My Tainted Heart // Colby Brock - Healed Series

Chapter 38: Couples

TW FOR THIS CHAPTER. SKIP IF NEEDED 🖤

Its now October. Ive finally finished watching all the released Hellweek videos that Sam and Colby made. Its the fact this time last year I was watching them as a fan, Now Im watching them as a girlfriend to Colby.

Its kinda crazy to me, This past year has been so wild to me, It feels as though we only started 2022 yesterday. I can remember new years as if it was like 5 minutes ago.

"Fucks sake." Colby comes into the living room saying.

"What?" I ask, I can tell hes obviously pissed off at something.

"The last video of hellweek is being delayed. It was meant to be uploaded 4 hours ago. But no. The fucking computer is being janky even though we bought it when we moved in here." Colby says huffing and sitting down next to me on the couch.

I close my journal so I can put my full attention onto him.

"Do you think its got something to do with the ghosts? Or even the fucking dybbuk boxes you opened for your reacts channel?" I ask bringing up the fact that me and Kat didnt agree to them doing that stupid idea.

"I dont fucking know Eden." He snaps at me and stares at me with an furious expression on his face.

I felt kind of scared, Ive always felt safe with Colby. He knows my limits, And I know his.

I stare at him wide eyed, My breathing became slightly jagged.

"Shit Im sorry Eden." His face softens and looks at me sympathetically

I got up off the couch and left to go to the bathroom.

"Eden." He says as I walk away from him. I felt tears burn at my eyes, I didnt know why I felt like this, I dont know why I feel on the verge of tears all the time recently.

I finally got into the bathroom and shut and locked the door behind me.

"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck." I say to my self in a whisper. I dont know why I couldnt of just said that 'Its fine.' 'Dont worry about it.'

But Colby should know I don't appreciate him talking to me like that, Even if hes pissed off.

I heard a knock on the door.

"Eden." Colby says outside the door, "Open the door. Im sorry, I shouldnt of snapped at you like that. Just ooen the door Eden." Colby says.

"Just leave me alone for a bit Colby." I say loud enough so he could hear me.

I think the move to Las Vegas is getting to me. Im missing California. Im missing Keels, I havent spoken to her in a little while. I dont even know how shes doing, If shes got a boyfriend yet, If shes got a new bestfriend.

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I sat on the bathroom floor, blade in my hand, blood falling from the numerous slits on my arms. I blacked out. I dont even remember doing it.

The thoughts of Cole finding out I did this makes me want to just disappear. He would be so disappointed, Disgusted even.

He doesnt deserve this. I dont know why I did it, I feel guilty about it, The effects it would cause on others, How people would perceive me now when they see the healed scars on my arms.

Would they think Im a disgrace?
Would they want to know why Ive done this to myself?

I grabbed some toilet paper and wiped down my arms the most I could so it hopefully wouldnt transfer through the white hoodie I've got on.