A Time For Love (A Time For Love Series-Book 1)

A Night She Remembers

FLASHBACK/MEMORY

"Stef, wait for backup!! DO NOT GO in there alone! DO NOT DO IT!" I hear Mike yell over the radio after I responded to a violent domestic call at the housing projects I knew Bird lived in. Something in me had a gut feeling she was in trouble, and I just knew it was her apartment. I just knew it as I pick my police radio up and respond to my brother.

"I'm the closet!  The call came in four times already, and no one responded, Michael! NO ONE!"

"Stef, I'm not that far! I'm on 142nd!" Tess yells back on the radio as the rain is coming down even heavier, to the point that I can barely see and is causing traffic to back up like crazy! The FDR drive is nearly flooded, too, by this point as I speed in and out of traffic as fast as I can nearly hitting a tractor trailer.

"Foster! DO NOT!!! DON'T DO IT!" Mike yells frantically over the radio again. "STEF!!"

"MIKE!!! She's in there! I know it!"

"Stef, please wait for me!" Tess yells again over the radio again as I slam it down, almost driving into a giant puddle for the rain, had picked up even more within the last minute. I've never seen anything like this as I almost get clipped by a truck again, and I barely make it to the housing projects as I pull right in shutting the car off.

Running out of my patrol car, I almost slip in a giant puddle as the rain comes down harder and harder to the point I am fully drenched. This is unreal, and the wind is now picking up as I run into the familiar building, seeing it is the same damn address that was given.

Opening the second set of doors, I wipe my face from the rain and pick up my walkie."Tess, I'm in. Your location?" I ask, making my way into the quiet hallway that has half the lights blown out.

"140th, Stef the rain-." Tess answers, but I now hear nothing but static as I step inside the elevator. It, too, is dark, and one of the bulbs has blown out as well, and I finally make it to floor ten. Stepping off, I feel the gun on my side and the one that is strapped to my ankle as I make my way down the hallway to the apartment that reads 10B. 

Knocking on the door, I am soon inside the apartment leaning against the wall and staring at Bird, who is on the other side of the living room. It is dark, almost pitch black, but I can see the fear on her face as my heart is racing. Right now, I had no time to be scared, I had to focus on getting this little girl out of here safely as I look back over to her and she puts three fingers up. 

Nodding my head, I listen to the voices in the back, as I can hear them most  likely dumping drugs into the toilet as I peak around the corner, not seeing anything except for the bathroom light. I quickly run over to Bird as she nearly presses herself into me, and shots come firing, and she jumps.

"It's okay, baby. It's okay." I whisper, feeling her dig her fingers into my side as I press myself against the wall.

"I'm scared, Stef. I'm really scared."

"I know, baby. I'm here though it's okay. I won't let anything happen to you, but you do as I say, okay?" I speak softly as she holds onto me even tighter as I hear a voice call out but soon see bullets spray everywhere. I push Bird away, taking one bullet in my shoulder and leg as I fire back, seeing how my gun has hit Tess, and she falls to the ground.

"NO!!!!" I yell!!! "TESS!!!! TESS!! BABY NO!!!!!"

FLASHBACK/MEMORY ENDS

"TESS!! BABY!!! NO!!!! NO BABY!!!" I yell, popping up out of bed and holding my chest as I try to catch my breath. I am sweating like crazy now as I come to the realization that I am in my room in Lena's apartment as my breathing calms down a tad. But I've sweat so much that I'm completely drenched and my sheets are as well by now, which embarrasses the hell out of me. 

Sighing, I rub my sweaty forehead and sit up a bit now to grab the glass of water on my nightstand. Sipping it some my anxiety has my mind racing out of control as I try so hard to make sense of what in the hell I just dreamt. But once again, it wasn't a dream, I know it wasn't because it was just like the memories I was having except this time it was even more detailed. It was so detailed that I felt I was there, I felt I was living it and breathing it, and you couldn't tell me any different.

The rain, the talk on the walkie, I felt all of it, and smelled all of it. I remember saying the things I said, I do.. but...my gun,...my gun hit Tess. My gun hit her?

Feeling my stomach twist and turn, I try to take another deep breath as my mind scrambles so much more as I dig hard into my stupid brain. I dig harder than I ever have, but it keeps slipping. The memory keeps fading, and when it comes back, I can't see clear enough about it anymore.

Every technique I've learned in therapy is not working right now, not one single one as my heart rate picks up, and I feel my chest burning again. Part of me wants to call out for Lena as the room spins like crazy now, but I can't seem to do it. I just don't want to bother her another second as I quickly grab the photo of me and Bird off my nightstand and stare at it. Staring at her little face and her smile, she has her arms wrapped around my neck as just looking at her cute face makes my breathing slow down a bit.  My heart slows down a bit as well as I continue to try very hard to calm myself down. 

Thankfully, I didn't wake anyone up as I put the photo back, wanting to just rinse my sweaty body off. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to shower, but the panic was unreal, and maybe the cold water would help me. This memory of shooting Tess with my own gun I had never, ever had. Ever and I can't seem to push that out of my head as I slide myself into my wheelchair and grab some other PJs out of my draw.

Quietly, I open my door and wheel myself to the bathroom, seeing that Bird is fast asleep in her room. Closing the door behind me, I see my shower chair in the shower as the panic takes over me once again. The flashes of me shooting Tess fly inside my brain again as I shake my head, trying so hard to push it out as I hear screaming. I hear myself screaming, I hear Bird screaming and see Tess fall to the ground all over again as it plays in my mind like a continuous loop.

I can't think this, that didn't happen? Or did it? I don't know if it did as tears are running down my face now as I put my wheelchair in park. Taking all my clothes off, I turn the water on as I grab onto the bar in the shower, trying to pull myself up. I knew how to do this, I did, but I guess being in the state of mind that I was in, I didn't fully lock my wheel chair as it wheels back, hitting the wall, and I fall, almost slamming my head on the tub when someone grabs me and prevents me from such.

Scaring the hell out of myself I think it is Lena that has grabbed me but when I look over I see Tess staring right at me as I almost freeze and she wipes the tears that have fallen down my face.

"Tess..."I whisper as the bathroom door swings wide open.

"Stef! Stef! Are you okay! I heard a noise, are you okay?!" Lena asks, grabbing a towel and quickly wrapping it around me as I look right at her now, but I'm so confused, I'm so lost that I just start to cry. 

"Le... Lena..I....she was... she was just right here. I....I saw her." I look around, trying so hard to get the words out as Lena grabs my hand, rubbing it softly. 

"You saw who honey? Who did you see, sweetheart?"

"I...I was just trying to shower..and....and I thought my chair was locked...I..I did and it fell and I almost fell and...and I saw her...I....I...Tess was...she was right here...She was. She....she....." I'm so broken up as Lena moves even closer to me and cups my cheek. "Len....Lena...I shot her. My....my gun....I....I killed her. It...it was me. It was me...I....I killed her. I...I...

"Oh baby, come here. It's okay. It's okay, sweetheart. I got you, I got you. Shhh." She soothes as I cry so hard in her arms for what feels like hours as memory after memory of Tess floods my brain, and I am more heartbroken than I ever have been in my life.