A Time For Love (A Time For Love Series-Book 1)

Keep Talking

LENA POV 

"I don't want to be this..this cry baby, Lena. I feel like I am one. No.. no wants to listen to a cry baby, and I'm...I'm even getting sick of myself." Stef says as tears stream down her cheek. 

Leaning in, I hold her hand harder as we had come back to her room to talk a bit while Mike sat outside Birds room. I had spoken to him when Stef was in the room with Bird and Mariana about my possible plans, and he was on board 100 percent. 

I was a little worried about how we were going to pull this all off but Mike seemed pretty confident that we could find adequate specialist for both Stef and Bird at home, especially if they were discharged earlier then originally planned.  I wanted to make sure I did the best thing for them,  because the last thing I wanted to do was put either of them in danger. 

Mike of course told me that him and Stef were not interested in having any other physical therapist work with her, and that they had actually threatened to leave the hospital as a result of Adrian already having someone to replace me with. And if that was the case, I'd need to get things together even quicker than Duke and I originally spoke about.

Honestly, I not surprised they already found someone to replace me because why wouldn't they.

"You are not a cry baby, honey. Not at all. You are talking. You are letting everything out, which is so important for you to do. It's important for your mind and your healing. This is part of your recovery, talking about it. And the memories you are having are difficult, extremely difficult, especially with them being so confusing."

"Yeah...I..I guess." Her voice is soft as I can see the hesitation on it.

"Stef, I never saw you as a cry baby. I see you as someone who went through something extremely difficult and is trying to make sense of the person they are now. And that is okay." I say, cupping her cheek now as she looks at me and smiles a bit, tears continuing to stream down her cheek. Her hazel eyes are so sad, so intense, but so ambitious at the same time.

"You're so strong, Stef. You are incredibly strong, and it's important for you to know that crying does not make you weak. Especially not with me. Tess was your fiance, and that is hard. Especially since no one knew except Mike. That right there is not easy."

"Yeah, I..I.. saw.. I saw her."

"In the memory?"

"No, I saw her... I saw her sitting in the hallway here.  After I spoke to my doctor, you know..you know he basically told me I..I can't be a cop again in some sense and when Mike wheeled me out of the room I...I saw her sitting on the bench. And she looked at me... smiling. I..I don't know. Maybe it's my meds, or... or I'm crazy." She rubs her forehead now as I hold her hand once again. "I wouldn't be surprised if..if it was the meds."

"Or it's not, and you did see her." I say as she sighs and looks out the giant window. 

"Yeah, maybe I did. I guess with me starting to remember more, it would make sense? I don't know."

"Do you remember loving her?"

"No..I..I remember ...just...just ..I'm not sure. I used to feel nothing, not a thing, but lately when I remember.. I feel something. A feeling. It's not love, it's..it's something. I still don't remember our life, only that one Thanksgiving I told you about. Maybe a few other times, but it's brief. I guess I must have loved her if I wanted to have a baby with her, huh?" She says, looking back at me as I rub her hand.

"I'd say so. But, I want to tell you, Stef, if you want to be a cop again, we can work towards that. It's going to take some time. And, maybe Tess just wants to say hi to you and check on you." I say as she stares right at me again.

"Lena..I..I'm not interested in having another physical therapist. I..I told your boss that heifer that she can go fuck herself." She says so sternly as I can't help but laugh because I know she is serious and if I know her she really did tell her that.

"And what was her face like?" I laugh as Stef grins.

"Stupid."

"Stef, the truth is I shouldn't have quit like that. I really should have just accepted the 90 day suspension. It was impulsive. It was and-

"And..and I don't like the way they treat you, Le..Lena. You are still the only one...the only one who listens to me in here. No...no one in here does what you can do with me. That Callie girl is scared of me..and OT is well..OT. I want to leave. And I told them that if you aren't my PT then I'm leaving and taking Bird and my brother along as well. They..they can go to hell. It's... it's you or..or no one. She..she is nothing but a big ass moronic heifer. She..she knows nothing. Her and Nurse Demon."

"Nurse Demon?" I ask confused but laughing.

"Yeah...Donna. She knows..she knows to stay the fu... fuck away from me. I told..Mike and I told Adrian you...you are the best. And that if something happened to me while we were outside that it's on me. No one has..no one has done what you have for me. Or for Bird.  Le..Lena, I'm working hard because we...we have this kid now..but I won't get better without you. Bird won't be her best..with...without you either."

"Le..Lena..I may...I may be being forward, but..I told Mike I can wait to leave until Bird is ready. But...are we all ready now? Are we okay enough to leave and walk out..out of here and spend Christmas out of here?  I..I..don't want to be here any longer in this place Lena, I...I want..I hope we can give Bird Christmas at home? I'm sorry...I...I'm being selfish." She says putting her head down as I squeeze her hand again and she looks at me again.

"You aren't.  I..I have an insane idea. And..Mike seems to think it's not insane. Want to hear it?" 

"Yes, su..sure."

"Well...