I, Love

05 - You

Jennifer's POV

After Alex left the house felt empty. I wondered if Leah was still working and went to the bathroom. My make up was a little smudged from crying, so I wiped the area under my eyes carefully and went back to the kitchen. There I grabbed the food that has been prepared for me, Couscous with chickpeas and veggies, and sat down at the island to eat.

It's not like I can't be alone. I just prefer not to be.

I unlocked my phone and opened my mails. My heart began to race and I texted Ben back.

„I hope that's not weird but, would you like to meet some day? It would be nice to catch up."

I locked my phone again and continued eating.
About two minutes later it started buzzing and my eyes widened when his name appeared on the display.

I picked up. „Hi you."
„Hi Jennifer", Ben replied.
„I'd love to meet you. What are you doing?"
I opened my mouth but had trouble talking.
„Jennifer?"
„I.. Actually I'm just having dinner."
„Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt."
„No no, it's okay, I'm home alone."
Short silence, then: „Would you mind if I stop by? I'm pretty close right now. If you're in your house in Bel Air."
„Uhm.. yeah, sure." I said as my mouth went dry.
„Okay, see you in 10." And he hung up.

10 minutes. Luckily I was still glammed up from my shooting earlier today and the crying didn't do too much damage. Not that I minded if he saw me without any of it, but it was nice to feel a little extra pretty.

I finished my meal and went upstairs to brush my teeth. When I was almost done, the bell rang. I spit the toothpaste out, checked myself again and went downstairs.

„Hi.", I said while opening the door.
„Hey", he said and gave me a quick kiss on my cheek. Oh god.

„Come in, you want something to drink?"
„Wine, maybe?"
„Ben..", I said in an accusatory tone and raised my eyebrows.
„Okay... water then.", he rolled his eyes but smiled.

„Good", I smiled and poured us water into glasses and gave him his. Our hands touched for a split second.
„So.. you and Alex. Wanna talk about it?"
My body stiffened. „No, I don't want to bother you with that."
„You're not.", he smiled and placed his hand over mine. I always loved his big hands. For many reasons.

I looked at our hands, then back at his face. The fact that I had to look up because he's much taller than me, always held a certain magic for me.
„I don't want to, because if I do, I'll cry. And I'm sick of crying.", I said and my voice got quiet and shaky saying the last words. But I kept myself together.

„Oh Jen. Can I hug you?", he asked, looking pitiful.
„Are you trying to make me cry?", I said reproachfully.

„I'm sorry.", he smiled at me.
„Wanna take a walk?", I asked him.
My garden was spacious and really pretty, even at night.
„Sure.", he replied and we went outside.

It was nice walking slowly around the house, talking to him. It almost felt like old times.

We sat on my patio and watched the steam rising from the pool wafting over the water as it dispersed in the air.

We talked about recent projects.
„I always check what you're doing."
„You do?", I smiled softly.
„Yeah! I mean Hustlers! You were incredible!"
I blushed a little.
„Thank you. It was really challenging."
„I can only imagine. Your opening dance was.."
„Oh stop it!", I interrupted him and buried my face in my hands.
„..hot."

I peeked through my fingers to see him smirk at me.
„You really need to stop.", I said, giggling while taking my hand off my face.
„I'm just being honest. I enjoyed it."
„Thanks.", I said biting my lips.
Many people liked it. But him liking it was special.

„You still have that pole?"
I opened my mouth in shock and then laughed, shaking my head as I exclaimed: „Ben!"
„Just wondering.", he said shrugging.
I laughed softly.
„It's nice talking to you.", I said in a low voice.
„I enjoy it too."
„Are you seeing someone right now?", as I spoke those words I immediately regret them. How upfront.
„I'm not.", he said before I could say anything.
„Oh okay."
We just stared at each other.

I sighed and said: „It's getting late. It's been a long day." I wanted him to leave and I also wanted him to stay. But I didn't trust myself not to make any move on him and that's not what I want right now. It's just.. too early I guess.
„Oh.. should I leave?"
I gave it a quick thought.
„Yeah, I think I wanna go to bed now."
„Okay.", he said and got up and I walked him to the door.
He turned around to face me. He was pretty close.
„That was nice. Really.", he said and hugged me gently.
„It was.", I hugged him back and smiled.
Feeling him so close send shivers through my body and I let out a small „Mh." which I hope, he didn't noticed.

„We should do that again soon.", Ben stated and dissolved from our hug.
„We should", I looked up to his face and smiled.

He left and I closed the door. Me being tired wasn't even a lie. This day was draining.

Ben's POV

How beautiful to speak to her. Be in her presence. I had noticed she had been crying before I arrived, I still know how her face changes after crying. Little things. Her eyes being a little more wet than usually, her nose a tiny bit redder, the look on her face troubled, but also relieved from letting go. The beauty she still held, even when she's hurt.
I noticed all of that. And I was happy to be the one to distract her and to make her laugh a little.

I hate seeing her sad and heartbroken. But maybe, just maybe, I'll get a second chance with her.

I really hope we'll meet again soon.