maybe|part 1

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"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." —Jimmy Dean
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Chapter 31|Part 1
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I wrapped the blanket tighter around me, pulling out another tissue. I wiped my face, then eyes and nose.

I couldn't stop thinking the library. I didn't know if Kade suffered from extreme anger issues, or if he just took pride in embarrassing me, but either way, it was inexcusable. All I knew was that it hurt, really bad.

I didn't attend school for the rest of the week. My dad thought it was because of my mother, so he allowed it due to his guilty conscience. No matter how many times I tried to pull myself out of this room, I just didn't feel capable. I didn't feel strong, I wasn't. I felt weak, and that was partially why I just couldn't go. The other reason, I didn't want to confront just yet, if even at all.

My tears continued on. I reached for another tissue but my hand grazed an empty box.

As I stood to go get another box, I immediately felt like falling back in the bed.

I walked out of my bedroom, then headed down the hallway once I deemed it well enough. Once I had another box, I paused at the knock outside the door.

"Maybe they'll go away," I murmured to myself.

I heard another knock, louder this time. They definitely weren't going away.

I finally caved in at the third knock. Storming to the door, my anger followed up with each step.

I pulled the door open much harder than necessary. "What?" I snapped.

Raven's grin fell and slipped right into a frown. "You're not happy to see me?"

There was no pretending left inside of me. "Not really, no," I mumbled, wrapping my arms around myself.

Raven stepped into my home, running her eyes over me. "You've been crying."

I shook my head, attempting a smile. "I'm fine."  I guess there was some left.

Her face fell as she sighed. "Come here," she consoled. She clasped her arms around me, pulling my body to hers. "What happened, babe?"

I shook my head, feeling the tears to overtake my voice. I couldn't speak for myself, only my tears could.

She pulled away, holding me at arms length. I stared down, afraid my eyes would betray the lengths of my hurt.

She nibbled on her lip for a moment, glancing me over. "Is it Kade?"

I nodded slowly. "Yes and no."

Her hand fell on my back as she led us away from the door. "Here, let's sit," she said, lowering us both to the couch.

"I—" Drawing in a patch of air, I dared myself to let it out. "It's my mom, too," I murmured, voice cracking.

Raven nodded, her eyes growing sympathetic. "What happened?"

I took the tissue she offered toward me, nodding as a thank you. "She called me." 

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