A Time For Love (A Time For Love Series-Book 1)

Her Memories

STEF POV

"How much do you love these displays babe. Look at this one." Tess smiles wide as we were strolling the 5th Ave holiday windows. We had done this every year but this was the first time we were a couple doing it and it made it that much more special. I wanted to hold her hand so badly but we were out in public and that was off limits for we didn't want anyone to see us, especially someone from the precinct.

"They are beautiful. Not as much as you though." I compliment as she turns to look at me almost blushing. "Corny?"

"Not at all. You're sweet as pie suga." She winks as I feel her grab my hand among the crowd as we head to another display. "I don't give a fuck who sees us holding hands. Let em say something to me. BUT what do you want for Christmas this year babe?"

"Oh me? You don't need to get me anything love."

"Stefanie, you say that every single year."

"Yes, and every single year you get me something." I laugh as we continue to stroll down fifth making our way to Rockefeller Center to see the giant tree regardless of the fact that it was a tourist trap.

"Because that's what I do. And mind you, you get me something every year too."

"Eh, yeah but this year I'm at a loss." I laugh as she stops at the Lord and Taylor display that featured an animated tail of Cinderella. "Well maybe not. I have my eyes set on something."

"Oh yeah? Listen to you." She grins for I did have something I picked out for her and was going to purchase it very soon. A very expensive diamond necklace with earrings. "Don't go spending alot. I'm fine just staying home and watching TV."

"Oh please love. I don't think so. I want to get you something, and I will but um Tess, not to be forward but you know you mentioned something to me the other night." I hesitate as I grab her a hot chocolate from the street cart.

"Thank you honey. But yeah what was that babe?" She asks as we continue our walk and I shove my hands in my long coat pocket as my long blonde hair covers my ears.

"Well umm it's more like I mentioned it to you."

"Yes, you mention alot of things when I can get you to spill your guts baby." She winks at me as I blush and I feel her hand take mine again. "Now, what did you mention honey bear?"

"Oh um, about one day wanting a family together. I think about it a lot nowadays, love."

"I do too. You know, we don't have to stay in the city you know. Alot of the guys live out in Jersey or Long Island, or Queens if you want something quieter one day babe. I'm not opposed to it even if we'd both miss living here. Minus the crime and crap."

"Yeah well that part I won't miss. It's just that um...when, um, when would you wanna start doing that?" I am rather hesitant and nervous asking her this as we stop walking and she turns to look at me a small smile gracing her face again.

"We not getting any younger huh?" Laughing it starts to snow a little and I smile once again at her as she tilts her head at me.

"Well no and yes I know I've been dragging my feet about many things and this is a big step if we were to do it."

"It's a big step sure but maybe you want it all at once babe."

"Well I mean we should probably see if we work together living together. Not that we won't, I just...I put my foot in my mouth constantly." I laugh as she shakes her head laughing at me.

"You don't. And, I'd love to be the one to carry. If you know we can find a donor or go to a bank. I want that with you. Or adopt. Even if that's not really in our favor."

"I know. Look, I don't mean we need to do this now Tess I...

"Who in the world said I don't want it now? You know I got all my levels checked and stuff."

"What?"

"Yeah, when I went to the gynecologist I got all my levels checked and she even put me on prenatal vitamins if I wanted. I was going to talk to you about it, and she said I'm still good to go. So baby if you want that house and the baby I'm game." She cups my cheek not caring who is around us as I smile wide at her. "I'm ready to have a family with you now babylove."

Feeling tears run down my cheeks I slowly open my eyes a bit as I realize I'm still in this room with the beeping machines, the thousand balloons, and cards and nurses running in and out. But I see a woman I haven't seen before or at least I don't think I have placing flowers on my table as she now looks right at me.

"Oh hi. I was just giving you some new flowers." She smiles as I turn my head a little and tears continue to flow down my cheeks and I don't know why for I don't understand the dreams I keep having. I just don't and I don't really understand much of anything right now.

"Hey, it's ok. You are ok. My name is Lena. I'm, I'm one of the physical therapist here." She says quietly as tears continue to stream down my cheek and I just don't feel like talking or being bothered. I don't for everything is just so confusing now and I still don't understand what has happened to me. I just don't but I know a little girl came to see me and mentioned something about a shooting. I knew her name was Bird, but I have no clue what in the hell happened.

"Are you hungry? I can get you something." She asks as I stare at her curly hair that is up and the longer I keep my eyes open the more they start to hurt. My eyes for sure felt weird and my body was so stiff that it felt as if I moved my leg it would break off. Everything felt like that as I must glare hard at her and if I'm honest I wanted her to leave because I didn't feel like being bothered. My heart was breaking for some reason and I just didn't understand why.

"It's ok Stefanie. I know you like pudding I can get you...

"No. No." I manage to get out as l glance in her eyes and she nods as I see the flowers she has placed on my table beside a photo. A photo of the same woman that I had just dreamed about but it only confuses me even more and I start to feel my head spin. Spin like crazy as tears run down my face again from pure fear or whatever and this woman doesn't leave.

"That's ok. No pressure. But, I'm just going to add another flower to this vase to get a little more color in here." She carries on and I just want her to leave if I'm honest because the pain I was in was something and it felt like I was being ripped apart. My mind was scrambling and it felt like I couldn't put any events or thoughts together as my head starts to pound like crazy along with my heart rate. It felt like it would burst out of my chest right now as it was burning and I wanted her to get the hell out.

"Go away. Get out." I manage to say as it now feels like my vision is growing darker and the room is spinning like crazy and I hear a loud buzzing and beeping in my head. I can't help but wince from the noise and pain as I feel her grab my hand. 

"Ouch....pain..pain.." I wince again as it grows even more intense I can barely breath..."Help me... helpp... Tess...Tess.....

"It's ok! It's ok, ya'll be ok. I'm gonna call a nurse!" Her voice fades off as does the rest of the room and I pass out unaware of anything that happens for the next few days.