A Time For Love (A Time For Love Series-Book 1)

Christmas Eve Morning

LENA POV 

It had been a challenging last few days with Stef's memories of the shooting coming back and Bird having horrific nightmares as well to the point that all three of us had been up for the last few nights. I was even being plagued with my own dreams here and there about my Uncle Alvin that I just couldn't seem to shut out of my brain. 

These were all memories that I had forgotten in terms of the holidays that just continued to flood me, as I now realize the little coffee shop we were now stepping into was the same one Uncle Alvin use to take me to when I was as young as Bird.

How I had let that slip my mind I wasn't even sure, but I guess because I had been so focused on taking care of Stef and Bird it had been rather easy in some respects to push it all to the side. But, I knew I'd need to face his death, just like I knew Stef needed to deal with the grief she was feeling over Tess that hit her like a ton of bricks.

Since the night Stef had that dream about Tess, she had been extremely quiet. With Bird she of course, was still talkative and attended to her very well, but with me, I could feel and see the iron walls she had put around herself. 

I wasn't sure if she was embarrassed about letting me see her cry and hold her that night, but then I remembered what Mike said, that this was how Stef could be. That if things got to be too much for her that she would close off from everyone and everything around her, especially him.

Stef had been going straight to bed every night right after Bird would go to sleep, and that was usually the time when we would make a pot of tea and laugh and joke together.  I did miss her company a great deal because she was actually a lot of fun and we had great conversations, and we had really become friends. I really wanted her to know that it was okay and that there was no reason to hide herself from me.  But, today she wasn't really able to hide from me because the three of us had promised to do a few holiday things with Bird, including going to visit Santa.

Regardless, I could see the pain on Stef's face, almost like she was remembering even more, and that alone broke my heart.

"I love all the Christmas stuff in here! It's so nice!" Bird says as we head inside the dinner. But it is rather packed, and the only seat left is a booth over in the corner which I knew was going to be a tricky spot for Stef to get into.

"Would you like to wait until a table opens up?" The waitress asks me.

"No..no..we...we can take a booth. It..it is is..fine." Stef says as the waitress nods, and we all head to the one open booth as the waitress places our menus down, and I look over at Stef.

"Do you want me to help you get into the booth?" I ask as she looks right at me, shaking her head.

"No..no.I..I can slide in. I..I can do it." I watch her park her wheelchair and collapses the bars as she slides into the booth seat as Bird slides right beside her. Watching Bird smile at Stef I take my own seat, and we pull off our hats, gloves, and coats.

"Good job, Mama."

"Thank..thank you, baby girl." Stef says as Bird gently fixes Stef's hair, and I watch her kiss her little forehead. "Thank..thank... you baby. What...what do you want to order..my love?"

"PANCAKES!! But, I don't think they are gonna be better than yours, Mom." Bird says, looking right at me as I quickly glance at Stef, who smiles.

I wasn't sure if I was hearing correctly because that was the first time she ever called me, Mom, as Stef rubs the side of Bird's cheek, as I try so hard not to get too emotional. Even if I found it very, very sweet of Bird.

"Oh, well, that is very nice of you to say honey. But, we can get them and try them if you like?" I smile as she rests her head on Stef's arm.

"I think so. Maybe. I definitely want hot chocolate. WITH marshmallows!"

"That...that sounds good. I... I think I'll have that and eggs... maybe." Stef says as I look over the menu myself.

"Bird, you and your Mama made a wonderful dinner last night. That meatloaf was great." I say, sipping my water.

"It was good! Can we make something else tonight, Mama?"

"Sure.. sure. But I think Uncle Mike is gonna... gonna make something again. He..he loves to make things for Christmas Eve."

"Oh yum! I hope he makes those tasty sandwiches again! They were so good!"

"I do too. They were so delicious." I say as I glance at Stef again, who softly smiles at me as I now see Mike walking slowly over to us.

"Hey, family. Sorry a little late. I had a hard time getting a cab, and it's starting to snow again! But hey, before I sit, want to check out the cookie display, Bird?"

"SURE! Can I, Mama?" Bird asks Stef as she nods her head.

"Of..of course baby. We will order for you. Go.. go on."

"Okay!" Bird slides out of the booth now as Mike gently grabs her hand and the two head over to the massive Christmas cookie display as Stef looks at her menu again. Her reading was doing better, but she still needed a great deal of help as I watch her adjust her glasses on her face.

"Do you need help deciding what to order, Stef?"

"No..I um...the picture shows..shows me. I can order showing her the..the.. picture." She says softly as I nod my head, deciding what I want as well. Making up my mind to get egg whites with whole wheat toast, the waitress takes our order as Stef and I sit rather quietly for a bit as she looks right at me now with her soft eyes.

"Lena...um..you..you are having dreams about your uncle?" She asks me to my surprise as I look right into her soft hazel eyes once again as she takes her glasses off.

"Oh um...just one I think." I say as she reaches over and gently grabs my hand, holding it.

"It's..it's not all about me and Bird... Le..Le..Lena. You... you lost someone, too. I know..I...I haven't said much to you the last....the last few days, I have just been...lost..lost for words.  And...I..I care about you, too. I want you to...to know if..if you want to talk about your uncle with me..you..you can." I squeeze her soft hand back as I find myself gently rubbing it now as her eyes become sensitive and kind.

"Thank you, Stef. And, I know it's been hard for you the last few days, but I am here too. And I won't force you to talk about it. We can talk about anything. Anything at all, and that goes for you and Bird. I don't believe it's all about you and her all the time, but in a sense, at some points, it has to be, honey. And I don't see you as selfish or anything, love."

"And Bird is just a little girl, so she always comes first. But, Stef, I care about you. Very much, but you don't need to carry this alone or apologize for how you feel or how you handle it right now. Like I told you in the hospital. Not a single bit of it do you need to carry alone."

I rub her hand a little more as her eyes become glassy, and she turns around to look at Mike and Bird as our little girl is happily pointing to the cookies she wants. Of course, I see Mike ordering a ton for her as I smile, and Stef turns back around to look right into my eyes, and hers are now glassy, which breaks my heart all over again.

"Stef, it's okay, honey. Honestly."

"I'm...I'm okay, Lena. I'm just happy to...to be here with everyone. That's..that's all. And...and it was sweet that...that Bird called you Mom." She smiles again as I return it nodding my head. "She...she loves..loves you too."

"I'm happy to be here with everyone too, Stef. And, well I have to say I never expected anyone to call me Mom."" She smiles a bit now as I squeeze her hand once again.

"Why...why not? You..you are a good one. You..you are Lena.  And..and a good friend. Thank...thank you for being my friend."

"Stef, you are an amazing friend and you are so welcome." I say as she softly smiles once again at me but seeming as if she had more on her mind.

"Lets.....lets give Bird a magical day. O... okay?"

"You bet, Stef."