Find someone else to take you home

Time to talk.

"Hey" he smiled lightly as I walked closer.
"Hey"
"Ready to go?"
"My cars here." I pointed over my shoulder at my car that was in the parking lot.
"It wouldn't be if you let me drive you...but whatever. We can come back for it?"
"I'd rather at least take it to the house then I'll come with you."
I could tell that irritated him but he tired to ignore it "okay I'll follow you"

I smiled and walked over to my car and climbed inside, throwing my bag in the back. I could see Billy slamming his door, waiting for me to back up, he was in a mood which was going to make talking a waste of time if he didn't chill out now.

I pulled out my phone and sent him a message.

-hey if you're in a bad mood I don't think we should talk, we can always wait.
-no, I'm sorry I'll chill...I just wish you were in my car.

I backed out of the parking spot and headed towards the house, Billy was closely behind me I could hear the music blaring and engine. I pulled into the driveway a minute or two later, he was still closely behind me, as I parked and got out of the car locking the doors behind me.

I walked over and got into his car, the smell of cigarettes and booze filled the car. As I got inside I could see an empty bottle of whiskey behind the passengers seat, my thoughts were right he had gone on a bender last night. I closed the door behind me and tried not to look his way as he quickly reversed out of the driveway and sped down the road. Billy was still pretty quiet, he was strumming along to a song on the radio I couldn't tell what song it was because it was so low.

I didn't know what I was going to say, what he was going to say or what the ending of this was going to look like.

We pulled up to the park that I had first found him at, when he was drunk after Neil had beat him. When we were parked I could tell he was tense since he still wouldn't look at me and just kept messing with the radio and the steering wheel.

"Are...are you okay?" He finally broke the silence and looked over at me.
"I'm fine"
"I just wanna go back to the way things were Dani I miss you"
"I mean, I said everything I needed to say yesterday on the phone. I'm not trying to make you choose or anything like that, but I just want you to realize what you did wasn't okay. I've been there for you through everything, even before we were together and you made me feel like I didn't matter to you."
"Dani that's not true you mean everything to me, I should've never let you get out of the car or walk away. I was scared with Neil coming home and I went back into that mode again. I'll never not be sorry for what happened, please let me prove it to you."
"Billy-"
"Please don't give up on me...or on us. I'm in love with you and I don't know how to handle this...I've never been in love with someone before."
"Wait what?" I was speechless, here he was telling me he loved me now too.
"I love you Dani and I don't want to lose you. You...you mean everything to me, I've never felt like this before and I don't want it to go away. I'll make this right I swear."

I didn't know what to say, I was speechless. I didn't know what I was going to say but the way he was looking at me I knew I had to say something, but as I went to open my mouth he started talking again.

"I don't want to be like him Dani, and I'm sorry I left you on the side of the road, that wasn't me that was something he would've done." He took a deep breath and reached for my hands. "Dani he raised me alone, after my mom left he told me that women are the worst creatures on the planet, that they are beneath men and mean nothing. He raised me to be this way, that's why I've never been in a real relationship, I was taught that every girl I got with would cheat on me and leave me just like my mom left. And I'm not telling you this as some excuse, I'm telling you so that it explains my actions a little bit more, when we started fighting and I knew Neil was coming home I could hear him in my head again telling me how much of a fuck up I am, and if he caught me with you he would do everything in his power to make your life a living hell just like mine. Everyone around town knows how bad Neil is, and thinks I've followed in his footsteps as the racist, sexist asshole but I'm the exact opposite...at least I thought I was until I left you on the side of the road."

"You aren't like Neil. You've never laid a hand on me, and I think I know you well enough that you would never."
"But what if I do?"
"Then you'll get hit right back, but Billy you aren't him. What you did was shitty as hell, yes and it hurt me, but at the same time if anyone would understand why it's me. I've lived next to you and your family for years, and I've heard everything your walls are like paper thin, you aren't like Neil Billy I swear to you. You're a good man, you're just...scared."

He lowered his head, I wasn't sure if he believed everything I was saying or if he was still beating himself up.

"I was so scared that I lost you...that I messed this all up"
"Messing it up would be not talking to me, and pretending I don't exist or trying to sweep everything under the rug, which you've done none of the above, Billy we're okay."
"I want to be more than okay. Please let me make this up to you we can-"
"You can make it up to me by just being yourself, and being open about things. You've been pretty open but in the moment that's your weak point, it's something we need to work on together"
"Together?"

I reached for his chin and pulled it up lightly so I could see his eyes, they were glossy and he looked confused.

"Yes, together. Can I ask you something?"
"Anything"
"Has anyone ever stuck around like me?"
"Not even my mom. Neil told me he had to because no one else would want me, he said he's stuck with me." His voice broke as he spoke, he was fighting back tears. "Until you...but why?"
"Maybe it's because I see the real you, maybe it's because I think everyone deserves to have someone there for them no matter what, maybe it's because I know what it's like to have no one, or maybe it's because I love you too."

His mouth dropped open as I said those words.

"I've never heard anyone tell me that they love me..."
"Looks like I'm your first for something after all"

We both started laughing.

"Can I be honest with you?"
"Yeah you can"
"I thought you were only agreeing to meet me so you could break up with me..."
"You know, I honestly thought about it, I didn't deserve to be treated that way. But, you explained yourself so I guess this is your second chance."
"I'll only need this chance, no more. I promise."
"I'll hold you to it."

He pulled me in and kissed me hard, like we were going to go through each other and become one person. I guess I had a weak spot for him or something.

"Wanna go back to your house?"
"Yeah we can, where's Max?"
"At a friends house, she's staying there tonight."
"So no issues with Neil?"
"Nothing yet, things have been quiet. I don't stay in the same room as him or Susan for very long though, the longest we're around them is dinner time."
"That's good."
"You ready to go?"
"Yeah we can figure out dinner when we get there"

He turned the car around and we headed towards my house, he kept one hand on my knee the whole way and looked at me every chance he got.