D&S

Chapter # 32

Ester, you don't know it but you have given me life.

"Unexpected speech given by our SG. Don't you think, Desmond?" Emily mocked with a smirk while coming in my direction with Henry.

"Yes. Seems like she has finally decided to stay away from toxic people." I replied, monotonously.

"Like you." Henry taunted.

"Like you." I taunted back.

"He is far better than you." Emily deliberately acted as if she was not on my side.

"Only if you know." I scoffed. "What?" Emily asked, being oblivious.

"Nothing. Leave him, Emily. You should go and meet up with other girls. I need to talk to Desmond." Henry said, glaring at me. Emily nodded and left.

"So, how's your life without Ester?" Henry asked.

"Just like your life is without manipulating me; worthless." I ridiculed him.

"But Ester will never come back to you." Henry said triumphantly.

"Maybe because Ester never left me." I replied to which he laughed scornfully, "Seems like you are becoming Ester when she is becoming normal." He chuckled.

"We will see." I averted my gaze from him and looked at the stage.

"Ester will not come back to you after knowing what happened to Grace."

"And what about the lie of Grace being pregnant?" I asked angrily. It boils my blood to think about how low he could fall. He is playing a dirty card.

"Still, your love has taken a life." He defended himself.

"It's not like I have killed her by my own hands..." I muttered.

"But she died because of you." He growled.

"No." I said firmly and turned to him. I looked at him dead in the eyes as I continued in an emotionless voice, "She died because she was weak." I gave him a seething look. He cursed under his breath. I turned away and walked away.

I have finally understood Grace's death is not my fault. I have lived in a nightmare all this time, I won't let it eat me up.

I cannot be held responsible for one's weakness. I have all rights to decide who I will love and I cannot force myself to love anyone.

Only if she understood this little thing, none of this tribulation would occur. Me and Ester wouldn't have wasted a whole damn year of frights, hatred and dominance.

I sighed and went backstage to see Ester. I was about to enter but then I saw Ester and Emily talking at the end of the corridor. It was a rare sight to see them talking. I walked closer and called Ester, "Ester.." They stopped talking and Ester turned to look at me. She gave me a look filled with extensive anger and snarled, "Even if Grace was not pregnant. The fact remains she killed herself because of you."

I lost my ability to speak when she said that. I couldn't muster the courage to speak anymore because the ray, the thin line of power she put to keep me together began to fade away.

"Ester, Desmond has no faults. He cannot force himself to love anyone." Emily defended me but Ester has no intention of taking my side, She is determined to not believe in me.

"He also never loved me when we first married. I died for his love for a whole damn year. He terrorized me, humiliated me, I still stayed because I loved him but he didn't. He also never loved me but he forced me to stay with him."

Ester said infuriated as a tear pricked in the corner of her eyes but she quickly wiped it off.

"Don't you think he forced you to stay with you because he loved you?" Emily asked. Ester gave out an empty laugh when she heard it.

"But he never showed it. And there's no point in loving someone behind their back- they will never know." Ester scowled and turned her head away.

"But Ester please, Listen to me." I managed to speak in a sad whisper.

"What will you tell me? Huh?" Ester mocked in a cold voice.

"Please don't say this, Ester. You know it, I have-"

"No. You didn't. You never told me what Henry did." Ester said irritated.

"You know it! He can twist words and use people like puppets, still you believe him?" I asked, raising my voice.

"Keep your voice down, Desmond." Henry said from behind, coming in our direction. Ester rolled her eyes off and Emily said furiously, "Why did you tell Ester that Grace was pregnant, Henry?"

"Because she told me she is and Desmond neglected both of them." Henry replied casually.

"That's nonsense!" I said. "I am here to talk to Ester. Not you guys." I said angrily and took a hold of Esther's hand and took her with me.

"What are you doing, Desmond? Let me go." Ester whined, trying to get out of my grasp.

"No. You will come with me." I said sternly. "I won't." She kept on struggling so I pinned her to the nearest wall with both hands holding hers, securing her to the wall leaving no space for her to escape.

"And we will talk as you said and You. Will. Not. Resist." I said in an angry husky voice but I have forgotten that the Ester in front of me is not the person who will subjugate quietly.

"And. You. Won't. touch. Me. Get away!" She pushed me off of her and glared at me. "And don't you dare to intimidate me ever again." She breathed out, setting the collar of her shirt.

I lost. I couldn't speak. I don't hold power over her anymore, she is liberated from my fears and I was happy. She is finally not under my control.

"I.. am sorry.. I.. didn't mean to." I looked down.

"Just you always hurt me unintentionally." She said bitterly. It hurt me immensely to hear this. She is saying too much.

She knows where it hurts the most and I couldn't bear listening to it. It hurts me. Okay, I am happy that she is not afraid of me anymore but her words broke my heart.

"Then tell me how would I redeem my past mistakes? What happened has happened. I cannot change the fact I was an asshole in the past and scared you to no extent. I cannot change the fact I have terrorized you intensely, that I tried to kill myself just for your love. Will my penitence ever be enough for you to not repeat the past because it hurts Ester." I whispered.

"I cannot change it and it is eating me up. It hurts every single moment to remember how much I have hurt you. And I am willing to spend the rest of my life trying to make up for the past year.. but please." I begged.

"Can you give me the chance to make this up? At least give me a chance to prove that I will never hurt you and will love you even in the afterlife. Please give us time. Have faith in me. I love you."

I begged as a tear rolled down my cheek. My chest tightened. I sniffed and forced my tears to stop so that they wouldn't fall as I burst out my emotions. I kept my emotions at bay but it was so hard as I could feel a few tears drenching my cheek.

Ester bit her lower lip and turned her head away, knowing she had gone too far. She knows she shouldn't have said that. She realized her mistake as she exhaled deeply and whispered,

"Sorry... let's go..." I sighed and shook my head as we both went to the rooftop without exchanging any other word.