A Time For Love (A Time For Love Series-Book 1)

Hard Nights Part II

STEF POV

"It was easy to call you, Stef. I memorized your room phone number." Bird says as I smile softly at her. It had taken me what feels like forever to get to her room, but I had managed and pushed through the fucking pain of getting into my wheelchair myself because there was no way I was asking anyone for help so that they could be nosy as hell

I hold her hand now as she sits up in her bed as I had parked my wheelchair closely beside her. It was now going on past midnight and the hospital was rather quiet. I actually liked this time of night because no one was bothering the fuck out of me, the loud blaring TV's that blasted from people's room were off and the annoying chatter and gossip in the hallway ceased to exsit.

I guess all those damn sounds during the day were overwhelming and even the dimness in the hallway alleviated the overstimulation and headaches those bright ass hospital lights could cause me to have almost daily.

Smiling at Bird I continue to hold her hand gently and she holds it back tightly."It helps I can pick it up, huh?"

"Yes. Are you getting better at grabbing things, Stef? I know cups are tricky for you but it will be okay! You will get it. I know it!" She grins so widely and her optimism causes the smile to remain on my face.

"Thanks, baby."

"You're welcome, Stef. But thank you for coming to my room. But, I probably should have come to yours! Was it hard for you to get here?" She looks hard at me now, with so much remorse on her face as she rubs my hand now and I squeeze it gently and adjust my head bandana a bit that was making my headache worse.

"No sweets it was okay. I was up anyway. I'm glad you called me. It was nice to hear your voice. And you can always call..call me when you need me. Okay? Do..do you need to talk? About the dream?"

She sighs now shrugging her shoulders as I gently squeeze her hand again.

"You, you can talk to me honey. No matter what. Ta...talk to me."

"Well, I'm not really sure. That's the thing. I want to talk about it but I don't. It gives me a stomach ache but when I don't talk about it gives me a stomach ache too. Is that weird?"

"No. It's...not at all, sweets. It, it was a hard thing. It's not easy, baby." I say as she sighs and I see tears run down her cheek and it all but breaks my heart. Moving my wheelchair even closer to her bed I carefully try to move myself slowly on her bed as Bird tries to help me.

"I got it...I got it baby it's okay." I reassure her as I push past the pain once again and slide onto her bed beside her now as I feel my bandana slightly slide down my head some.

"I'm here with you, okay? And..and you can cry, okay? You can cry about it, and I..I will sit here as long as you want." I cup her cheek some rubbing it as she smiles once again at me moving closer to me as well.

"I'm better because you are here with me now, Stef. I always feel safe with you."

"Yeah? I am better too because you...you are with me too. And, you..you make me feel safe too love." She gently holds my hand now and kisses it as it's so hard not to smile at her sweetness. She was was a kind little soul and I hoped her life would get better.

"Do you want me to fix your hair? Your bandana fell. But, I don't think you need it. You don't need to worry about your scar, Stef. You're beautiful no matter what and if people stare I will knock them out."

I burst out laughing now as I see her gently push my bandana all the way down revealing my hair that had grown past my ears by now. Even if she was just nine years old I was still so very much embarrassed by my appearance as I see the wide smile on her face. "It's nice. I love your hair. I can do it for you too if you want. My arm is getting better with Lena's help. So I can brush it."

"Maybe..maybe tomorrow. Okay?" I smile some as she happily nods at me. "But thank you sweets. Listen, I um...I know the shooting was scary, but...you are okay. It, that won't happen again to you. But, it's okay to feel about it and be scared."

"I know. Sometimes I don't know I'm dreaming. I think I'm there, and then I wake up and see I'm here. Some nights that happens all night.  Do you remember being there, Stef?" Her eyes are soft and innocent as I let out a heavy sigh and continue to stare into her eyes.

"Um..just bits and pieces, baby. I hear the..noises. But, not much else." I partly lie.

"Me too. But you, you protect me. Every time in every dream, you protect me. Stef?"

"Yeah, love?"

"I'm sad about my Mama. I'm really sad about her, and I'm sad that you are hurt. I wish I hadn't called the police and I wish I hadn't wished that you would save me. Then you and Mike and your friend Tess would be okay." She sniffles as I see tears stream down her face. Ones that I gently wipe as I wrap my painful arm around her and she moves as close as possible next to me.

"Babygirl, look..look at me okay?" I stutter some as she lifts her head up to look into my eyes.

"It's... it's okay to be sad about your Mama. It is. She was your Mama and you loved her. And..and I'm sure..sure she loved you too. What is..what is not to love?" I smile and stroke her cheek some as she smiles back at me sniffling.

"And, and... I'm glad you called. That's why we have police, okay? To ...to help. I'd save you all over again, baby. But, but better. I'd make it so you wouldn't have gotten hurt. And..and you aren't to blame for Tess or what happened to me or Mike. Please, okay. You..you are a little kid and you needed help and you were in a bad situation. I..I will be okay. I will. Don't worry." I cup her cheek now as she nods her head looking right at me.

"You aren't mad at me?"

"Mad? Goodness no. You....you did what I told you. To call for help, Francesca." I utter her real name now not even realizing where it came from or how I remembered it.

"So, no..I am not mad. Never. And, I'm glad it was me you wished for and that I came. I can never be mad at you for that, Bird. Ever. You were and are worth saving. Even if I can't ever walk again or become a cop again as...as long as you are okay. That's... that's what matters. And, you're Mama loved you. Sometimes..drugs..it's hard. It's a hard and... and challenging thing, addiction, baby. But, I can't imagine that she..she didn't love you. I, I think she got lost in things and bad things got the best of her. And, I'm sorry for that sweets. I am sorry. But, you are okay, and that is a good thing. Please, please know that." Tears fall from my own eyes as she nods her head at me and I feel her play with my fingers.

"I love you, Stef, and I'm glad you don't do drugs."

"I love you too, sweetheart, and no, I won't ever do drugs." I lean in and kiss her forehead as she rests her head on me now. "But, don't..don't blame yourself, Bird. You aren't to blame for any of it. Okay?"

"Okay." She whispers faintly as I run my fingers through her curly hair. My head is still hurting a tad now as I feel her hold onto my waist now as we both lean back and rest.

"Stef?" She whispers softly.

"Mm?"

"Don't leave."

"I won't, baby. I won't." I say watching the snow fall from outside as the skyscrapers light up in the distance. But like always a terrifying memory flashes in my mind and this time I see a gun pointed right at me and go off as I jump and Bird holds me tighter. 

"It's okay, Stef. It's over." She whispers as I close my eyes and hold her a little tighter myself.