled. "I'm the one who taught you that." I expected him to yank the blanket from my body as he always did. He didn't this time, though, thankfully.

"Can you look at me?" he requested in a softened tone. "Please?"

I could see traces of his face through the material, but I remained in my position. My silence was enough to pass as an answer.

It wasn't that I was angry with him; he didn't control Kade's actions. It was more of the shame that prevented me from engaging with him. He was right all along, and he knew it. His warnings were meaningless to my ears, and now, here I was: biting off the stick of thorns I chose to chew on.

"I guess not." I heard his heavy sigh before the weight from the bed lifted. "I just wanted to let you know that your friends are here. They're waiting for you right now." I heard his footsteps fleeting from the bed.

"Tell them to go away," I whispered. I didn't know if he heard me so I pulled the blanket low enough to look at him. All I allowed was the upper half of my face. "Please, don't let them in here." I hadn't used my voice in so long, it felt mismatched.

Ryland hesitated by the door before nodding. He placed his hand on the doorknob then paused, shifting around to face me, again. His expression was full of altruism as he turned to face me. I half-expected him to voice his accuracy, to declare his victory. But, he didn't.

He sighed, sweeping blonde strands back before edging toward the bed, again. His large hand came down to my shoulder, gently squeezing before he met my eyes.

"I didn't want to be right about it, Kimberly," he said softly, his finger swiping at a stray tear along my cheek. My body trembled in retaliation as he leaned forward to place a kiss to the side of my head. I heard him sigh. "When it left you like this, I would have gladly been wrong. I swear I would have."

I clenched my eyes shut as the tears threatened to spill. Before they could, Ryland was gone.

I pressed my head into the damp pillow, tightening the weighted blanket around me. I chased the escape of sleep more than anything else right now.

I didn't even know what time it was, but I figured it was sometime during the day. I'd already taken a sleeping pill, but after a couple of days, it didn't seem to have the same impact as before.