It All Started With a Diary

lies

Warning: self-harmful acts occur throughout the chapter. If these topics are sensitive triggers, I recommend skipping the first part of the chapter until you reach the third '***' somewhere (make sure not to go to the second one or you'll land directly on the scene.) if you're okay with reading this, then I want you to remember something. : )

Remember that you are beautiful. You are fierce. You are a fighter & a survivor. You are you, and you own that shit like the boss ass bitch you are. You're amazing for it.

Anyone who tells you differently can choke.
———————————————————

Chapter 29
<——————————————->

I had always been able to understand reasoning. Even by the worst people, I was able to somewhat understand why they had done what they did.

But, as my father stood in front of me, his eyes weighed down with lies, I couldn't understand. It hurt to even try.

I don't understand this.

"Kimberly, I'm sorry," my father apologized for the thousandth time tonight.

His apology went through one ear, and was roughly pulled out the other. All of this time, I assumed my mother had cut all ties from me, but that wasn't true.

He hid it from me.

"Why would you hide them?" I whispered, my eyes damp. At some point, I stopped wiping them away.

My father reached over to touch my hand, but I snatched it back. My eyes flickered up to catch his expression dropping.

"Ryland and I thought that it wouldn't be good to put this pressure on you, not when you've been doing so good lately," he attempted to explain. "We didn't want to compromise it, sweetheart."

My hard stare fell on Ryland, who stood next to my dad.

"You knew this?" I asked slowly, my anger punching the roof.

Ryland's expression fell from the guilt. I watched as his eyes descended to the floor, answering my question.

I stood up, the chair scraping against the ground. "I can't fucking believe this."

"Kimberly, we need to talk this out," I heard my dad call out behind me. "Please, come and sit."

I shoved my hand across my face, aggressively smothering the tears. "Why? It looks like you and Ryland have it all figured out for me anyway, right?"

Slamming my door, I sunk down into my bed until my head hit the pillow. I closed my eyes, trying to swallow down the tightness in my throat.

They lied to me.

For the years I had been living with them, I was told that my mother didn't want any type of communication with me. I knew there was a restraining order to protect me from her, but I felt so conflicted. I was confused on the fact that I still wanted to speak to her, despite the fact that she treated me like the shit on the bottom of her shoe. Maybe we could have reconnected, maybe we could have spoken to each other over the phone and began a relationship.