Bubble Bath

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LENA POV 

"So Stef, I wanted to know if you would like to shower now or tonight?" I say to her as she is helping me clean up the breakfast dishes as we let Bird watch some TV on the couch. I knew this was not going to be easy, which I understood, but I felt maybe if we got it over with, and got used to it, that it could possibly get a little easier for her.

Stef was by no means someone who accepted help easily. And it had taken us a very, very long time to get to where we were now. It took her months to trust me and to no longer curse me out or call me names like she had done to the other staff at Lenox Hill. Partly, it was frustration, and at one point, the doctor said it was something she could not control. However, I always knew she could. And how I knew was the way she was with Bird from day one, and still was. Loving, affectionate, sweet, and kind.

Despite the fact that she trusted me now, it didn't mean this was easy. She wanted to do this herself, and she felt very useless purely by the fact that she couldn't. I wanted her to be okay, I wanted her to know that it wouldn't always be like this, and yes, I told her that. I told her a few times, but I knew she needed the reassurance from me that she was going to get on her feet sooner rather than later.

"Um...I..I guess. Whatever time works best for you. Are..are...are.. we going to do a lot of PT and OT today?"

"No. A little but not enough to sweat or anything. Today, I wanted to show you how to move from the wheelchair to the couch, and from the shower to the chair, and even walk around a little bit. Nothing strenuous." I dry the plate now as she looks over at me and nods her head. "I also put a few things lower for you, and I'm going to attach bars to the counter to help you stand.  There's small things we can do daily that are really going to make a difference for you and Bird. It will be fun, I promise."

"Yeah...I umm..I guess, Lena. Um... when ... when do the nurses and stuff come? Not that I'm looking.. I'm looking forward to it , but...just wanted to know."

"Well, I scheduled them for Monday. Is that okay with you? If not, we can change it, Stef. Listen, I want you to know that you can decide things. Okay? I only set up the first appointment because we were moving around and everything. But, I will never take these decisions away from you or make you feel like you did in the hospital when you felt like you had no voice and that no one was listening to you. Mike and I are here to help you get your life back. And if you don't like the nurse, we can try another one." I say as she drys off the fork and nods her head. "You just let me know, and we will find someone else."

"Oh... okay. Lena, I... yeah. That's fine."

She is quiet now as I turn around and look over at Bird who is laughing at cartoons, as Stef now wheels herself out of the kitchen and I watch her go towards her bedroom and quietly close the door. 

I knew this wasn't easy for her, but I felt like I was underestimating just how difficult it really was. Also, it was possible that there were other things surfacing that had not been prior.

Putting the rest of the mugs away, I walk over to Bird as she is happily munching on a string cheese. One thing about this girl was that she was a bottomless pit and had one big appetite. It was fine, I knew she was used to not having much food around, and I wanted to make it a point to continue to let her know she could help herself anytime, and that we were not going to run out of food.

"Sweetheart, I'm going to help Stef shower, okay? If you need anything you can come knock on the door, okay? We shouldn't be that long."

"Okay, Lena, sure. Can I have another snack?"

"Sure baby. Help yourself, okay?"

"Okay! Thanks." She says as I smile at her and head to the linen closet to grab an extra towel for Stef along with an extra washcloth. 

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