D&S

Chapter # 18

It's been a week since that day. Not letting me go after having a chance to escape; igniting a small fire of hope that is filling my heart and that's all I need to believe that one day, an intense feeling of fondness will be drawn out from him. He is my husband and there's nothing wrong to crave for his attention and love. I love him and always will.

But, my life is getting harder day by day. We continued to live our lives like before. He ignored me or mocked me. I love him but that doesn't mean I can bear his terrors. I am really scared of him. When he despises me that much, why can't he let me go? It's almost a year of our marriage and all he has shown to me is his dominance and loathing. I wonder how long I can hold my facade...

I am afraid of the day when my terrors will overcome my love for him.

I sighed and looked at the garden to calm myself. That's the only place in this house where I can find solace. The rest of the places initiate a feeling of apprehension in my heart, even the walls. There's an unfathomable uneasiness in that house. I was never at peace ever since I stepped inside this house.

I smiled weakly at the garden. I planted new flowers in the garden. Since I have permission to do whatever I want with it, I decided to rearrange some flowers as well as to add some new ones. I inhaled the scent of flowers and smiled to myself. I walked inside and saw Desmond. He looks perfect as usual. Composed; Filled with Virtue and Pride. I smiled and greeted him,

"Welcome home! You're home early!" Ever since I came back, I have smiled. No matter how much I felt scared, no matter how much his words hurt me; I smiled.

"Do you have a problem with that?" He asked, annoyed.

"Not at all." I grinned. We both looked at each other, my smile never leaving my lips. His exquisite gray eyes are dark with incapability of being explored. His mysterious eyes scanned me. He then heaved and left. I tilt my head in confusion. I shrugged my shoulders and went to the rooftop.

I look at the sky. It was filled with dark clouds. The Dim intensity filling the sky is a call to Divine; that he should bestow his creatures with the blessing called rain. Rain reminds me of our honeymoon. How he picked me up and took me home. I smiled when the calls of the sky were heard as a droplet of rain fell on my cheek. Soon, the drops of water, filled with immense calmness, began to fall. I smiled and inhaled as the smell of wet soil filled my nostrils. I loved that smell. I grinned as I began to dance and sing my favorite song,

Naino Ki To Baat Naina Jaane Hai, (Eyes knows well about eyes)

Sapno Ke Raaz Toh Raina Jaane Hai. (Night knows dream's mystery)

Dil Ki Baatein Dhadkan Jaane Hai, (Only heart-beats know About heart)

Jispe Guzari Woh Tan Jaane Hai, (The body who has suffered, only knows)

Hum Deewane Ho Gaye Hain Aapke. (I have become crazy for you)

Hum To Bas Itna Jaane Hai; (I just know that)

Tu Mera Hai Sanam, (You are my beloved)

Tu Hi Mera Hum Dum. (You are my partner)

Tere Sang Jeena, Ab Saaton Janam... (I Wanna Live With You In My Next Seven Births)

I closed my eyes as I let out a silent tear. This is such a breathtaking song. I felt my heartache when I sang that song. A strange sensation of sorrow washed over me. I feel like this is about me,

The body who has suffered only knows.

That's right, the only one that can understand my pain is myself.