It was hot, so unbearably hot. His bangs were sticking to his forehead, his shirt was soaked with sweat, water spilled by an overly excited guitarist, and beer. His sneakers stuck to the floor. With every step, every jump, they seemed to get pulled back against the ground.
The bass echoed in his stomach, changing lights tore through the darkness, caught up everything in slow motion, the crowd around him that moved in the same rhythm, he who all of a sudden was so awfully close.
The air inside the small concert hall was stale, but it wasn't the only reason that made breathing so difficult, that made him feel as if he was about to suffocate.
It was Cole who all of a sudden showed him a side of his he had never seen before, not once in all these years. While usually, he was quiet and distanced, he was now bouncing next to him, as if the first riff sounding through the hall had provoked something inside him, something he hardly ever showed.
Hidden in the dark, carried by the music, he seemed to feel free, and while Cole was totally absorbed by the concert, Kai wasn't able to focus on one single note. His gaze kept wandering from the stage to Cole next to him who followed every movement without taking any note of what was happening to him.
Luckily for him. He wouldn't have known how to explain it anyway. It wasn't that Kai himself wasn't surprised.
The crowd around him screamed, someone pushed him. He looked up. The band left the stage, followed by more unintelligible screaming and shouting. He hadn't even noticed that the concert had come to an end, but for a change, he didn't mind.
Usually, he felt like they were over in a rush, but tonight he couldn't wait to get out of the hall. He only had to survive the encore.
"Insane. Just fucking insane."
He just nodded while Cole was jumping up and down with every step. He had expected him to calm down again as soon as the last note got played and they returned to reality, but somehow, the guy was still hyped and unusually talkative.
It hadn't been the first time that the two of them had gone to a concert together, but never before had he really let loose. Usually, it was the other way round.
Now, Cole talked without taking a breath, analyzed every single song, the instruments, the acoustics, the atmosphere, while Kai's brain circled around one single thought: Cole.
Never before had he been so distracted at a concert. And it had been him who had suggested to go there. He hadn't even expected Cole to agree, since they didn't really share the same taste in music. Or so he had thought. Maybe that had changed now.
The way to their apartment seemed endless. They had missed the bus and were forced to walk most part. It was freezing, but not even the cold around them managed to calm him down. He still felt hot, way too hot giving the season, even though his trembling hands proved otherwise.
He kept quiet, barely managed a nod while Cole kept talking. He hardly dared to breath. It was only when they finally arrived home and the door to his room felt shut behind him, did he dare to let exhale.
Kai wasn't even surprised when he didn't get any rest that night. The music still echoed inside him, his ears hurt, but it was nothing compared to the images that got more vivid the more he tried to push them away.
Cole next to him, his bangs falling around his dark eyes, his arms, the lean muscles that flexed with every movement, his smell, this damn smell he had suddenly grown so aware of.
Fuck.
Sleep had become rare. The first nights, he had tried meditation, then exercising. One evening, he had gotten drunk, but after weird nightmares and a horrendous headache the next morning, he had decided to not go down that road again.
So now, he just lied there, staring at the ceiling and cursing himself while his pulse went back to normal and his breathing calmed down again. Somehow, he had hoped that little breakdown would come to an end after a few days, but if anything, it had become worse.
