I, Love

09 - It's over

Leah's POV

Jen invited me over to dinner. We were both so busy we haven't seen each other for a week and I missed her. Not only as a friend, but also as a lover.

When she opened I couldn't help but to hug her tight and grab her ass hard.
„Ouch, Leah!", she laughed.
„I missed that ass. And you.", I pecked her lips.
„Let's go eat.", she suggested.

„I made lasagna.", she looked back at me and smiled whilst walking to the kitchen.
„Really? I'm impressed."
„Bet it's better than yours.", she teased me.
„Oh come on, would you stop? Just because it was a bit salty?"
She just wouldn't let that go.
„It wasn't just salty. It was the saltiest lasagna ever. Ever!"
She put the plates on the table and we sat down to eat.
„Okay, I admit it. It's way better than mine.", I said while eating.
„Thank you.", she smiled at me sweetly.

We were done and brought the plates in the kitchen.
As we did, Jen started talking.
„Leah... Uhm... Ben and I have been getting closer and.. this is going somewhere. And I wanna get it right so.. Me and you.. you know.. It can't happen anymore."
She was standing near the dining table, biting her lip.
„So, you're a couple now?", I asked.
„We haven't exactly talked about it but.. we want to be, I guess."
„Mhmh. Okay.", I said, sitting down on a chair.
I was bummed since I was expecting us to have sex tonight. And though I knew she rekindled with Ben, I hoped.. I don't know exactly what I hoped for. But I didn't want us to end.

„Are you okay?", Jennifer asked me.
„I.. yeah I mean.. we were just playing around, right?"
„Right.", she said and walked over to me.
I don't know why, but I felt my eyes getting watery. I did not want that to happen. I can't cry because my best friend doesn't want to fuck around anymore.

She knelt down in front of me and put her hands on my thighs, rubbing them gently.
„Leah?", she asked softly.
„Mh?", I avoided looking at her.
„You're not gonna lose me as a friend, baby. It's just the sex."
„I know.", I said and my voice cracked.
„Really! This, us, will forever be it. I'll never leave you. I love you..", she smiled at me and I looked at her as a single tear ran down my cheek.

Jen wiped it away softly and placed her palm on my cheek. She probably has no idea how her touch feels for me.

„Okay.", I finally said. „Yeah. This is stupid, I'm not gonna lose you."
„Right.", she smiled at me again.
I exhaled and continued „I'm happy for you." That wasn't even a lie, I honestly was.

„Thank you, mami.", Jennifer hugged me tight and we stayed a little bit in that position.

„I'm good.", I said, dissolved from our hug and added: „I think I'm gonna leave now."
„Really, already?", Jen seemed disappointed.
„Yeah, I gotta prepare for that thing tomorrow."
„Okay.", Jen pouted a little and got up.

I actually had nothing to do, but I just couldn't stay. I needed to be able to give the sadness I felt some room.

As soon as I got in my car, I started crying. All kinds of emotions ran through my body. Sadness because I lost a part of our friendship, fear, because I was afraid of totally losing her, jealousy because now Ben gets to have her. Like, all of her. Maybe I love her more than I think I do, if this situation bothers me so much..

Jennifer's POV

I was kinda bummed when she left so early. I wanted to spend time with her and I felt that the evening was just too short.

Maybe she was really sad we couldn't have sex anymore. I understood, I was sad too. We had an amazing and exhilarating time and I'm surely gonna miss it.

Ben and I planned to go on another date a few days later and he said he wanted to pick me up and I should be dressed casually.

So I picked grey slouchy sweats that still looked chic and a black V-neck sweater, paired with sky-high grey booties. I left my hair open. My make-up was very natural.

„It really doesn't matter what you wear, you always look amazing.", Ben said when I opened the door.
„Thank you.", I said and smiled.
We shared a short and soft kiss.
„Let's go.", he said and put one arm around me.
Even when I am wearing heels he's still taller than me.

„Where are we going?", I asked.
„It's a surprise.", he smiled and opened the door for me.
We drove for a while and ended up driving through the woods when he suddenly got off the road and stopped.
He got around the car to open the door for me and held out his hand so I could grab it to get out.

„What are we doing here?", I asked suspiciously.
„Hop on my back."
„What?!"
He got on one knee, with his back turned to me.
„You've got to be kidding me, Ben."

„Come on. Or do you wanna walk through the woods on those shoes?"
I rolled my eyes.
„You could've told me when you saw them."
„Mh, I thought it would be more fun this way."

„Oh you!", I kicked his ass playfully and then got on his back.
He piggy backed me for a few minutes and with only the moonlight peeking through the treetops I could see a small clearing when he stopped.
„We're here", he said and let me down gently. „Just wait here, don't move."
He started to light candels in lanterns made of glass and I could see a blanket with a picnic basket in the dim light.

„Okay.", he said flashing a big smile.
„Sit." He made an inviting gesture.

„Ben, that's so beautiful!", I said, placing one hand on my heart.
Ben sat down.
„Come here baby.", he held one hand out to me.
I sat next to him and he opened the basked that was filled with fruits, a little bit of chocolate and some water to drink.

It was a perfect date. Until it started pouring.
We ran back to the car and Ben waited until I got in, then he ran back to get all the stuff he brought. He was as wet as if he went swimming.
„Can you imagine? It basically never rains but now, today??", he said as he got back in.
I laughed and he did too. I leaned towards him, smiling and he leaned in too. We kissed slowly, feeling every touch of each other deeply. I don't think my heart will ever get used to this. I got Ben back.

He drove me back home and we agreed to schedule our next date very soon.

At home I thought about Leah. I haven't heard from her since the day I last saw her. But we were invited to a party of a mutual friend and I was already exited to see her and party with my bestie.

I wondered if I'd bring Ben, but we weren't official yet. Maybe that could change soon.

Our next date was in two days already and I planned on asking about it.

I invited Ben over to my house, since I was flying out of state for work those two days in between and I'm always happy to be home again.

Ben showed up around 8pm and brought take-away food as agreed.
When we were finished I got up to him and sat on his lap, spreading my legs.

I kissed him and asked: „Baby.. what are we exactly?"