A Time For Love (A Time For Love Series-Book 1)

Outside On 77th

STEF POV

"Listen, if it becomes too much you give me the word, okay?" Lena says to me as she kneels down in front of my wheelchair. We are at the side entrance of the hospital on the main floor because she was going to take me around the block to see if it sparked any kind of fucking memories from my useless brain. "The sunglasses will help with the light and the earmuffs will drown out some of the noise. I know it's been some time, Stef, and it's okay if it's too much. I-

"Just wheel me out already for christ sake." I cut her off looking right into her brown eyes as her face softens. "I just..I want to try. So, so can we try?"

"Of course. You got it Miss Foster." She smiles getting back up and slowly wheeling me outside the hospital. Instantly, I feel the cold air hit my face and hands as the sidewalk doesn't appear very crowded, but I'm not really sure where to look. 

"You want a hat? Is your bandana warm enough? Gloves, Stef?"

"No...I'm, I'm okay. We can..we can go."

"Okay. So, right now we are on 77th street, Stef. The Upper East Side. Does it ring a bell?"

"No," I say as she wheels me very slowly down the street as the noises around me feel amplified to 10000. I was thankful for the sunglasses but the trees and cars and buildings are all were very blurry, much like everything else was nowadays. Not to mention the fact that my peripheral vision was non existent on my right side where I was shot in the head.

"That's okay. Mike said you live in Chelsea. That's closer to lower Manhattan. That way." She bends down pointing in the direction of the giant two towers in the distance. "You are closer to the Twin Towers then where I live. I often use those as a reference point when I can't remember if I'm going uptown or downtown. You can see them from almost anywhere in the city. Do you remember them?"

"I don't know." I whisper staring right at them in the distance like I did every night and morning from my window because they did seem familiar but I just couldn't remember for the fucking life of me.

"It's okay. Do you want me to keep going?"

"Yeah." I nod my head as she continues to push me down the treelined street as I see a couple of people walking their dogs and young kids I guess that were going to school.

"The hospital is in a very quiet area which is good. So, if you want we can continue to do this, Stef. I can't take you too far but I can walk you a bit over here."

"It's fine. I'm tired of being cooped up in that damn hospital and being treated like a fucking baby." I spit out as I hear her laugh a bit. "Where, where do you live?"

"Oh, I live on the Upper West Side. Manhattan has the east side and the west side. I actually don't live too far from here, but, considering I will be fostering Bird I need to get a bigger apartment. I only have a studio which I got a few months ago but I think I found a place. Pretty close to where I live on 86th and West End."

"She um...she will like it. She will feel safe with you."

"I hope. I have to figure out what school to send her to and there's a few things to take care of before hand."

"She doesn't like school." I find myself saying as Lena stops pushing me and takes a seat on the steps of one of the apartment buildings we stopped in front of. "She use to ditch. Don't know why."

"You remember that?"

"Yes and no, Lena. You just may need to make sure she stays. I think she's use to...use to leaving it and no one checks. No one ever checked on her."

"Well, I was thinking of putting her in a private school eventually. She gets homeschooled at the hospital but I think it's going to take time before she can go to a real school again. She's smart though. But, I can tell she missed a great deal of school. She was finishing 3rd grade back in April. But I do want your input, Stef. Honestly." She says as I look over at her and nod my head as the cold air starts to burn my nose a bit.

"So, maybe we can come back out tomorrow and you can help me pick out a Christmas tree."

"What?"

"They sell Christmas trees on the sidewalks all over the city. The one over here is a tad further up 77th but you can pick it out and I can have someone from the hospital bring it in. Or I can." She smiles as I continue to stare at her not saying a word. "I thought maybe it would be nice for us to do for Bird."

"It is. I...I don't mind." I say hearing police sirens in the distance as they appear to be getting closer as a police car speeds down the block now and I instantly get a flash in my brain of pouring rain and myself driving in it with sirens on.

"Stef, are you okay?" I hear Lena and don't even notice she has grabbed my hand and is holding it as I see myself speeding in a cop car again and almost skidding in the rain. I then see Bird running out of an elevator as I chase after her calling her name and run down a stair well. It all seems to swirl around in my head making it feel as if it is about to explode as I become dizzy and feel my damn head pound. "Stef? Breathe it's okay, it's okay."

"My head. My head, Lena. My head hurts so badly."

"It's okay. It's okay. Come. I'm gonna wheel you back into the hospital. You did good, honey. You really did." She says softly wheeling me back inside the hospital as I hear even more cop sirens and ambulances that make my head continue to spin and pound even more that I just want to cry. I close my eyes despite the fact I have sunglasses on and just try so hard to drown all the noises out. "It's okay, it's okay, Stef. We are almost upstairs."

I don't even hear Lena as we make it back to my room and I feel her take my sunglasses off and look right at me. Tears fall down my eyes and ones I wish were not falling.

"What did you remember, Stef? What happened?"

"Nothing. It...it was loud. Just....just too loud."

"Stef, I know you remembered something. I can see it on your face." She pushes as I feel her hand in mine again and I close my eyes tight now rubbing my forehead.

"I don't wanna talk about it...I.....I,"I manage to spill out as I once again see myself in a building riding up an elevator as I'm drenched from the rain. But there is a buzzing in my ear I can't seem to get rid of as I squeeze Lena's hand hard and my head pounds ever worse then before. "My head...my head, Lena."

"It's okay. It's okay. Come. Let me help you on the bed. So you can rest some, okay."

"I, I don't want to fucking lay down!"

"I know you don't, but it's just until your head subsides. Stef-"

"NO! No.. no Lena. I can't lay down another....another minute. I can't!!! I'm tired of being this fucking cripple!! I can't...Lena I....what is...what is that burning smell! What is that! It's ...it's burning!" I yell feeling the room spin and now turn an array of colors.  My body feels weird and I don't know what is happening to me right now as I feel so sick to my stomach as my body begins to shake out of control and I almost fall to the floor before Lena I think grabs me and I black out.

"Stef, it's okay! I got you! It's okay I....."