Christmas Eve II

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BIRD POV

"Get whatever cookies you like, Bird. Any. They have a really nice assortment here." Uncle Mike says as I look over at him and smile, but also, being happy he is here too with us. He was always so nice, and he was really good at basketball, just like Stef was. Plus, he was a really, really, really good cook, and I liked his company a lot and when he would come over.

I don't really remember him that night of the shooting, but I think it was because I was already unconscious, like Lena told me, from being shot and from being in pain.

I guess that is why and I only really remember him when we talked in the hospital and he kept buying me hot chocolate. Back then, I was kinda scared of him because I didn't really like any men.

All the men I ever met weren't very nice, or they hit me and my mother. They never got us food, or took us out, or were nice. Not ever, but Uncle Mike was, and I really loved him.

I was happy he was going to be a cop again, but then I was scared, too. I didn't want him to get hurt again like last time, and I didn't want Mama to get hurt either.

I wanted her to be a cop again because I think when she was one, she was a really good one, and I know she is sad that she isn't one anymore.

As Uncle Mike orders our cookies, I turn around and look at Lena and Mama. They are holding hands on the table, and Lena looks sad. I can't see Mama's face only her back, but I know she is really sad today, too.

I think she was having bad dreams about the shooting, and I heard her talking about it the other day with Uncle Mike and Lena. She was talking about Tess, and I think she remembers her. But I think it's too hard for her to remember her, which was why she took all the pictures down of her that she had in her room.

I hadn't seen Tess again since that time in the hospital when I almost fell on the floor. And I know it was her. It was her for sure. I see her in the dreams I have of that night, too, but I can never remember the whole dream.

I only remember Randy shooting Stef, and that's all. I don't even remember my mother much, I don't remember her at all, and it does make me sad. It makes me sad a lot of the time that she died, even if I'm happy, and that can feel really confusing sometimes. I just know that Stef is my Mama.

I don't worry so much anymore because I know her and Lena won't hurt me. But I guess sometimes I do worry they will send me back if I don't act good, but I love them. I love the apartment, and I love everything even if I get scared.

"How about those, Bird? The cookies dipped in chocolate and the inside are jelly?" I hear Uncle Mike say as I look where he is pointing.

"Oh, I never had those before. Are they good?"

"Oh yeah, they are really good. Stef loves these. I mean, your Mama loves them."

"Okay, then lets get them!" I smile at him again, and I grab his hand, holding it as he squeezes it back.

"You alright, kid?"

"Yeah. Just a lot of dreams, and I think Mama is sad." I say as he nods his head and orders more cookies. Handing me one, we take a seat on the little bench as he looks over at me. "Does Mama remember stuff that is making her sad? "

"A few things. BUT, she will be okay. We are all gonna have a fun day, and Christmas is tomorrow, which is pretty cool if you ask me. But, you know, kid, as you know, life sometimes knocks you down, and your Mama wants to move faster. She wants to do more now. And yeah, she's remembering some things."

"Tess? She took all her photos down in her room. She thinks it will make her forget. But it won't."

"Yeah, I know it. But you don't need to worry. You just being here helps her."

"I don't want her to be sad, Uncle Mike. Mama is walking and stuff, and Duke is her nurse. She's actually nice to him," I laugh as Uncle Mike does too.

"Yeah, she can be nice. As you know. Look, sometimes everyone gets sad. We all do. And we talk about it and we are okay."

"Do you get sad?"

"For sure I do." He says as I nod my head.

"Lena gets sad too about her uncle. I know you have only been mine for a little bit, but I'd be sad too if you weren't here anymore. I love you."

"I love you too, kid. And I'd be sad if you weren't around either. I know Lena gets sad about her uncle. That is natural. He meant a lot to her." He says as I munch on the cookie he gave me. "Just like it's okay that you get sad about your mother. It's not an easy loss, honey, and I'm always here if you want to talk about it. Or that night. You know that." He says as I nod my head again and look back over at Lena and Mama.

"I know. Thanks. Can we go back to the table now? I want to share these cookies with Mama and Lena, Uncle Mike."

"We sure can, honey. Enough heaviness for one day. Besides, I'm starving myself." He laughs as I grab his hand, and I try to skip back over to Mama and Lena.

I'm feeling really excited for today because even if I was really sad about losing my mother, I was happy to have a family for the first time in my life and I hope they will be forever.

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